relapsed again hopefully for the last time

[beany215]

It has been about a month since iv been on here...I went 14 days clean and thought to myself I'm cured just one nite of having fun will be alright...that turned into almost 3 weeks of taking 15 to 20 yellows viks a day....I haven't taking a vike since wed but had a 30 roxy on Friday and.cut an oxy 80 into 3 pieces to get me through driving to new York and having Easter Saturday with my family...so nothing since Saturday afternoon it was like a miny taper .....I think it worked because I do not feel any type of withdrawl symptoms at all.....except the mental craving...I once said in a post that I would never need aftercare but I think if I'm around it at all ill never be able to.controlling myself again....I just feel so terrible for wasting another couple grand on a artificial feeling and neglecting what's real in my life....fiance,daughter,work,school.....my mind just keeps saying its ok to be numb u worked hard all day u deserve it .....what a mind ****.....again can't believe I'm here.....I even pulled the most junkiest move by trying to fill out a false prescription and the only reason I didn't get arrested was because I happened to know the girl who realized it was fake randomly...I would be in jail rite now all cuz I was out of pills and couldn't get any.....that is what snapped me out of this relapse.....I feel good physically and I'm not continually thinking about pills which is nice ....its just seems so hard at times .....ill get through it its just.nice.to.vent....thanx guys for listening

[FourChickens]

It sounds like the detox symptoms are high on priority in your mind. That is just the beginning.. the easy part. I agree with sudie58...please get some aftercare, If you are really serious about being clean. It has to be more than "feeling ok, and spending a couple grand" you have to want to be clean. If not, you will struggle. I wish you the very best :-)

[sudie58]

please get some aftercare, this addiction is very sneaky and ready to pounce always, i wish you well,