Aa
Am I addicted?
New here, I have a complicated question and anyone out there with info about this would be greatly appreciated! I have been taking OCs for about 6 months now. Never have taken opiods before that. I started out at a pretty high dose for an intolerant person (30mg/day) and ONLY 6 months later, I was up to 300mg!!!! Anyway, I have never tried to quit until about 2 weeks ago. It was so easy to get these meds as I have a friend who gets a 90 script a month and only takes 2 or 3 (80mg pills)! He would just give me what he had left over and I would self-medicate for my back problems (My back problems are another story in itself). I have had flat feet my entire life and it had started to affect my back when I was 15 & 16. When I would go see the Dr, he would just tell me that I was fine and give me flexeril and Skelaxin to help with muscle issues. Each Dr. I've been to has treated me the same way saying it is all muscle related when I know I am in so much pain and those muscle relaxers don't help. I've even been transferred to a chiropractor to see if that helped. It felt soooooo good when he would first crack my back, but as soon as I bent down to get into the car, It would go back to the same excrutiating pain! After a year of that, I figured out that it would never work and that no Dr. would ever help me live a normal life. So, 6 months ago I had a tooth worked on and the Dr. gave me Lortab to help with the pain. I took them and realized that It helped not only my tooth pain, but to an extent, my back pain as well. So I remembered my friend that was taking OC's and how he had offered them to me one day when I could barely walk, but I never accepted before because I was scared of them. So I went to his house and he gave me about 2 months worth of his (almost 180 OC's!) and I started taking how much ever it took to keep me going for that day. Needless to say, It did not take me long to build up a tolerance as I was taking them not only for pain, but also because they made me feel good and I could really interact with people better. Here 6 months later, I began to realize that I had to come off of these NOW! before it became any worse. I tried tapering (that was a joke), I tried CT and went into the worst withdraws ever. So I decided to see about getting suboxone to help until I could comfortably come down. Well, about a week ago, I got my suboxone and waited 15 hours before taking it. I was very uncomfortable after those 15 hours, but I was able to take the suboxone with no problems. So I was doing good for like 4 days when all of a sudden, I felt like I just had to take an OC, so I did. The suboxone blocked most of the effects, but I did get a little buzz. I waited till the next morning (yesterday morning) and took another one (80mg) and felt way better this time. I took another 1/2 at around 3pm (yesterday) and then last night at 9pm, i took 4, 10mg norco's and was going to wait until this morning until I was in much discomfort before going back on the suboxone. Here is the problem, at this moment, 15 hours later, I still feel great and am not going through any w/d's!?!? I don't understand? In the past, I always start to feel uncomfortable around 6 hours after I take the OC's and in pretty bad withdraws after 10-12 hours, and here it is 15 hours after I have taken the norco's and I have 0 w/d symptoms? Maybe I wasn't addicted after all? or maybe I should just wait a little longer? Either way, I am not going to take the suboxone until I feel pretty sick. WOW this turned out to be a way longer post than I expected. Sorry for explaining everything, but I just felt like maybe any info would be helpful for people to give me advice in any area. Thanks for listening! By the way, for the last 2 months I have been snorting these after I found online that it works faster and stronger- just in case anyone needs this info to give advice.
Ok, so it's been 5 full days since I last used and 4 days since I started taking Suboxone. WOW! The difference a few days can make. I already feel like I did before I started using. This is a HUGE step for me. I still have cravings, but to know that if I do use, I can't get high, is really helpful. As long as I have a "strong moment" every day and take the sub, then I know I will stay clean. I think that the quick taper is prolly a bad idea because if I come off this too quickly, I don't know if I will have the will-power to stay away from the other stuff. I imagine that I will be on this for a couple of months. Maybe take some vacation time when I am ready and just suffer the Suboxone withdraws. Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. It's nice to see people who try to help others even when there is nothing in it for them.
