ADVICE PLEASE

[red_1986]

Hello to you all Happy New Years to you all. I haven't been here in awhile, but I have managed to stay sober alomost 80 days knowing you are all here for support day or night when I need it the most, and for that thank you all. I have a serious problem with addiction and alcohlismin my family. My sister is 6 months pregnate, she has always been a cocaine/drug addict, I was always right there getting high with her. I am clean for me and my future not for anybody else. We don't speak much now I have had to set my boundries and stay away because she is still VERY active in her use (being 6 months pregnate). Well point being when we used together I was always there to catch her children when she would fall so to say. I litterly mean fall, when she would do to big of a shot of dope and drop in front of the babies. She recently got custody of the kids back after losing them to Children Service's in May, upon my release from treatment the first time. She is so strung out she left the babie's in the house alone to go find cocaine and the worthless father who supplies it to her, (which is why she lost custody the first time leaving them alone) They are 2 and 3 years old, Khyrah and Caiden. Well my point being she is slipping up bad, I thought she would have learned her lesson losing the only thng she has left to love til the day she dies. She weighs 120lbs (tops) and is 6 months pregnate her spine, ribs, collar bone, and cheek bones are all you can see I didn't even know her when I seen her, I couldn't believe that she looks as walking death, my heart is broke. I am leaving for traement again on the 14th of this month I will not going, thinking I will return home to bury my sissy I buried my 14 year old brother in 2004, It was the hardest damn thing I ever dealt with not a day goes by I don't think of the pain in my heart from losing him. MY QUESTION: I am thinking of calling children servies and her baby Dr. telling them the situation, she is so WEAK if she would have this baby she is carring it will KILL her, I feel she is going to KILL that baby inside her if not herself, she doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, she is neglecting them special babies that I love so much, and that she should to. I have been seen her strung out beyond control, but NEVER like this NEVER. I can't just leave her, I can't lose her, I wont let them babies lose the mother, watch her KILL herself, the mother they once knew, the mom they love so much. My heart is broke for them, and my sissy. She is with a man who tells her every day how much he hates her, how he wish he wasn't the father of her children, he pushed her down them steps knocked her out, while she is carring his baby, he keeps her so high and dry, he has ruined my sister now she is to the point of NO RETURN. Love is so blind. I have came to terms that she will HATE ME if I have her commited, turn her in, nark her out, how ever you want to say it. What choice do I have? Please somebody say something I can't stop crying my heart hurts so much, I would rather have died than let my brother who got killed feel once ounce of pain, I would die for her to I would do what ever I can for my sister but, she isn't my sister who I know and love she is evil and careless, I have never seen an addict in this form. I was a crack addict smoked for days, weeks spent every moment planning my next high, hurting every one I knew lying to myself, stealing, coniving, broke A** crackhead is what I was. I have no children but I don't understand how she can do this. Should I turn her in? Please HELP ME somebody.

[red_1986]

I will state the serinty prayer over and over I know it helps. I have no other choice do I? Sad to say I am going to have to risk her getting mad at me, small price to pay to see her alive and be the mother she once loved to be. I can pray for her forgiveness, and maybe when it is all said and and done God will have stepped in her life as he did mine. Honestly thank you all for responding so quickly any input is a blessing. I am going to get some rest I will keep you posted God Bless You all as well as your families.

[nandu1210]

trust me!! it will work out!!.and pray hard !!

[nandu1210]

hey red.. look readin from de above, i can understand hw u love ur sister so much. frankly, frm wat i have read, i think that u r not living for urself, but more rather for others... first and foremost, wat i wud like to say is dat, u must make ur life proper.. and i really mean it.. be patient, do some exercises, like yoga or meditation.. really it wil help. u r only 21.. u still have lots of life left in u... live for urself first.. its hard, but if u live for urself, then u will be def strong enough to handle others

[wait2long]

If this was my sister, i would do anything possible to save her, the baby and the 2 small children. and i think YES! that would mean turning her in...i wouldnt care if she hated me, she would be alive and the children would be too. i know, easier said then done. i am so sorry you are faced with this tough decision, but from reading your post, i think your mind is already made up to do the right thing, regardless of the way it may effect you. in your heart you know this may be the only way to get through to her, right now she is not there...all you see is the drugs, and she needs help in finding herself again, for her childrens sake.  and maybe it will open her eyes to the abuse she is putting up with from her husband and what her children are witnessing on a daily basis. it will take her getting clean and clear minded to ever see this, i am afraid if she is this far gone, she may never see the light on her own. she needs to be put into an inpatient rehab and quickly. she wont go willingly, but if a doctor is aware he can force this upon her and then DCYS will step in and she wont have a choice but to clean up her act, or she will lose her baby and children once again until she can again prove she got it together.
again i am so sorry for all you have suffered, but you say you still need help, well you still need to care for yourself too, do what you have to do to get the ball rolling for your sister, then take care of YOU!  best to you!!! keep us posted...GL hun!!!

[jesusfreak911]

Yes dear and I know that phone call may very well be the one thing that saves their lives and (praying) your sister too. You will ALL be in my thoughts and prayers.

[GoingToMakeIt]

You really don't owe her anything. If she were told would she run? Is it worth that risk? I would tell her later, but wait and see how things play out.

