Aa
Am I addicted?
This is the first time I have admitted to anyone let alone myself I might have a problem.
I started having panic attacks over a year ago due to a divorce, job change, move etc. My dr. prescribed Diazapham. It worked. But I also drink as well, probably 3-4 glasses of wine a night. I am now seeing a social worker and have an appointment with a psychatrist this week for meds. They currently put me on Prozac, which I can't take, makes me have terrible anxiety, tremors, sweats etc. Stopped taking at at once. I am also taking Zanax. 5mg once a day. It makes the panic subside but not for as long of periods of time as it did before. I am worried that the jitters I get are alcohol related as well. Is combining the 2 at such a low dose truly dangerous and how do I just stop drinking? I want to be able to have a glass of wine with friends but not every night.
Any suggestions? I am in a very lonely place right now and would appreciate the help.
I started having panic attacks over a year ago due to a divorce, job change, move etc. My dr. prescribed Diazapham. It worked. But I also drink as well, probably 3-4 glasses of wine a night. I am now seeing a social worker and have an appointment with a psychatrist this week for meds. They currently put me on Prozac, which I can't take, makes me have terrible anxiety, tremors, sweats etc. Stopped taking at at once. I am also taking Zanax. 5mg once a day. It makes the panic subside but not for as long of periods of time as it did before. I am worried that the jitters I get are alcohol related as well. Is combining the 2 at such a low dose truly dangerous and how do I just stop drinking? I want to be able to have a glass of wine with friends but not every night.
Any suggestions? I am in a very lonely place right now and would appreciate the help.
Hello ...sorry to say, I think you are in withdrawals, not the flu.
What worries me is that withdrawal cold turkey from xanax can be very very dangerous. Since it has already been 6 days, you are probably safe from the potential seizures, but I'm not sure.
Effexor is a wonderful antidepressant, but again, folks usually need to taper off it, or else they might have withdrawals from it.
I really suggest you call your Doc and tell her what you've decided, just to be sure you are safe.
love,
WW
What worries me is that withdrawal cold turkey from xanax can be very very dangerous. Since it has already been 6 days, you are probably safe from the potential seizures, but I'm not sure.
Effexor is a wonderful antidepressant, but again, folks usually need to taper off it, or else they might have withdrawals from it.
I really suggest you call your Doc and tell her what you've decided, just to be sure you are safe.
love,
WW
hi..I read the comments that were made about xanax and alcohol.I was taking 150mg of effexor +150mg of wellbutrin +.5mg of xanax in the morning/150mg of wellbutrin and .5mg xanax at supper and then 1.5 mg xanax at bedtome....plus 3-5 beer a day a usual amount for me..I took those pills for a year and then my doctor wanted me to take epival.no way I was going for more..so I am stopping it all(except a few beer)this is day 6 of my quitting and I dont know if I have withdrawal or a bad flu..I have the following symptoms headache(less today than before) sweating a LOT..its dripping off me now...tingling in my hands ..a lump or choking feeling in my throat..nausea...dhiareah.?? cant spell right either haha...mild shaking...very tense but as I look at the pills in my purse I feel I am doing the right thing by getting OFF them.I dont want to call my doctor because she will talk me into the pills again...so tell me friends..is it the flu?
I never mentioned it before but I am sorry about your mother. That in itself can make someone turn to ways of covering up the pain. I have a "difficult" relationship with my mother as well. It has gotten better over the years, thanks to my wonderful stepdad. He makes he a little more understanding. She is a therapist actually. Good at working on other peoples problems but not the ones close to home.
Don't discount therapy because of the 12-Step issue. If you try a dr and don't like them look for someone else. I think it would help you tremendously. Just being able to talk about yourself for 50 minutes is worth it! :)
I almost fell off my chair when I read your email about drinking too much this past weekend. The same thing happened with me. I was having a great time and before I knew it I was 6 glasses of wine in. (I was visiting the boyfriend) Anyway, by the end of the night I was crying and made a complete ass out of myself. Thank god he is understanding. He told me the next day we can't let that happen again and he is right. I don't remember parts of the evening and when he tells me things I hate to admit I don't remember. This is a pattern, I just wish I knew when to say when.
Maybe slowly you can start opening up to him. Maybe about your mother is a start. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Noone is perfect, including him. You are on the right track just talking about it. I have my moments as well but I am seeing life is too short. I am 34 and feel 100 some days. It shouldn't be that way. The only good thing that is coming out of all the meds is my anxiety has tapered slightly and I am to my ideal weight, a little less even. The drugs give you no appetite. I really wish you'd pull the trigger and call and go see someone. The phone call is the hardest part. If you do end up going this time around you've GOT TO BE honest with the dr. They really are there to help you. If 12 steps come up-get out of there and find someone else.
Good luck, I am thinking of you.