Sorry Vicki, I really tried hard to go without the subs, but I started feeling bad around 3:30 am this morning and when I got to work I just couldn't function properly so I did take 2 mg of sub. It made me feel 150% better in like 20 min or so. I have decided to only take it if I start feeling sick. If I go this route, it seems to me that I should never get addicted to the subs and should be able to come off it very easily. I do have a backup plan though; I have a vacation coming up in about 45 days in which I have made no plans of doing anything during that time. If I see that I cannot comfortably come off the subs by then, I will use that whole week to detox from it. Does this plan sound ok? Is there anything that I should know about what I want to do before I do this? I did mention to my dr that I was probably going to take just the minimum amount of subs to get through and she was kinda upset at me and said that she could not treat me unless I follow her orders. ( I think that it is more about getting my money but I could be wrong). I agreed that I would follow what she says which at this point it looks like she wants me to take this for a year and then slowly taper off. I said ok but I'm not gonna do that because I'm too scared about becoming addicted to these. Any comments, concerns or questions about what I'm trying here? Am I doing the right thing here or am I just overly paranoid about being on these subs? Thanx in advance for your responses!!
I noticed in your origional post that you took an OC. After you took the first you took another, and then more. That is addictive behavior. Once we take the first one or addiction fires right up and starts running the show. Please understand that just because there are no WD's doesn't mean you aren't an addict. It means that you are an addict that isn't having WDs. Be gratful that you aren't having them.
Yes & No. The Dr. put me on suboxone for 6 months to 1 year but I took an OC on the 5th day & 6th day. I've now decided that I am sticking with the suboxone (because they really worked very well & I was an idiot for going back to oxy).
So you were at 300 mg of Oxy quit, then they put you on subs at 24 mg a day for 4 days?
Truthfully, it's really hard to say but I'll try. First,I appreciate the fact that you're willing to give it a go.
You got up to a high daily dose but you've tapered a bit and only used for 6 months. That's not a long time,in my opinion.
By tomorrow,you may begin to feel punk. It's hard to know. Be sure you have things to take,especially IMMODIUM. It's your best friend. It contains an opiate so use it! (The opiate does not cross the blood/brain barrier but really works for withdrawl symptoms.)
Drink plenty of water and gatorade. Nyquil without the decongestant works for a lot of people. Take it at bedtime with Melatonin 3 caps to start.
Keep posting here as to how you're doing. The forum never sleeps...
You got up to a high daily dose but you've tapered a bit and only used for 6 months. That's not a long time,in my opinion.
By tomorrow,you may begin to feel punk. It's hard to know. Be sure you have things to take,especially IMMODIUM. It's your best friend. It contains an opiate so use it! (The opiate does not cross the blood/brain barrier but really works for withdrawl symptoms.)
Drink plenty of water and gatorade. Nyquil without the decongestant works for a lot of people. Take it at bedtime with Melatonin 3 caps to start.
Keep posting here as to how you're doing. The forum never sleeps...
24 mg of Sub a day is a ton.
you will feel like your on your death bed for a week if you CT that.
How long were you on the Sub?
you will feel like your on your death bed for a week if you CT that.
How long were you on the Sub?
With my job, I cannot - absolutely CANNOT - take any personal days. I work 9 months out of the year and am off the whole summer (I wish I would have done this during my break!)! If I don't get too sick while at work then i'll give it a go and see if I can just not take anything from here on out, but if the withdraws are still on their way, and if it is anything like it was last time, I won't be able to quit CT and still function at work. Thanks for the advice. I will try to hold out as long as I can and keep you guys posted as to how I am doing. Does anyone know how long I could expect withdraws at the dosage I was at?
Okay...what some of us having been trying to tell you is that the Sub is DELAYING any withdrawals. They will arrive I'm sure. You've got that now...
My personal opinion is this: If you get to day three,just keep going WITHOUT the Sub.
Just push through and by day five you'll feel much better about the whole situation. Give it a try. Sub definitely has it's place and has saved many...BUT...it has it's own set of withdrawals and problems. Weigh it out carefully.
Good luck!
My personal opinion is this: If you get to day three,just keep going WITHOUT the Sub.
Just push through and by day five you'll feel much better about the whole situation. Give it a try. Sub definitely has it's place and has saved many...BUT...it has it's own set of withdrawals and problems. Weigh it out carefully.
Good luck!
