Trying to ween of hydrocodone after 5 years and opiate addiction since 2004

[Hydrohelpgirl75]

I'm not sure where I'm supposed to post, but I'm on day 5 of tapering my hydrocodene from 5-8 10mg/325 to 2 a day but I want completely off. Should I just stop or keep tapering as I first started out in 2004 using methadone and was on 120mgs a day for 9 months. I got off that cold turkey not the best idea... But after outpatient therapy and AA meetings I was ok. After a year I married in 2005 and for pregnant and didn't take a pill until my daughter was almost 3years old (as I was told I could never take a pain pill again a I am an addict.. Which I am). I had my gallbladder removed and took the pain meds they gave me and that was it, I was back..I ended up on Suboxone, as I could only go a few days through coming off pain pills. Then the Suboxone I was on for 2 years and I weened off that ( which was worse coming off anything). It took months and then I was clean for maybe 6 months, then a car wreck which messed up my back and neck and now back on the hydrocodene. It doesn't get me high, it's not even about the high anymore as that went a way a long time ago, it's I can't do my daily functioning without it, work, being a wife and mother. But I know it's removed me emotionally and effected my memory and not allowing me to be the Best mother I can be and I want off! My back and neck pain are an excuse and I just want to be me again. My head clear. I can't take off work or go in treatment. I have to continue my day to day responsibilities so I started last Thursday as I can veg out a little more on the weekend. Today is Monday, so it's been 5 days and I just want to crawl in a hole! And then how to I get off the two a day. I know suggestions is to slowly tapper but does it matter at this point? Should I just stop it all.. I don't know what to do?

[Hydrohelpgirl75]

Thank you

[Hydrohelpgirl75]

Thank you for commenting, I needed that! I'm gonna just stop them. I'm down to two a day and I don't want to drag it out anymore. Thank you!!

[ariley13]

Hi there and welcome! The decision on whether to taper or not is a personal one. There are benefits to both tapering and going cold turkey. Tapering properly and slowly will minimize the severity of withdrawal symptoms, but it also drags them out a lot longer. It's often very hard for addicts to stick to a taper plan. We find ourselves feeling cruddy and taking 'just one more' to feel better. Then we are right back where we started. Quitting cold turkey is hard, but it is the preferred method of most. It's like ripping off a band aid really fast. It hurts and is rough for a short time, but then you can get on with your life. Usually the first week is the hardest, then the physical symptoms start to subside and you can focus more on the mental aspect of your recovery. Whatever you decide, please stick close to this site and keep posting. You will get lots of great advice, support, and encouragement. Take care and keep your head up. You are doing a great thing by quitting!