[jesusfreak911]

I don't believe I'd say anything to her. Can you just make an anonymous call? Kinda keep you out of the middle of it all.

[red_1986]

God grant us the serinty to except the things we can not change...
Courage to change the things we can...
              and
The Wisdom to know the difference
      Just for today!
                                      AMEN

[bandnmom]

First let me say I am so sorry. What a terrible situation. Those poor babies. I agree with what goingtomakeit said. For the sake of those poor babies you need to this. You don't want to be there one day saying to yourself"what if" when its to late. I'll pray for you and keep posting.

[red_1986]

I was thinking of telling her my plan do I owe at least that much to her

[jesusfreak911]

In the end it will be your decision.....
If it were me I'd have to intervene for the children's safety and the unborn child. They do not deserve her wreakless behavior. Even if you can't help her you can help those babies. I hope you find some peace while making your decision.

Jesusfreak

[GoingToMakeIt]

Welcome back. Wow, what a bad story. My heart ached for you and her kids just reading it. I normally don't like child services meddling. In this case You need to call them. Children's lives are at stake here. They need to know about her leaving them alone. They need to know she's using while pregnant. You owe it to them. You will be doing the right thing here.I'm praying for you & them.

[tee1972]

I understand where you're at and you do have to mak. e the right choice, TURN HER IN. At least she will be alive to be pissed at you . You are saving hres and those childrens lives. I wish there were more people like you in this world . Do it soon . TODAY, not tomorrow. She might do one last line that kills her tonight

God Bless

Keep us updated

[bandnmom]

Good luck to you and i'll be thinking of you. Remember she will be mad at first i'm sure but down the road she will thank you for saving her and her babies. She will see you were doing this out of love and love alone.

[notmenow!]

I emailed you but what I thought about the whole situation, and it lookd like the votes are in now gather the courage to do whats right-lol-NOAH

[GoingToMakeIt]

Good decision! You are doing what is right.

[red_1986]

I thank you all for your encouragement and giving me that reasurity that I have no other choice, I truly do not.  I want ot see her live and be the mother I know she CAN be. I will call Chidren Services, this being Saturday, I am going to search for an emergency number. I was so full of fear of what might happen to my sister and her children at any second, I can't even rest. With all the deaths I have had happen in my lfe I can't go through it again with my sister, or let the babies bury there moma. I will have to accept she will be so angry, but I will stand by her makes sure she has everything she needs in treatment and write her. I will show her I did because I love her so much and didn't want her children to feel the pain we felt as children watching our mother with needles in her arm, ambulance busting down the bathroom door, pulling her lifeless body out on a gurney. I will pray for the peace of my mind... I am going to do the next best thing.... Help Save My Sister. Once again I thank you all so much I will let you know how it goes, may your thoughts and prayers be with me in this difficult situation I can't ignore any longer.

[troubleinohio]

you definitely should turn her in, hard as that may be for you. Do you know how many times Ive turned on the news and hear about a house full of kids burning up because a  crack addicted parent left them alone to go buy some rock? It happens all the time sadly. Please make that call before something irrevocably horrible happens to those kids...goodluck to you and keep us updated

[GoingToMakeIt]

Touche' He needs to be stopped too.

[wannabclean241]

One more thing get a restraining order or whatever it takes to keep the so called man away. He is not a man. This piece of s@#*% needs to be gone if he is not willing to straighten up and take on his responsibilities. No one deserves to be treated that way.

[mshell62]

This sure makes me realize how fortunate I am.  I have NO PROBLEMS when I see something like that.

Bless your little heart, Red.  You are a wonderful sister.  Do this for those little innocent babies who have no say in the matter at this point.

Hugs

[wannabclean241]

I hate this situation u and ur sister are in and espicially the children. I don't know about ur state you live in but most states have a law that if u know of children being abused or neglected and this is definiely what is going on, you are required by law to report it sister or not.  She may get upset at first but if and when she gets well she will thank you. Once reported she will have to clean up in order to the children back. You can get yourself into trouble by not reporting it. This is also not good for your own situation so early in sobriety. Also the baby she is carrying now will at the very least will be born addicted if not worse. Including the danger to the mother. Your's makes my hydro addiction seen small in comparison. I love this forum I know it is going to help me get through my hydro addiction. My career and my life depend on it. Unfortunaltely I work in a fieled where I see many neglected children and adults as well. And yes I turn the children over to DSS ,they can't speak for themselves. I turn the adults over to adult protective healtcare, and they are very good about coming out. And as crazy as it is I see this and I allow myself to get messed up on the hydro. Although it happens in my line of work a lot more than you think. Everyone just hides it. Some time later when I have more time I will explain further. In the mean time do what you have to do. That is what is best for the children and your sister. lol. I suggest praying to ur higher power as u understand him, and I will pray for you.
I am still early in starting my recovery, but I had respond to your letter. I have seen it happen before and it can have terrible results if intervention is not taken.

[wait2long]

i am sorry to say, but no...there really is no other choice...GL to you and your family too!

[GoingToMakeIt]

You can't put others lives ahead of her not forgiving you. This is way bigger than that. Make the call, please.