Help I can't live with my wife doin this stuff anymore

[dominic82505]

Ok hers the down and dirty

I have been married for 7 years since shortly after I got with my wife I saw that she was acting strang and would go through these mood swings I figured that it was just who she was then i learned while she was pregnant with my first kid that she was taking her moms pain pills and dr. Hopping I was devistated and left her and went back home. I went back to her because she said that I miss understood the sevarity  and it sounded ligit. When my son was born he went thought withdraw and stopped breathing a few times they didn't know what he was doing that and said that it could be from the antidepressants that she was taking but I knew that it was from all the pills that she took but I was scared to say anything because I didn't was the doc to take my newborne kid. Shortly after that I went in to boot camp thinking that everything was all good I went on my first deployment thought that everything was ok ( I learned later that she was driving to la to get pills and buying them off a neighbor) came back kept seeing her high then my second deployment I thought everything was good till I cam back I watched her buy pills off someone then confronted her and was hood winked saying that it was nothing just a video game that she bought off him then before my third deployment she would sneak out of the house to get high and drunk and mess around with her girlfriend. While sitting in Afghanistan she tells me that said girl raped her. I said ok but allways had my questions  then I get the dear Johnny letter and phone call that she was sleeping with the video game pettller I get home and **** hits the fan she leaves with my kids sleeps with a few more guys then comes back and me being dumb I forgive her then later on I catch. Her with percocets  so she goes to the. Court house and says that I beat her and my kids (all of it would all be proven to be not true buy the multiple investigations that I went through ) moves to Florida starts sleeping with one guy and prostituting herself to another for pills then I forced her  to go to an impatient rehab where I had to get her out of my car then drove off and left her there  then she gets out and is still the piece of **** that that. I dropped off at rehab  


What do I do?????
Also durring this time she got cought steeling multiple times attempted suicide while preg with my other son

Sorry about the spelling and grammer I get so pissed when I talk about this stuff it's retarded  

[oneofthegoodones]

thank you for serving our country,  my heart is aching for you,  addiction is so horrible and for the childrens sake please get them removed from seeing their mothers behavior, be as honest as you can with them when the time is right, you are at war in your own home and heart, as a soldier you have to think of it as such,  she is very sick, and the disease of addiction takes prisoners, tortures and is merciless, my heart is truly aching for you, i pray you find your way without stepping on any land mines along the way, your anger and disappointment jumps off the page, you have every right to feel the way you feel,  but the kids need a healthy example to learn from, and they always need to know love is kind.  your valor is so appreciated by myself and my family,  you need a break!!! take care and i truly truly hope you can get through this.

[conhall]

I am so sorry about all you are going through and I hope this doesnt sound bad But you Must take the kids and get away from it all. I know you love her just have to to have gone through all this. But think about it this way. has she ever given you any reason to think that any of this behavior is ever going to change?  I am sorry If I am out of line But I would get an attorney and get my kids and leave her if your answer to my question is NO.

[Nighthawk61]

An addicts testimony in court doesn't hold much weight. Don't be afraid of her. Have faith that the truth shall prevail. Thank you for your service to your country.

[Nighthawk61]

Absolutely tell your counselor at work, like an abused woman needs proof from a hospital as to her abuse, you've got out from underneath her threats to your work, turn it around so there's no question as to who they will be standing up for in a court of law. (from an addict). You're kids have to be number 1.

[Pat1956100]

You need to talk to someone right away.  Either a lawyer or some type of counselor.  You must be feeling so overwhelmed and it's hard to make good decisions when you are feeling that way.  Please get some advice and find out what your options are.  There must be someone in the military who can advise you and help you.
You are concerned about her making up things to use against you so they can advise you on that too.
Pick up the phone and call your boss.  You need help and it's not your fault.

[dominic82505]

?

[dominic82505]

I am not sure what I wan to do but I need to do something cuz I can't live like this for to much longer

[dominosarah]

Please get those children out of there.  This is a very dangerous situation.  She will self destruct even more but you dont have to.  Do what is right here and get those kids out.

[mary577]

Divorce her.   Get a good lawyer.    Take the kids.  

[Life360_Dave]

What do you want to do? And what do you not want to do?

[el_em_en_oh]

Divorce her, take the children, and move on with your life (without her).

Until she hits her bottom, she's not going to do anything about her addiction. She is an addict, plain & simple, and the pills rule her life at the moment.

She has no place being the custodian of your children, so take them away from her, then remove yourself from the situation.

I think you know what you need to do...

(and if you're still deployed or active, I believe there are ways of getting out, if you can prove this type of hardship, which is for sure the case with you. get yourself out of active-duty, take the kids, leave her, start a new life. she's lost to you, sorry to say. i'm a recovering addict, and i hate to throw a fellow addict under the bus, but them's the facts)

~LMNO~

[dominic82505]

I am not sure I am only here for the kids. I am terrified to take her to court because of the last time  she took me to court I almost lost my job due to her lies  

[bama88]

Wow. You've got a lot of heavy thinking to do. What do you want to have happen??

[krissy326]

im lil ovr 90 days clean and as much as you have supported and tried to help I can only recommend to get your kids the HELL out of there and away from her!!! Weather you get divorced or not them babies deserve better. If she keeps getting police involved when you take them then go Walmart buy several over counter drug test and show the cops what you are dealing with. make her take one everyday and show her you cant believe anything she says! because truthfully you can not believe anything come out her mouth right now...if she is trying hurt herself then have her commited it will atleast get you some peace and they will help her try deal with addiction becuz the addiction is making her want to kill herself! i am really praying for you and while your serving our country it is our country duty to show you some help and support!!!

[dominic82505]

Since she has been out I rehab I have to fight with her to clean the house, be up with my kids in the morning I even have to fight with her to take showers. I have spent over 10k on the teeth that are rotting out of mouth and I still have to fight to get her to brush her teeth it's like she is a little kid.

[SbeccaRue]

as a recovering addict I will say you can either sit around and wait for her to change which willy ONLY happen when she hits rock bottom and realizes she can't do it anymore...gets sick and tired of being sick and tired! forcing her or giving her ultimaties won't do ANYTHING until she decides it won't matter. She loves you but when you have the devil or the monkey on your back you'll beg steal and borrow anything you have to do to get what you think you need! she doesn't want to..she might even wake up in the morning telling herself she isn't going to but that monkey starts pounding her in the top of her head with what feels like a hammer and she has no other option it becomes so regualer that she hardly thinks about what she's doing as she does it. she'll eventually hit rock bottom one way or another. So divorcee if you think that's best but she won't change until she's ready!

[Dirty_secret]

I agree!! Divorce her & go for full custody! You have tried to help her many times.. And while being deployed fighting for our country you are stressing about her & the safety of your kids.. Btw.. Thank you for your service to our country!!
  It sounds like she doesn't want the help & your kids need you!! If I were you I would definitely go for custody!! She can't be the Mom she needs to be if she is out prostituting herself for pills!  Maybe losing custody will make her wake up & want help!! She isn't going to change until she is off the pills.. It will only get worse because she will need more & more.. And the way she is getting the pills sounds VERY dangerous!!
I'm sorry for you having to go through this with your family!! Pills are the devil!! But the safety of the kids is the most important!! Good Luck!!

[hangetsu]

"What do I do?????"

I'd divorce her and petition for full custody of my kids. I've been married and divorced 3 times and filed each time, which doesn't make things any easier, but at some point you've got to say enough is enough. It doesn't look like she's going to change and you've already put up with more than I would have.

It's your life though and you've got to live it so it's your decision. Good luck.