Having a I want to cry my eyes out "Moment"...

[dedicatedtostop]

The title says it all.

I have these what I call moments daily... I get through them because I know that they soon  pass. Just looking for encouragement and Love. My spouse is suppotive, however he has never been the one to show alot of emotion. I just want to wrap my arms around someone and get a huge hug.

Let me say this... Physically, I do not feel that bad at all, it is just the sad moments that come and go.
Also I have ABSOLUTELY no desire, or cravings to use at all!!

I guess what i need is just supportive and loving words to take the sadness away so I, as always turn to you all because YOU guys here are the ones that do that best for me :(............ Let me add... I do feel great because i know I have overcome this thing again, this time forever, I swear I learned from my mistake.....  Just feel like I need Love right now

[hiskidd]

Tell him to listen to "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. One song may change his life. Praying.

[dedicatedtostop]

i thought i was just going w it and it seems to be not good enough for the one i have to be in the same house with... dont know what else to say

[Greatgreebo]

So....DON'T FIGHT IT.....go with it. If you have to cry, then do it bigger than life!!! Don't run from it-embrace it and just cry

Sometimes fighting isn't the way to do something...sometimes just going with it is much better.
Get a note book and start writing down all the things you are upset about, mad about, sorry about, ashamed about etc and just cry your eyes out.

Stay strong-you can do this
Greebs

[dedicatedtostop]

Okay guys, can't seem to pull out of this, just want to cry:( I dont know how much longer I can stand feeling like this!!!!!  OMG

[Greatgreebo]

Hang in there....it gets easier. You are doing great!!!   The sadness comes in waves for me, so just close your eyes, hang on tight and let it crash over you...........once the wave recedes pick yourself up, dry yourself off.  Everyone is here for you

Greebs

[dedicatedtostop]

First off thx 04...... I am so sorry to hear your story, my heart goes out to you @ jam you are 100 percent right he is always stressed to the max at tax time so your right it would not matter. I have since taken a nap, don't feel to bad right now and yes I plan on posting and posting and posting......much luv to u all

[Jammerson1906]

Just read your post about him emailing you...see, he loves you. Right now, you BOTH need eachother. And when BOTH of you are having a hard time, tends to make for a little stress. SOOO much easier when it is just one of us right???

I am sure he is doing his best, right now. When he can find time, maybe even 10 minutes before bed let him get on the site and read. My hubby is incredibly supportive...but has no desire to be on here. So, I read them to him. I teach him what I have learned. Things I NEED him to know so that he can help in my recovery. Not recover for me, but truly support me and if he sees warning signs, to call me out.

HUGS:)))

[Jammerson1906]

I wish I could tell you to tell him to educate himself...but I know the answer, he is swamped and there is no way he could find the time.. That *****!!! You what I think though...he is sooooo stressed out, even if you were clean and sober, and on the couch, he would yell at you. Because he is stressed and we take out our stresses on our loved ones.... It just feels so personal right now, and it is, but it truly feels so much harsher because we are in such an emotional state. And, he has never been here and cannot possibly understand.

Remember, this is your fight. Yes, they can love us, support us or not, but in the end the fight is ours. Stay strong, easy for me to say right, jeez I have been an absolute diseaster for 6 days!!! lol But, I have learned soooo much in these 6 days!! Feel, allow yourself to feel. The pills numb us, and feelings become triggors....nope, not anymore. I am gonna let myself feel, the good and the bad. Let him be an a-hole. You will get through this...you have too, there are no options. Cry, jeez think I have cried 1/2 the day even today. So what.....we are feeling again! Yippeee for us!!!

Post....god that has what has saved me. You are loved, and you are supported from people A LOT more wise and educated in this department than your hubby anyway..what does he know! lol

We got this girl...moment by moment. If you can do this at tax time....life after will be a breeze! lol JK Then the fight to STAY clean is on. But, NO TAXES!!!

LOTS OF LOVE AND SUPPORT:))))))

[0421]

glad to see you back and ok, I mean the driving because sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just get in the car and drive right into a tree. My brother commited suicide so I won't do it because all of my family had so many regrets. My husband had just died and I was not around him and my sister was with me trying to help me get a house ready to sell and she was not around either. He had horrible pain and was on all kinds of meds, they amputated his leg right after my husband died and I think he paniced as my husband was young and always helped him, so I was  worried about you, love your babies the best you can but take care of yourself. boy sounds like that was more about me than you, thanks for letting me talk

[dedicatedtostop]

Your comment.. U don't know how I feel so don't tell me what to get up and do is EXACTLY how I feel.. To all you will never ever ever know what your support means to me. Drove 30 miles to my parents and actually got a very sincere email from him. He told me how proud of me he is and that he is so sorry I feel bad... Also said it makes him even more proud that I am doing this now( every april is torture for us because he is an accountant that specializes in off shore accounts, hedgefunds ect. Made a positive statement that in 3 weeks it will be over.

So anyway I am still tearful just in reading everyone of your post because your all strangers... Yet make me feel so loved.... I get goosebumps reading them and I read every post over and over. God bless each and every single one of u, u have all touched another persons life in a way u will never know:(

[hiskidd]

Tell him you can file an extension on your taxes easy. I'm a husband, and I'm sorry that I know all too well how insensitive men can be. Actually, it's just plain human nature to be selfish, but it is possible to be selfless when we need to be so that is no excuse.

Don't try to jump through hoops. Just do what you can do. Most of all, just get better. CHOOSE to not stress over his comments. You know he loves you and he probably is, or will soon, regret the comments.

Be encouraged! This too shall pass.

