Pls help w/ what I can expect.. Or advice..

[CrzyChic20]

I'm about to go through withdrawl from 10-15 mg of methadone in the next 2 days. I'm nervous, but I have no choice. I have a 830-500 job so I'm nervous about that as well. Idk how I'm going to function at work while going through this.. And I CANNOT lose my job bc that's the only thing paying our bills right now.. I'm terrified...but it has to be done.. Any advice on getting through and going to work. I'm scared...

[ariley13]

What you are feeling is very normal. Trust me! I also have a ton of medical issues. I know how hard it can make things and they are just downright scary to deal with on their own. If you tell your dr. that you have an issue with the meds and are not taking them properly, that doesn't automatically mean you will forever be cut off. Meds have their place and sometimes we have to have them. There may come a time when for a medical issue, injury, surgery, whatever, you need opiates. This will just ensure that your dr. realizes you have no control over taking them and he/she will take measures to help you with that. This run around in your head is your 'addict brain' messing with you. It's telling you you can't do this. It's too scary to cut yourself off. You might need the meds, and then what? It's lying to you my friend! If you are truly ready to quit, then you need no back up plan. Period! One day at a time. Don't worry about what tomorrow will bring pain or health wise. Tomorrow has a way of covering itself when it comes. Don't listen to the lies anymore. Tell your doctor what is really going on. It's scary, but you will be so happy you did. I promise you that.

[CrzyChic20]

I don't think I can tell him.... its horrible to say bc its like what if I don't want to stop or if it gets too hard.... idk crazy thoughts going through my mind

[VICourageous]

Please Tell Your Dr all of this that YOU have said on here. You will be really happy you did and he will respect you for it. A big weight will be lifted and the Dr will help SO much. We are cheering for YOU!!
Bless

[CrzyChic20]

I think it would be easier if I didn't go to my doctors, but I have to go every 2 wks for blood tests.. And I don't think I could admit to him what has been going on.. My situation. Is crazy.. I have all these help problems and md's throw meds at me, but I'm over it, especially bc I want a family.. I want to get pregnant eventually.. Idk just some much in my head right now

[ariley13]

Great job on day 3! Keep up the fight! There is something you said that worries me...

"It's when I go back to my MD for my 2 wk INR--- hes going to offer me all my rx's and i dont lnow if I have the strength to say no......"

     This is why it's so very important to cut off your supply of pills. Please seriously do some soul searching on this and consider being honest with you doctor. I don't care who you are, if you are an addict and have access to your drug of choice, eventually you will have a weak moment and cave. Those pills will call your name and whisper in your ear constantly! Just something to think about. (how do you feel about this? Feel free to tell me to go jump in the ocean or whatever!)  ;)
    Please hang in there and know that things do start to get easier. We are here for you. Please stick around and keep updating us on how you are doing. Take care of yourself. Sending wishes for peace and healing your way.

[CrzyChic20]

Thanks I'm trying..... I'm not doing as bad as i thought I would be, but now I'm starting to have a ot of pains-- almost unbearable... but isn't that my body just trying to get me to pick up another pill..... idk i am extremely emotional, but i know that I am doing this to better my life-- My fiance and I would like to start a family soon and I know those pills are poison if you are pregant... and i want to be fully off of these things.. I would never want my child to be addicted to this **** before he/she even has a chance to experience a diff and clean life...

[ROSYouralright]

Hang in there!!

[CrzyChic20]

Day 3...... Feeling icky this morning..I would really love to stay in bed and just rest today... I hope this day goes faster then yesterday.. I'm getting the sweats more.. I woke up uncomfortable... I hope the day gets better... I can't wait for the weekend..

[CrzyChic20]

Im not tempted  at work-- theres nothing I can do-- It's when I go back to my MD for my 2 wk INR--- hes going to offer me all my rx's and i dont lnow if I have the strength to say no......

[atthebeach]

hun please, please ,please stop taking the methadone. yes it is masking your symptoms the roxys will be out of your system by now. if you keep up with the methadone then it will build up in your system and you will have to detox from that. the sooner you stop the sooner you will heal.

if you feel you will be tempted by all the drugs in your environment then maybe you should seriously think of working outside the hospital.

[CrzyChic20]

started on 15 mg.. not 15 pills lol then down to 10 mgs, then to 5 mgs and now on 2.5 mgs once a day....

I was talking mg, not amount of pills lol

[CrzyChic20]

no my MD does not know about the methadone-- I had it just incase it got really bad.. I can't lose my job, so that was like my back up plan-- but i started on like 15 aday for the first 2 days, then down to 10, then 5 every 16-24 hrs and today was my first time cutting it to 2.5-- I've only took 2.5 at 9:30 this morning and I think I'm doing pretty good-- I am really thinking that the methadone allowed me to come down slowly instead of cold turkey

but I am still struggling w my follow up appt w my MD in 12 days---- I can't even cancel bc I have to get my INR checked... that day is going to be my turning point  I think--- and I am actually terrified....

