Addiction a lifelong struggle

[stilltrying1965]

This has been a lifelong battle against drugs. Never did i think it would be this hard. Everytime i think im over the worst the b..ch rears her ugly head. Why is it so hard addiction it always seems to hit me hard. I think im winning my war and then it seems to put me back to square one. I now beleive addicton is lifelong struggle.  I hata the day i evere got involved with heroin. Do you think we fight addiction for the rest of our lives( I DO) After taking drugs so long its so hard to get those drugs out our heads and to try and live a normal life. I pray to god that this does not go on and on as i cant take much more of ths. Thanks for lisening a lot of times over the last 7 months iv felt like just giving up. But that would be stupid of me.  I feel worthless guilty for feeling like this. Now i feel like im living on the edge. I hate drugs so so much.  I must keep fighting my life depends on it . Plz god give me more strength i really do need it. I hurt so much for the things iv done to my family I beg forgivness,,,,,,,,James

[vicki595]

Hey handsome!!    I've found that we ( or I ) need to work EVERYDAY at keeping this monster away! Our thoughts should always be positive about being clean and staying that way.    It's great that you've turned to the forum for support!  Post more often!!

[avisg]

James,
Just as everyone else has said you really need to get into a long term recovery program because addiction and recovery has to be lifelong .It would be nice to say after a certain point you don't struggle anymore but it just doest work that way .You have to have a sold program.Life gets rough and you have to have all of the tools to deal with the bumps ,rocks and boulders that can come your way .You can do it ,don"t cheat yourself out of long term sobriety ...

[stilltrying1965]

Letakos you bring tears to my eyes tears of joy. You always seem to say the right things and make me feel better Thank you so much . much love to you my sister your brother ,,,,James

[10356]

Hi James. we are not use to dealing with our emotions our problems of everyday life just as we are not use to feeling the emotions that come with the stresses of everyday life.. usually this is what sets off a craving for me If I become too sensitive to my situation.. sitting back and running through the things I'm going through at the time helps to put things into perspective and understanding that a non addict would be feeling pretty much the same.. The meetings you had much success with when you were going it would not hurt to try it again.. as for addiction being a life long struggle Not everyday it gets easier when we have the support and frame of mind that lends to staying clean.. You know I could not be Prouder of someone for the 7 months you have under your belt In my books You Rock !! send my love to kim and in turn I send it too you.. letakos

[stilltrying1965]

You most probibly right Am i dealing with addiction or life ? Now you got me thinking
Mark your input is always interesting. Kim is doing great i would not know what to do without Kim Thanks guys ,,,,,James

[gnarly_1]

HEY James good to see you....dude you need to plug into aftercare and embrace it once you start with the program and stick with it this will get a lot ezer thats why we push so hard on here about it.....James you can white knuckle your sobriety or you can surrender to it and live in recovery its up to you but bro you been fighting this thing long enough its time to
work a program and stick with it...thats the best advise I got ....how is Kim these days ??
your friend Mark  

[IBKleen]

Hi, Good to see you.

We told you from day 1 that this is a life-long process. You can choose to make it a struggle, but you don't have to. I am not certain you are dealing with addiction or just dealing with life clean, which you did not do for 13 years, right?

Give yourself a break James, it will not happen all at once, or overnight. Slow down, take time for you and take one issue at a time.

Most of all, keep going forward.