[dominosarah]

Dont let him get you down.  You are doing your best and that is all you can do.  It's not your problem he cant get his work done.  That is something he needs to deal with.  Blaming you wont get that accomplished.  Focus on you and continue to do what you need to do to stay in your recovery.  Your emotions will be all over the place right now and that is okay.  Let yourself feel them.  Sending a hug your way~~~sara

[dedicatedtostop]

Every single post I read brings on the major waterworks!! I wish I could go walk but it is too cold here for my girls. I have no idea where we are going but we are getting in the car and driving... A little fresh air I guess

[sudie58]

oh bless you, your doing really well, i know how raw we feel at these times and the last thing you need is someone yelling at you, we know you are doing your best!  just try and let his rants go over your head, and not get to you, i used to "sing in my head" when hubby was moaning at me, still do,lol, sending a great big hug!!! god bless

[0421]

Don't let him taking away one moment of your succsess, I am lucky my husband tries to help,
he does not always know how, but some of the time there is nothing to do but be there. I am sorry that you have to be  going trough this and take care of others. My son and his wife are upset with me because I told them I couldn't deal with taking care of my 4 yr old grandson, but my husband and my sister are incourging me. If you have not walked in my shoes (pain) don't tell me  how or when to get up. I never beleived I  would be encourging someone else. I was just looking for someone to help me yesterday but it feels so good to say here is my hug and we will get through it together.

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

I'm glad you could get a little relief from leg cramps.  Interesting sleep technique. I thought mine was kinda unique.. Been sleeping with a Homemedic muscle massager leaning on my lower back. TEENA

[dedicatedtostop]

Thanks guys...... I just cried my eyes out.. For anyone that read my post yesterday in regards the the April 15th tax deadline... well this is all why.

I feel like i am doing so good. But I just got screamed at by him.. stating.. I cant get my work done.. This does not give you a free ride to sit your a** on the couch. Get up and interact more with your children... suck it up, you might feel bad but its not a free ride to sit around and get up and around at your conviance.. I swear guys I am doing the BEST i can and I really thought I was doing good. I tried to explain to him that I am doing this for our family... He just dont get it. And I am not just laying around I am up playing w my girls... I guess it is just not good enough.. Here come the water works again because I do not know what else I can do... He is now critizing me being on the computer... After I have explained the importance and impact this site has on me right now. :( :(

[0421]

I know what crying is all about but when I do let myself cry I feel a release of stress. I am on my way again but this time I will not use just one to get me through the night. I found out that one made me feel like day one again. Last night I slept pretty good, I am the one that thought my leg cramps where sending me over the edge!  I thought I would say how I slept just in case in helps anyone else. I laid on the floor with my legs up on the couch, small pillow under my head and the heating blanket on me. Sounds crazzy but it helped with the legs. I slept 4 hours and then moved up on the couch with my legs up on three pillows and slept a couple more hours,much better than taking the one almighty pill!! I  have a sore back a little today but I feel better about myself and the legs no to bad. Another day closer to freedom from watching the clock for the next pill. Thanks for letting me talk!!

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

Hey here's a hug and I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been off methadone for 19 days and have spent probably 1/3 of the time in tears.  Emotionally up n down.But keep telling yourself this will pass. Its getting a little clearer ever day. Definately HUG your kids, mine are sick of me huggin them but I do it anyway! GOOD LUCK, TEENA

[dwbson]

Hi Dear,
I had the crying moments too. Go ahead and cry your eyes out. It's ok. This is a journey of strength. If it was easy, what would we learn and how would we grow. Also, keep this FACT with you on these days. Your brain has been denied even stopped making endorphins by the drugs. On these days your brain is working to heal itself. It makes some adjustments and maybe a bit of endorphins, so you'll have an ok day. Then your brain starts healing again and here comes the tears. I promise you the tears slowly go away, then followed by some depressed feelings on some days, then they get better. Rejoice during these times that your brain is healing and will come to a place of restoration. Every day you conquer is one day closer to freedom. Today is better than yesterday and tomorrow will be even better. I can't stress this enough... Walk, walk, walk!! Exercise stimulates your brain to create the endorphins faster. I sometimes walked a mile in the morning and one in the afternoon. Sometimes running because it released all my frustration of the withdrawals. When you feel down, go walk. It keeps you from dwelling on it. While walking tell yourself like a mantra, my brain and body are healing and life is returning. It will pass. You will smile again. You will wake up and feel life again. I am only 25 days today and these things I'm saying are not just fluff. They have happened to me already. Wrap your arms around yourself as a big hug from me. You got this!!!

[atthebeach]

hugs,hugs,hugs to you. "HIS love endures forever", "He will never leave you or forsake you", "as the Father has loved me, so I have loved you, NOW remain in MY love", and now these three remain: faith,hope an love. but the greatest of these is love". good morning.
i think you see where i am going. you know where you can get love and encouragement. open the book of life. cling,cling, cling. i trust you will be in church tomorrow and everyday that the door is open. men are just not emotional beings, we are. if i was there i would hug you girl and tell you that you are so loved. please get  to counseling and talk to your pastor ask people to pray for you, it works. our family is proof of that. get yourself moving, go outside, do something fun today. you are loved.
God bless you
debbie

[laurel453]

And here you have a BIG HUG :)

hey, on these moments, hug your child or even your husband ( tell him that it is just for the sake of it ;)

our emotions are a lil bit wild for some time, right ? it is not easy for us... we want a hug and an hour later, we just want to be left alone and the next moment is another different emotions and it takes a toll on us... but hang in because you are walking forward for a better future ...