[Ann2497]

Hey girl - sounds like you are doing pretty well.  you are working and should pat yourself on the back.  One thing I am not clear on and I am sorry if you mentioned this - why did you go to the methadone?  You said that you will be offered roxy's by your doctor soon.  I am assuming that means your doc does not know about  the methadone?

[CrzyChic20]

I've only been on methadone for 5 1/2 days now

[CrzyChic20]

OMG this day is going by so slow -- I'm actually feeling much better than i was this morning -- but all my mind goes to when I have a second of down time are those pills -- how one tiny little blue thing would turn my day around and the pain w ill be gone-- I'm trying my hardest-- Another thing that I can't stop thinking about is my fu appt scheduled in 12 days to see the MD -- God grant me the strength to turn down that perscription --

I am actually not feeling half as bad as I've felt before coming down from roxicodone.  But then it makes me think-- is the methadone that I did take just masking the withdrawl symptoms-- or could it of made this whole thing a little easier??

VICourageous:
I'm not 100% off everything.. I'm trying my hardest--- If i get crazy WD symptoms i am down to taking 2.5 mg of methadone (poss less) prob 1 every 16-24 hrs.. i cannot go into crazy withdrawl, I NEED my job....

[ariley13]

I'm sorry you are having a hard day. Keep fighting. The worst of the physical stuff should be passing soon. Just try to stay as busy as possible. It helps to pass the time and keep your mind off of things. I hope that things start to get much easier for you very soon!

[CrzyChic20]

today *****...

[CrzyChic20]

Here's day 2...I woke up w a little anxiety this morning, but still not as bad as I thought I was going to be..I wish it was 5pm... I got no sleep last night, maybe 2 hrs at the most..god I want this feeling to be gone.. I'm already tired of fighting this demon ever min of everyday...and at my job, I'm around it 24-7... Watching people take this evil things.. Just feeling pretty emotionally drained today....

[atthebeach]

you are doing great. hun just keep pushing through.
please don't start at a clinic with methadone.
that will be a much bigger demon to tackle.
keep up the great work.

[VICourageous]

Well I think you are doing pretty good myself. You are working and going in the Bath Room and taking a Deep Breath.
I know what you mean about the help out here. I wanted off for 12 years and could not do it alone nor could I taper. (I tried). I got sponsored a bit and had got some money so I used it to go. I wish I would of found this site before that..BUT It did open the door for me to know how important Support like meetings are and all what the drugs do to the Brain..haha You would think us nurses (like ariley too) would of known more abut it. OH, maybe it did not matter back then..hahaha
Keep on it and we are here.
Bless

[ariley13]

You go ahead and vent away! It helps a lot of times. Are you checking into Methadone clinics? If so, please really think it through first. (I'm sure you know this) Methadone is a whole different kind of drug and it is a beast to kick. The half life is so very long and it can really drag the detox process out. I have known many people who went on Methadone to get off of pills and they all said they wished they had never done it. It can be a life saver for some folks though. Just kinda depends on your situation. How much you're using, how much your spending, etc. You know what's best for you. So, how many days have you been off the pills? How are you feeling, besides the time dragging thing?

[CrzyChic20]

Ugh I day of work down. It was getting rough at about 3:00pm. The day never went so slow... I'm just starting to get discouraged.. I even called clinics today to maybe try to get help so I'm not on my own.. Ny is ********.. What they want to charge me for an evaluation is crazy... Then I have to be online at a clinic by 5:45 in the morning everrrry morning.. It's impossible, especially with my job.. I have never realized how little help is out there for people.. It's scary.. In a couple of months I'm suppose to be inheriting a pretty big estate.. I swear, I would love to open a clinic for people.. One that isn't ********.. That's diesnt cost so much money... It cost more to go to a clinic everyday for out pt programs, then to go buy whatever your drug of choice is.. I get perscriptions, so I'm paying $10 150 15 mg and 90 30mg.. It's crazy!! I honestly think some people continue getting high bc it's cheaper... For people that aren't court ordered to go to a clinic or want to try to get help while living a normal life.. Going to work 5 days a week for 8-10hrs a day..they make it impossible for these people.. It's crazy. There needs to be more opertunities for real people that get addicted to these poison pills bc they have a serious diagnosis.. But if you rob and steal, or stick people up, or sell **** and get arrested, it's a free ******* pass to any clinic any help that you need.  It's ********... And people wonder why addicts just go back to what they know.. Bc they have no choice, it's cheaper.... (Sorry just venting. I'm only talking about my situation. Sorry if I affended anyone) ... Just venting...

[CrzyChic20]

Yes I tried everything over the counter.. The only thing I cannot take is NSAIDs, bc I'm on blood thinners. So far so good I guess.. I've gotten some sweats but nothing crazy.. My stomach is still aching, but 11 hrs to go.. I try to go in the bathroom  and breathe for a minute.. Get myself together, maybe a little pep talk.. And then back out on the playing field w a smile in my face..here I go again...

[ariley13]

Good luck today! I hope that you have a good day at work, and the time just flies by. Have you tried either Thermacare or Icy Hot wraps for your knee? I know it's not much, but they might give you a little relief and are easy to use while you are at work.