A little nervous

[luvabugga]

Tomorrow is my first appt. with the pm doc since I stopped the Norco 19 days ago, and he has no idea I stopped.  Little nervous about this.  I know he'll have a script in his hand when I walk through the door.  Not sure if I'm strong enough for this yet!

[overopiates]

i would say DONT RUN AWAY.U showed strength by refusing other meds.Go be honest tell him how long its been,ur done with opiates etc.I think u need to get n and say it first thing so u dnt have a script n ur hand1st.u can do this.

[Mintyfresh79]

Hi luvabugga, I just wanted to congrats on your clean time! I agree with the others to cancel your appt. I think the temptation might be too strong. It's almost like an alcoholic going to the bar with the plan to order a coke. I remember last Feb I went back to the doctor cause I was really depressed and needed help with it. Somehow I walked out with a script of 90 tylenol 3 , Prozac and flexirel. Once I had a taste after being clean for two months it was all over. I went through like 5 refills of T3 then I jumped back on vicodin. 2012 was supposed to be my year. I spent it high instead all because of one bad decision. I know feb this year will be a huge trigger for me.

Ok so here's my advice find a doctor that won't prescribe narcotics. Believe it or not there are doctors like that. Not trying to scare but just so you can see the severity of making the wrong decision. I wish you luck and if you do visit your normal doctor don't listen to those voices in your head to accept or take any narcotics. I know we need them from pain sometimes as I'm always in pain but I just can't control my usage. If I could then I'm sure that narcotics could improve the quality of my life but once you just take them to chase the high then it's no longer helping.

[Teresa1717]

I thought you were coming with ME to my Dr appt!! Psshhhtttt Overbooker!! :) hahaha

[YesLife4Me]

Gee... I better get to bed then... I have an early morning flight to catch to be on the East Coast at 8:30 am.   That's 5:30 am my time!   LOL!

[YesLife4Me]

Ok, so you are worrying about whether or not you will need pain meds sometime in the future.   You may or you may  not, but you can focus on 'right now'.   By telling the Dr you don't need or want them right now doesn't mean that they won't ever prescribe to you in the future should you need it.   You are just saying you would rather find other ways and exhaust all your resources first.  It's just a matter of how you look at it.  When we as addicts look at our whole lives, it can feel overwhelming.   That's why we need to live in the moment.  

[luvabugga]

You always know the right thing to say!

And don't forget my tickets to meet David Wright...lol!

[luvabugga]

Yes...NoLife4Me is coming with me...lol.  No really, I'm doing this on my own.  That's just how I am.  I have to be responsible for my own actions.

I do have Celebrex and Relafen.  I actually stopped taking that too.  Besides from hating the way I felt with the Norco, I had decided to stop taking everything including the anti-inflammatory.  I saw a health segment on the news saying that taking an anti-inflammatory constantly can actually stop the body from naturally healing.  I had been on everything for a year and a half and just wanted to see how I really felt without any meds.  So I just stopped everything.

I'm basically going to the appt. to get the rx for pt and to discuss the epidural procedure.  Still haven't made a firm decision yet if I'm going.

[bama88]

Do you have any celebrex on hand?? That way you can cancel the appointment and reschedule or findanother doctor. My worry is you'll.go get another supply of Norco and be back on them. Then you'll get mad at yourself and start the whole crazy process again. You know what I mean??

But look how concerned you are about this. Look how much better you feel. Your not in pain like you thought you'd be. That's a good thing. And you know what's the right thing to do.

If you feel you must go can you take someone with you??

Could you give someone the script of norcos and just fill the other meds?? Or better yet no norcos and just the other meds.

Addiction is hard. It's not easy at all. Especially now.
The longer we stay on the meds the harder detoxing becomes. And our lives will only deteroate more. There's nothing good about this disease. It's a tricky disease. No easy answers.

Do what's best for you.
Supporting you.

[Teresa1717]

If you find out you can't handle the pain later, THEN you cross that bridge! You just said that the pain is not as bad as you thought, so thats a good sign!

You're stronger than you give yourself credit for honey.  You turned down the hydromet so thats huge! :)

You're doing a good job! :) keep reaching out for strength though!

[Missshawn]

I made the appointments hen I went in and asked for a taper plan.. I didn't go,I had someone cancel it.. I have faith in you.. Get what u need and get out..lmbo

[luvabugga]

See that's the whole thing.  I don't want to take these for the rest of my life...at all!  And really that's why I stopped.  And my pain isn't as bad as I thought it would be...yet anyway.  Some days it's worse than others, but pt has really been helping with that.  Plus some other changes I made...like the way I sleep and my desk at work.  Right now I feel like I can totally live without pain meds...but what if I find out I can't??