Ok, I know I should follow my Doctors prescription and take 24mg/day and that you guys aren't allowed to give any advice on a taper schedule, but I am wondering now.....since the suboxone has lasted this long (going on 2 1/2 days) I'm thinking about taking only 2mg at a time when I need it (intense cravings) and this way I should be able to quit this med as soon as possible as well. DON"T WORRY THOUGH. I will still continue my therapy and going to the NA meetings. They have helped so much and I would even go as far to say that I recommend them to anyone even if they are not an addict! If I had somehow became involved with AA or NA before my addiction, then I most certainly would have never started this in the first place. But I did mess up and there is a reason God has sent me down this road... maybe to help someone in the future that is struggling with the same things. I have never been religious in my life, but here recently I have been more open minded instead of thinking in this little box that the world considers "reality". I have become aware that there more than likely is some being who has created me and has a special purpose for me. I must now find and fulfill that purpose....that is what is keeping me going
COMMUNITY LEADER
As long as you keep trying you will never fail~~~~Do whatever it takes to make you the No.1 priority. You are worth it~~~sara
Oh that makes sense! the suboxone is still in my system! I can't believe I didn't think of that! Thanks for all the help guys. This is my third attempt at quitting. First time I tried to taper.... Failed. Second time tried to CT.....Failed. This time I decided to seek help and I failed two days ago, but I am not giving up! Believe me, I have tried to think of every possible way that I could get my hands on OCs and have removed those methods. I can honestly say that I don't believe that I could go back now even if I wanted to. Thanks for all the quick replies!
Hun, No body here is trying to attack you or be rude, Sometimes it is just tough love!! Yes, we all mess up and it is about not over thinking things and just doing what you need to do to get clean. If it were not for certain people on this forum (I won't mention names, but you know who you are) I would never have jumped ship and got clean. Keep us posted and do not over complicate things by over thinking things. It is what it is!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
You probably havent felt the wd's yet due to Subs long half life.
Yes many of us have made mistakes and learned from them. Sounds like you have done the same. Continue on your path of recovery. Keep us posted on how you are doing. sara
Yes many of us have made mistakes and learned from them. Sounds like you have done the same. Continue on your path of recovery. Keep us posted on how you are doing. sara
Most of the people here or anyone with addiction have failed more times then you have...:)
If this is your first time...try hard.
if not..don't feel bad....99 percent of people fail the first time.
your doing great.
If this is your first time...try hard.
if not..don't feel bad....99 percent of people fail the first time.
your doing great.
Getting defensive is a sure sign of addiction. We are commenting on things as we see it. Remember, we have been there, done that. No one here is trying to make you feel bad.
From what I read, you need to be more honest about your behavior and inner attitude about addiction. You last response, is case in point.
You are not experiencing withdrawals because the sub is probably still in your system.
From what I read, you need to be more honest about your behavior and inner attitude about addiction. You last response, is case in point.
You are not experiencing withdrawals because the sub is probably still in your system.
Ok, maybe people aren't reading my full posts or something? I KNOW I MADE A MISTAKE! I HAVE FIXED IT AND MOVED ON ALREADY! I'm ready to do this the right way. I'm just wondering why I have not went into any kind of withdraws yet now 16 hours after? This is definitely not normal for me. Anyone else experience this? I have removed the OXYs and NORCOs from my life completely and have no possible way of turning back at this point. I can only go forward. I made a mistake, but so have so many others who have overcome this. I am simply asking why I have not had withdraws yet?
Long story short, you are exhibiting addict behavior. Just because you are not going through WD does not mean your not addicted physically or psychologically. Why are you taking other peoples medications with your Sub? Please get help and i really think right now you are in the denial phase. We are all here for you and will help you along the way if that is what you want? Good Luck!!
The reason you are probably not in withdrawals yet is because of the subs long half life. Its half life is around 36 hours. It builds up in your system. So lets say you took a total of 8mgs of sub yesterday. 36 hours later you would still have 4 mgs of sub in your system. If you then took another 8 mgs of sub you would now have 12 mgs total of sub in your system. Usually withdrawals from sub will start 3 or 4 days after your last dose. Even a very small amount of sub, say 2mgs, will prevent most withdrawals.