LPB
Don't discount therapy because of the 12-Step issue. If you try a dr and don't like them look for someone else. I think it would help you tremendously. Just being able to talk about yourself for 50 minutes is worth it! :)
I almost fell off my chair when I read your email about drinking too much this past weekend. The same thing happened with me. I was having a great time and before I knew it I was 6 glasses of wine in. (I was visiting the boyfriend) Anyway, by the end of the night I was crying and made a complete ass out of myself. Thank god he is understanding. He told me the next day we can't let that happen again and he is right. I don't remember parts of the evening and when he tells me things I hate to admit I don't remember. This is a pattern, I just wish I knew when to say when.
Maybe slowly you can start opening up to him. Maybe about your mother is a start. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Noone is perfect, including him. You are on the right track just talking about it. I have my moments as well but I am seeing life is too short. I am 34 and feel 100 some days. It shouldn't be that way. The only good thing that is coming out of all the meds is my anxiety has tapered slightly and I am to my ideal weight, a little less even. The drugs give you no appetite. I really wish you'd pull the trigger and call and go see someone. The phone call is the hardest part. If you do end up going this time around you've GOT TO BE honest with the dr. They really are there to help you. If 12 steps come up-get out of there and find someone else.
Good luck, I am thinking of you.
LPB
Yes, I have great medical insurance through work. I should just call around and see what I can find. Ideally, I'd love to see someone who understands addiction, but there's only one addiction specialist listed in my network...and I don't want to see someone who is gung-ho about 12-step programs. I know 12-step programs help a lot of people, but I've had some bad experiences with them. My mom was very involved with 12-step programs, and it was almost like she was brainwashed to blame her family for all her problems. It got to the point where she isolated herself from everyone and considered her 12-step buddies her true family. I have no doubt these people offered support and encouragement, and may have been as close as family--but I didn't respect the fact that she chose them over her real family. I even tried to understand by attending meetings wtih her, and it was almost cult-like...almost like another addiction (eg, substituting the 'program' for drinking and drugging). So anyway, I'm a little afraid of seeing a therapist and being bullied into a 12-step program. I want to stop using and go into recovery, but I want to use a method that will work for ME, and for the above reasons, a 12-step program is not that method. Not sure if that makes any sense...
But yes, I can understand the binge drinking. As I mentioned, I suffer from that habit, too. As a matter of fact, when I saw my 'boyfriend' this weekend, we went out with a bunch of friends. And we all drank too much--to the point where I can't remember the last part of the evening. I only get to see this guy once a week, and I blew it by drinking too much. He wasn't mad or anything--but it was my own loss, because I have memory lapses and NO idea what we discussed, if anything. And yes, I'd love to be honest with him. But at this point, our relationship is so new that I think we have a few other bridges to cross first. There are a few other things I'd like to tell him first, before I broach the subject of addiction, just to put things in perspective so he might understand why I went down this awful path. My old relationship with my controlling, verbally abusive boyfriend, for example. Or the recent death of my mom (he knows my mom passed away, but no other details about how I coped--or more accurately, how I didn't cope). So although my instincts tell me that I could trust him, I want to do this in a methodical way. I'd also like to be able to say, "I have an addiction and I'm actively in recovery." Like I said, I feel so ashamed and embarrassed that I allowed this to happen to myself...it would totally shock so many people, to know the truth. I want so badly to get in control before I confess.
I've heard the stories about Klonopin / alcohol seizures, too. And that scares me. Be careful--please. I've only known you for a few weeks, but like the other people I've 'met' on this forum, I care about you and think about you when I'm not actively posting. I often wonder if something happened to someone--how would I know? I could pick up the paper and read about an overdose, but never know the overdose was someone I cared about. That's a scary thought....
Sounds like you have a caring guy in your life. That's very cool. And perhaps a nice bit of motivation to really take care of yourself.
Leigh
But yes, I can understand the binge drinking. As I mentioned, I suffer from that habit, too. As a matter of fact, when I saw my 'boyfriend' this weekend, we went out with a bunch of friends. And we all drank too much--to the point where I can't remember the last part of the evening. I only get to see this guy once a week, and I blew it by drinking too much. He wasn't mad or anything--but it was my own loss, because I have memory lapses and NO idea what we discussed, if anything. And yes, I'd love to be honest with him. But at this point, our relationship is so new that I think we have a few other bridges to cross first. There are a few other things I'd like to tell him first, before I broach the subject of addiction, just to put things in perspective so he might understand why I went down this awful path. My old relationship with my controlling, verbally abusive boyfriend, for example. Or the recent death of my mom (he knows my mom passed away, but no other details about how I coped--or more accurately, how I didn't cope). So although my instincts tell me that I could trust him, I want to do this in a methodical way. I'd also like to be able to say, "I have an addiction and I'm actively in recovery." Like I said, I feel so ashamed and embarrassed that I allowed this to happen to myself...it would totally shock so many people, to know the truth. I want so badly to get in control before I confess.
