Am I addicted?

[BreakerByte]

Hi,
I have a kidney disease and have been taking percocet for awhile now, maybe a year and a half. I started with 1 a day, then went to 2 a day, Now I am where I take 3 at once, then 2 later on. I have chronic pain, that is unmanageable with the majority of the available pain killers. My doctor prescribed me ultram to take when the pain isnt as severe, but it does nothing for the pain and only makes me nauseous. The doctor seems perfectly fine with upping my dosage, but I am starting to worry about addiction. She [my doctor] tried to put me on Oxycotin, but I turned it down for fear of addiction.

The reasons I think Im addicted : I get headaches, nausea, and a general feeling a malaise when I choose not to take the pills. My ability to stop taking the pills for a day or two is still intact, but after about 36 hours I have peripheral hallucinations, I see either blotches, bugs or faces very often. Another problem when i stop taking them is fear. Aside from the seeing things I am generally paranoid, anxious, and sometimes hear things.

Please let me know what I should do. Im afraid to tell my doctor because the pain is so unbearable off the meds that I cannot function.

Thanks,
BB

[BreakerByte]

I month ago I wasent having any flank pain so I stopped the medication for about 7 days, no vomiting, no headaches, no nausea, nothing. I have the will to stop, just do not know if I am addicted, and need help,. I have to have the pain meds, either way.


Thanks

[TrayCee]

After a year and a half you would be physically addicted

ditto

[BreakerByte]

I don't ever get a 'high' type of feeling, I think Im addicted to the lack of pain. If I do not take more, then the pain goes up. I havent taken them since yesterday at around 11am, and now the debilitating flank pain makes the nausea and headaches easy to deal with (not sure if its a good thing, but at least I am not vomiting). No hallucinations yet, happy about that part.

I do take more than prescribed, I am instructed to take as many (under maximum) as I need for pain, my bottle says 1-2 every four hours as needed for pain. 12 a day is my prescription, I refuse to take more than 4-6 a day.

Thanks for the responses, its good to have a place where questions as these, can be asked freely without persecution.

[LivingPresent]

You really are in a tight spot man, I feel for you. There is a difference between addition and dependency, in my opinion. Maybe it's only semantics, but I can become dependant on afrin for example, or coffee. I don't think about coffee all the time and I don't think about afrin either, but my body sure tells me when I don't have enough...stuffy nose and groggy head. My addictions on the other hand told me constantly that I needed the drugs/booze/sex/whatever. I would wake up (or come to) completely sober and the first thing I though about was how I was gonna get my fix. I guess the question I would ask is do you have a mental obsession surrounding the percocet?

I think that is really the difference, the physical symptoms of dependency, versus the mental obsession of addiction. I guess that doesnt really help you. You are looking for an answer, not a definition. I completely agree with grizzy32. Talk to your doctor. Tell the doctor about your symptoms and fears. If she blows it off you can and should get a second opinion. Maybe she can refer you to a pain management specialist?

For what it's worth, I have had tremendous success with acupressure. I used to suffer from migraines frequently, and once I learned how to use acupressure on them I have not needed to take any meds for that issue. I don't know if there is anything acupressure can do for your pain, but I would be investigating every avenue. Good luck.

[liscamdave]

You are physically addicted as Giz said. Are you taking more then is prescribed. And are you taking it for the high or because you are not feeling the pain relief? There is a big difference. I am with Giz, talk to your dr. Good luck.

[gizzy32]

After a year and a half you would be physically addicted which means that when you stop taking them, you will go through withdrawls for sure. Tolerance does build after taking any drug for awhile and you have upped your dose now. It sounds like your in a tough bind here because of the pain. Can your dr help in any way other than giving you the oxy's? Although you said your afraid to talk to her, it's probably a good idea to be honest and see if something can be done. There is also a pain management forum here too, that could be helpful also. Good luck.