Any advice or support needed

Myquestion is about coming off of methadone. This is my first time on any forum or the likes and as I read, I decided to to register right away. I am a 25yr. old female, I have 2 daughters, and I have been married for 9 yrs. since Oct30th2007. My husband is 30 and he is addicted to methadone like me. I started putting substances in my body at the age of 12. Started with cigs., the pot, then whiskey, (Jim Beam to be exact) then LSD, then cocaine, etc. You all get the point. I had no guidance as a child so theres that. At age 15 I got pregnant, and I quit everything I had ever done except for cigs. My husband (the babies father) stook by and we gave it a shot and got married 3months after my 1st daughter was born. Now, he was also a substance abuser, I mean I got pregnant from a night of drunken idiocy from both our parts. We've done every drug except heroine, go figure, since that is what methadone was originally made for, butwe got close enough with Perks, and Oxy.
We had a rough first 5-6yrs of our marriage, constantly fighting, partying, being selfless and selfish. I started taking Perks one day just for the hell of it, I mean my mother in law which was a nurse at the time stole them on a regular basis and she told me about the way they make you feel and blah blah blah. So I said what the h*** I got so caught up in those that I forgot about drinking and the pot, and so I told my husband about it. He was skeptical at first (which at the time I found annoying, and now I wish I would have just reailized how right he was to be) but our life was so messed up already, he went along with it. Soon we found ourselves not drinking or partying anymore, we had energy when high so we got things done at twice the time it would take being sober. We thought we were in heaven. But of course "if it's too good to be true, then it probably is" As time went on we weren't getting the high of it anymore, so my husband ran across someone with oxycotin. He bought some and we snorted it and we were immediatley hooked. We soon came to the realization that we had to stop this ****, we were going to go broke (which we are now, no health insurance either) so we looked into solutions for this and WALLAH the door to hell opened. Methadone was our savior, at least that was what we thought. Now, we never knew what all this stuff could do to you when we so recklessly let it in to our lives. My fault I believe, and I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for doing this to us. So to  the point (Im sure you have all been wanting that words ago, but sorry, I have a lot to say) We've been on "done" for 41/2 yrs and it is tearing us apart individually, and of course our marriage, and lives. And whats worse, we buy it illegally. So we have been weining ourselves off of it for about a year. My husband went as high as 40mg to now 10mg. I have came down from 30mg. to 7.5 mg. When we were up in miligrams life wasn't so bad, but we knew deep down we were killing our chances of a normal life the longer we stayed on, and what if something drastic happened and we were just cut off, what then? So we took it upon ourselves to come down on our own. It has been the worst the last 6 months. We don't have much of a drive for anything, sex, work, holidays, our kids are affected because we have no energy, or we are just lazy. We are depressed, we are arguing all the time again. I don't want to clean my house or myself for that matter (but I do) he don't want to get out of bed, unless it's to play video games. We feel worthless, but I keep trying to tell ourselves that it is just the slight withdrawal we are feeling, but he can't stand it no more, and frankly I can't stand anything anymore. We would be completely sober if it weren't for the "done" and so if we come off of that we will be sober for the first time in 14yrs. Wow that's amazing, but how long is it going to take, because I am about to the point where I am going to try to either go cold turkey or go from 7.5 to2.5 immediately and only do that for a week or 2. I believe it will be easier for me than him, because of our dosage differences through the years, but I am still scared. He however is worried because of work. How will he support us if he is going through heavy withdrawal, right now he is half a**ing things, as am I , but if we decide to be drastic what will it do? Can we do it? What can help us through the process? How long will it take?/ and I don't want another drug to replace it. I want to become sober for the first time since I was 13. Please help. Sorry for the long and suffering story, but hopefully you all (whoever that may be) will understand. Thank you so much and Peace, Love, & Happiness.
                                                                Samantha

[StillTrying101]

Hi,
Hang in there. I would do some research about how long the half life is of methadone, its actually prety long, so I would think about taking it maybe every other day. You are on a pretty low dose now. Your pretty close to the point of just biting the bullet and doing it. It wont be easy, but the busier you FORCE yourself to be the better yo will be. If you are busy and your mind is on other things the WD are at least HALF as bad as they usually are.
Hang in there. I have never had to kick methadone. Im on subs now, but I have kicked herion many many times. And I have some very dear friends on methadone and watched some girl kick it in jail once (due to the herion, only there 2 weeks. Lng enough to know I never wanted to go on methadone)
Someone else might have abette taper suggestion than I.
And remeber your two girls deserve to have a sober mom and dad, you guys can do it! And give yur self some slack you were married and parents when most of us were still haing sleepovers!

[helloiamsam]

Thank you so much for the advice and comments, I did not expect anyone to reply tonight, let alone read the entire thing. Again, thank you

[StillTrying101]

Yeah, Ive become an insomniac lately!
I have a daughter so I know how you feel, I have been there. The guilt alone will kill you. And i think its so much worse for woman and mothers.

[cathy5841]

i have never been on methodne, but i have had oxys, me doc.  just wanted to welcome you to the forum and let you know we care and are here   to help you when things get rough.  if you want you can pm me anytime.
cathy

[helloiamsam]

As soon as I read some of the others comments I knew this would be a great place to get support. I thank you for that, and as strange as it may seem with my situation I love to give advice or help others as best I can, so same goes with you if you need to let go. I have never been a fan for N/A orAA meetings, but not saying they wont work or haven't for some people. This to me is just the same if not better because you can stay home. (and withdrawal) ha ha ha
Thank you

[GoingToMakeIt]

BTT (backtotop)

[helloiamsam]

Why thank ya, you probably think I'm stupid. I mean duh, just post a comment on the same thread or whatever. I am soooo not computer savvy.  Thanks so much!

[helloiamsam]

Why thank ya, you probably think I'm stupid. I mean duh, just post a comment on the same thread or whatever. I am soooo not computer savvy.  Thanks so much!

[GoingToMakeIt]

It's OK. Also don't push the post comment button twice. You'll get the double post thing like what just happened.

[helloiamsam]

I am so used to double clicking. I read your comment on my other post and I realized we both used the word savvy. Huh, maybe it's like the saying "Great Minds Think Alike"

Also, how do I check private messages?

[helloiamsam]

Nevermind I figured it out. I sent a PM to you too.

[GoingToMakeIt]

I answered it. Open and read. I gave some compooterz helps.:)