It does not sound like you are ready to get clean. Most people start suboxone because they had failed numerous times trying to taper or going cold turkey. It's not just some magic pill. You have to want it and you have to do the work to keep from using. If you are still feeling the urge to abuse other pills you may need to talk to your doctor about adjusting your dose. The way you keep switching back and forth is pointless. The sub is going to block most of the effects. You have to be careful or else you are gonna end up throwing yourself in to precipitated withdrawals.
You may want to put the sub down until you are truly ready to get and stay clean. Have you talked to your doctor or counselor about how you have been switching back and forth? You really need to get it out on the table. Also in a sub program they will usually drug test you every now and then. If you come up positive for other substances they can and will kick you out of the program and that often leads right back to the hectic life of abusing pills.
Once last thing, you asked if you were addicted or not. Addiction doesn't just have to do with whether or not you have withdrawals. Only you know if you are an addict or not but if you were taking them to make you feel better mentally then you are an addict. If you weren't an addict you would be switching back and forth between sub and the other pills. You would have the willpower to stay away from them. As addicts we have no willpower when it comes to not using.
Do yourself a favor and talk to your doctor and counselor about what has been going on. They are there to help.
Brian
It does not sound like you are ready to get clean. Most people start suboxone because they had failed numerous times trying to taper or going cold turkey. It's not just some magic pill. You have to want it and you have to do the work to keep from using. If you are still feeling the urge to abuse other pills you may need to talk to your doctor about adjusting your dose. The way you keep switching back and forth is pointless. The sub is going to block most of the effects. You have to be careful or else you are gonna end up throwing yourself in to precipitated withdrawals.
You may want to put the sub down until you are truly ready to get and stay clean. Have you talked to your doctor or counselor about how you have been switching back and forth? You really need to get it out on the table. Also in a sub program they will usually drug test you every now and then. If you come up positive for other substances they can and will kick you out of the program and that often leads right back to the hectic life of abusing pills.
Once last thing, you asked if you were addicted or not. Addiction doesn't just have to do with whether or not you have withdrawals. Only you know if you are an addict or not but if you were taking them to make you feel better mentally then you are an addict. If you weren't an addict you would be switching back and forth between sub and the other pills. You would have the willpower to stay away from them. As addicts we have no willpower when it comes to not using.
Do yourself a favor and talk to your doctor and counselor about what has been going on. They are there to help.
Brian
Here's what I think: Stay on this path !! Go to the meetings and get support. Don't go back to the Sub. You will probably start withdrawal soon (Sub has a long half life) so just push through!!
In my opinion,you don't need more OPIATES to get off the ones you are abusing.
In my opinion,you don't need more OPIATES to get off the ones you are abusing.
Suboxone is used so that you can establish a clean living life style.
What do you think you are doing by taking OxyS?!!!!!!!!
My read on you is that you are acting unwisely. Until you are honest with yourself about your addiction. You will continue on this course.
Never treat addiction lightly. It WILL bite you.
Having said that, do some soul seeking. You can overcome this addiction. It is worth it.
What do you think you are doing by taking OxyS?!!!!!!!!
My read on you is that you are acting unwisely. Until you are honest with yourself about your addiction. You will continue on this course.
Never treat addiction lightly. It WILL bite you.
Having said that, do some soul seeking. You can overcome this addiction. It is worth it.
Yes I am on a counseling program 4 times a week NA meetings. It's not that I wasn't serious about getting clean, I am still going to follow through with my program, I just had a bad judgment call 2 days ago and have already gotten rid of the temptation (OC's) and told my friend not to give them to me, so now I have no other choice but to do this the right way as I never have and never will buy from the street....I don't even know where I would go to buy off the street as I don't know a single drug dealer! I have been attending all meetings and doing all the right things but I don't understand why I am not in withdraws at this point? Usually I would be ready to puke by now, but there is just nothing?! Am I still addicted? If I don't have any symptoms of w/d and for some magical reason I don't get any withdraws, I will continue the counseling/NA program that I started last week. It IS really helping me even-though I did stumble a few days ago, I will get back up and follow this through.
When you started the Suboxone program, what was your intention? Did the doctor start you on a counseling program as well? I ask this because it doesn't seem that you are doing the program correctly nor does it seem that you really want to get clean. Just taking the pill is not going to do it.
You are playing with fire and I am concerned for you.
You are playing with fire and I am concerned for you.
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