I've heard the stories about Klonopin / alcohol seizures, too. And that scares me. Be careful--please. I've only known you for a few weeks, but like the other people I've 'met' on this forum, I care about you and think about you when I'm not actively posting. I often wonder if something happened to someone--how would I know? I could pick up the paper and read about an overdose, but never know the overdose was someone I cared about. That's a scary thought....
Sounds like you have a caring guy in your life. That's very cool. And perhaps a nice bit of motivation to really take care of yourself.
Leigh
Yep. Sounds like we do have a lot in common. I have a great job and career as well. I feel terrible for you as far as the pill thing goes. Its funny that people on the outside think I am so "together" and have such a wonderful life. Ugghh..if people only knew.
I went to visit the guy I have been seeing this weekend and had a wonderful time! Only problem, the drinking. It seems when I do drink now it's in excess. Imagine that-not knowing when to say enough is enough. He really layed into me the next day. Mixing the pills for the anxiety with alcohol is a receipe for certain disaster. I know he cares or he wouldn't have said anything. I need to be careful. They say you can have seizures from taking the Klonopin/Celexa and mixing with alcohol. Scary. It is my personality, to just lay it all on the table and be honest. So I am lucky in the sense he already knows. It keeps me in check I guess. Plus when I am having a bad time there is someone to talk to .
The Klonopin takes away some of the anxiety so I am not drinking as much, to some extent I am self-medicating. The seizure thing really scares me as well. That alone is enough to make you cut back. The other stuff I am taking makes me feel crappy most of the time but its getting better
I know you said the relationship is new but maybe at some point you will be able to tell him. If he is a good person he will understand. If not, do you want to be with him anyway? We aren't talking marriage here ya know just opening up a little.
I also know what you mean about worrying where the next dose will come from. Years ago(college and after) I smoked a lot of pot. While they say that is not addictive I would worry when my supply would get low and the stress of wondering where I would get the next batch from was agony. I can sympathize. Its not like running out and getting a six pack.
I thought about you this weekend on my ride home and hoped you were doing okay. As far as seeing someone professionally-do you have medical insurance through work? mental health coverage? I just winged it by someone in my network and got lucky. Let me know.
Keep your head up and talking. It really helps.
LPB
I went to visit the guy I have been seeing this weekend and had a wonderful time! Only problem, the drinking. It seems when I do drink now it's in excess. Imagine that-not knowing when to say enough is enough. He really layed into me the next day. Mixing the pills for the anxiety with alcohol is a receipe for certain disaster. I know he cares or he wouldn't have said anything. I need to be careful. They say you can have seizures from taking the Klonopin/Celexa and mixing with alcohol. Scary. It is my personality, to just lay it all on the table and be honest. So I am lucky in the sense he already knows. It keeps me in check I guess. Plus when I am having a bad time there is someone to talk to .
The Klonopin takes away some of the anxiety so I am not drinking as much, to some extent I am self-medicating. The seizure thing really scares me as well. That alone is enough to make you cut back. The other stuff I am taking makes me feel crappy most of the time but its getting better
I know you said the relationship is new but maybe at some point you will be able to tell him. If he is a good person he will understand. If not, do you want to be with him anyway? We aren't talking marriage here ya know just opening up a little.
I also know what you mean about worrying where the next dose will come from. Years ago(college and after) I smoked a lot of pot. While they say that is not addictive I would worry when my supply would get low and the stress of wondering where I would get the next batch from was agony. I can sympathize. Its not like running out and getting a six pack.
I thought about you this weekend on my ride home and hoped you were doing okay. As far as seeing someone professionally-do you have medical insurance through work? mental health coverage? I just winged it by someone in my network and got lucky. Let me know.
Keep your head up and talking. It really helps.
LPB
Hi Butterbean!
I'm so glad you have the courage to go out on a date. I've been married for 12 years, so don't remember what the dating world is like..but, my best advice is this...breathe. be yourself. dig deep inside to find your genuine, true, wonderful nature, and tell yourself that you are gold. Don't automatically devalue yourself if you really like him. We women tend to do that, don't we?
I'll be thinking of you, and hoping that it goes really well.
Please, keep us apprised!
love,
WW
I'm so glad you have the courage to go out on a date. I've been married for 12 years, so don't remember what the dating world is like..but, my best advice is this...breathe. be yourself. dig deep inside to find your genuine, true, wonderful nature, and tell yourself that you are gold. Don't automatically devalue yourself if you really like him. We women tend to do that, don't we?
I'll be thinking of you, and hoping that it goes really well.
Please, keep us apprised!
love,
WW
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