Advice for detoxing at home / long term addiction

[Qbag]

I am at day 34 of being clean.   I had a 10 yr addiction to percs and oxy's that really started before I met my fiancé, but didn't become full blown dependence until a year or two later.   She said yes when i proposed 2 yrs ago but said she would not marry me until I was clean.  She also said I would never be able to get clean without going to a detox/recovery center because of my long term use.  In December I finally began to realize how much my addiction was hurting her and that she would not be in my life much longer if i didn't change.   I just wanted to share my story because I know people with long term addictions may feel more helpless to kick their habit than those with shorter term addictions, or those that are afraid they will have to check into a recovery center to get clean.

Ironically, i called my dealer and told him I wanted to get clean and needed his help.  He gave me for free 10 serequels for sleeping and 40 klonopins for anxiety.  Said he hated to lose a good customer but always supports anyone who wants to get clean.  My fiancé agreed to stay with me for the detox.  We agreed New Year's Day would be the day and would symbolize that 2013 would be the year we get our lives back to the way things were meant to be.

The detox was almost a non event.  Serequels literally knock you out for like 12-15 hrs.  My fiancé gave me 2 serequels a day and 3 klonopins a day for the first 5 days.   She would check my pulse and blood pressure throughout but mostly I just remember sleeping.   She warned me that she wouldnt hesitate to get me in the hospital if my heart rate or blood pressure got out of whack.  Note that I had tried to quit cold turkey the year before and after 30 hours I was curled in a ball on the floor telling my dealer to get in his car and come save me.   This time I wasn't awake for any of the tough withdrawal symptoms.  

At day 5-6 I was out of bed and could move about, but tired easily.  She reduced me to 2 klonopins a day.  By this time I started getting extreme lower back pain - the reason I started taking opioids in the first place.   My dealer gave me his prescription of muscle relaxers to help with the back pain.  

By day 14 my fiancé had me down to 1/2 klonopin per day.  I was feeling much better, eating much better, but my back hurt and I still wasn't sleeping good and still tired easily.   My dealer brought me a supply of trazadone, which is a non-addictive sleep medicine.  I was also sneezing 150+ times per day, which I read was a post acute withdrawal syndrome (paws).

By day 21 I decided I would start working out again. I used to be in great shape but 10 yrs of addiction left me weak and 20 lbs under weight.   I had bought The Rack the year before but never bothered to use it.   The rack system is like a 20-25 minute high intensity full body workout (no resting so it is like cardio and strength training in one workout).  This was the turning point for me.  I work out at night.  By the third straight day of working out my back pain was barely noticeable and easily handled with Advil, I was barely sneezing (maybe 5 times a day) and I was finally able to sleep without the trazadone.  

So I would definitely recommend exercising as soon as possible. I read that exercising releases chemicals in your brain that reduce pain and anxiety and stress along with a lot of other benefits.   Your brain will take a while to heal and function normally - I've heard everything from 1-3 mos to 1 mo for every 1 yr of use.   I think exercise is a key to speeding up the healing of your brain since it forces your brain to produce the chemicals that opioid use had long suppressed.

Also make sure you eat well and often.  Don't skip breakfast, lunch or dinner.  Have healthy snacks in between.  Avoid sugary snacks.  What you eat fuels your brain.  And since you want to speed the healing of your brain it only makes sense to eat right.  My fiancé makes sure I am eating right every day.  I have not had any headaches, my energy seems to improve each day and I have not had any cravings.

I also talk every day with my fiancé about how I am doing.  Having someone to talk to really helps. I realized how easy it was for me to ignore her when I was doped up and only cared about myself.  Now we talk about everything and she is so funny that I always feel better afterwards.  

So 34 days clean, taking no meds at all except occasional Advil, and I can't recall having any real cravings in that time.  My head is clear and I haven't felt better about myself in 10+ yrs.  I know i wont feel completely out of the woods until i have been clean for 3-6 mos, but in my heart of hearts i know i will never touch another opioid as long as I live.  No matter how long you have used you can get clean and get your life back.  You can do it in the privacy of your own home but I would make sure you have someone there to take care of you.  I was lucky to have a dealer who willingly provided me with basically the same meds you would get at a detox center and a wonderful fiancé to take care of me and give me the meds and wean me off them so I didn't have access to them and couldn't get another addiction (klonopins can be addicting too).   Also, I did call the local detox / recovery center in December so I knew I was following a detox program at home that wasn't all that different from what I would pay for there.  They also had suboxone treatment but for anyone considering this... the 3 counselors I talked to all recommended against it.  They said you can either choose to get completely clean or you can trade an opioid addiction for a suboxone addiction.  

I don't know if this story will help anyone but I decided to write the kind of story I was searching for back in December when I decided to quit and started reading the forums in search of people who quit after having a long term addiction.  

[bama88]

Love love loved it. You rock. And remember to keep moving forward and keep your guard up. I needed something positive to day.

[Overwhelmed10]

What an uplifting story!  Awesome!  Thanks for taking the time to post.  I'm in early stages of this and I needed to read this.  Congrats.  :)

[killerzoey]

I'm touched reading your story. How wonderful that your fiancé and even your dealer support you in getting clean. Congratulation to you, well done. Here's to a great 2013 for you and her :)

[BarbRTR]

I just wanted to chime in and say congrats on your clean time. I'm a day behind you.
It's so wonderful you have such a loving fiancé to help you through this.
Make sure you choose an open meeting if she's going with you.
It's so nice to hear success stories. You're right, you still have a lot of fighting to do, but you are on the right track!
It's time for me to do aftercare as well.
Thanks for sharing.

[Qbag]

Thanks for your support.   My fiancé brought up going to meetings last week.  She found some local meetings and we agreed to go to one this week.  She said she would go weekly with me if I wanted her to, but she thinks I should go weekly for at least 3 mos.  She has put up with so much crap from me I am so lucky she is by my side and supporting me.  

[Bkitty]

Hi and Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story! It was refreshing to read.Have you thought about adding NA to your recovery? It is a lifesaver,,at least for me. Sometimes I need to be around others who know exactly what I am feeling. Great Job ((hugs))