[luvabugga]

He's treating me with Celebrex, Norco, anti-inflammatory topical gel and pt.  He would just hand me the script for Norco and say 'Don't take it if you don't need it'.  Yeah...ok.  Bye-bye...see you next month...call me!  And out the door I went!

He gave me Dilaudid one time when I was having a real bad few weeks.  I just happen to see an episode of Criminal Minds about it and was too afraid to take it.

I think I'm a little scared of everything.  If I tell him I don't want to take it anymore and then down the road I need it, I'm afraid he'll say 'crazy lady...go away'.  And then what?  But I'm also afraid if I get the script I'll fill it and take it.  I'm just afraid of everything I guess!!

[bama88]

I didn't mean to scare you. Just want you to be educated about this crazy disease. We've all been there. So don't be embarrassed. The ball is in your court. Your in charge of your actions. And listen to your heart. Not your brain. Lol.

What helped me the most is when I told myself I had two choices. To keep on taking the meds for life and see where that took me or to stop and see what happened.

I also told myself ill give myself six months or so to see if I really needed them. I couldn't handle the forever part in the beginning. But now I don't hurt. Pain was a big fear for me. How about you.

[YesLife4Me]

A good pain management Dr doesn't rely on opiate therapy but instead, getting to the root of the problem.   Are you more scared you won't be able to say no?   Or are you scared that they won't treat your condition if you don't take the pain meds?    

[luvabugga]

OK...now I'm just scared!!!  It's my pain management doctor.  It's how I started taking Norco for a back and neck problem.  It's the regular monthly appt.  Last month I got the script, but only took it for two weeks and then trashed them...and haven't taken them since.

Ugggghhhh...not liking any of this!

[bama88]

Your playing a dangerous game with yourself. Very very dangerous. And I'm worried for you. I had the same problem in the beginning of my road to recovery. I had to go to the doctor. Just had a major operation. And I thought I was strong enough to say no. Well I said no that day. But I later turned around and filled them. And well.....I went wild with my meds. I wasn't ready to stop. I wanted to believe I was in control of my meds. I'm a control freak. And most addicts are control freaks. And the fear of being embarrassed to admit I had aproblem was a major issue. Most people we are close to know we have a problem even if we can't see it or admitt it. So in reality all we are doing is fool ourselves. Now is the time to get really honest with yourself. Even if you don't want to. If you are sitting on the fence you'll eventually fall off. And if your not completely committed to sobriety your not completely ready.

Ask yourself is the temptation worth it. Do you really want to keep staying on the merry go round??

I don't want to sound like I'm coming down on you. I want you to be successful.

All of us have been where your at. Consider it a test. Dont stress too much over it.

And do you mind sharing what type of appointment it is??

Just want to help.

[luvabugga]

I thought about that, but of course I have the first appt.  I'd have to call from the parking lot as I'm walking in the door....and they'd probably think I was some kind of freak!  

I think I'm going to leave a message tonight and cancel it.

[YesLife4Me]

It really is amazing how much stronger our minds get the further away from wd and detox we get.   That's more clean time under our belt that we don't want to lose.  So I would say that yes it will help some.   But, our tricky addict minds are always looking for an opening.   I think the best thing you could do is to just tell your Dr before you get into anything else is that you have chosen not to use opiates for your pain control any longer and that you would like to discuss non narcotic options such as continuing your PT and the cervical procedure.  Your Dr will be more than happy to help you explore other options and be thrilled you have made the choice not to use the Norco.  

[ricart70]

You could make a phone call before the appointment explaining that you do not want narcotics or the temptation of the offer of them.That would solve it.

[luvabugga]

I eventually have to face this though no??  Will 2 weeks make that much of a difference?  I can't stop pt since it really is the only thing helping right now.

I think if I just keep thinking that I can't go back to the bad place I'll make it through it.

[YesLife4Me]

roflol!  

[selfinduced]

I'll be busy starching your sheets, but maybe nurse girl can go? All kidding aside. Please do not go. Finish your 2 weeks of PT and then discuss cervical epidural as the time gets closer and even then you'll need a saftey net not to get pills. Even at 8 months clean I was faced with meds in a neighbors house while cat sitting and almost caved. You won't believe the mind f--- that goes on in an addicts brain post pills.

[dominosarah]

Then tell him the truth that you are done with the pills as there are other ways to deal with pain.

[luvabugga]

Are you busy tomorrow at 8:30 am??  lol