Anyone out there?

[bb454]

Someone with some time behind them please tell me I will feel like myself someday again. I am being realistic and know these things take time..but I feel horrible emotionally,walking around like a zombie! Day 10.

[bb454]

Aww thanks akitagirl..i loved your post so much I read it twice :)

[akitagurl12]

I remember asking the same thing....WHEN WILL I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN!!!  Week 3 is when things really started to get better for me, mentally & physically.  But something I just realized, (actually, it just hit me last night), I am a new person now.  I am not who I was before drugs & I am not who I was when I was on drugs.  Before I got totally addicted to pills, I still didn't know how to deal with emotions or knew how to have fun without getting messed up.  While I was on drugs, well, that was more of the same, just a much bigger burden because it was no longer just for fun.  A new you is emerging, and it takes time and may feel uncomfortable at first.  But imagine what it is going to feel like to start going for longer and longer periods of times when drugs no longer cross your mind once?  And imagine actually laughing again and being able to feel all those natural endorphins pumping through your body.  And imagine having the energy, motivation and strength to do whatever you can dream up.  The sky is the limit once you are free from drug addiction.  It just doesn't happen overnight, just like our addiction didn't happen overnight.  You are doing an amazing job so far.

[minn66]

It happened to me too, hun. I did very well for quite a while, but gradually I worked my way up to more and more. The good news is, we caught it and quit. Just hang in there. I know it's tough, I've been where you are. There is light, and you are walking toward it. I know it seems easy for someone to say it and hard to believe because you are in the early stages and it stinks yet it is true that it is darkest before the dawn. You'll find it within yourself to make it!

[bb454]

thx Minn...im.really trying hard! I wish I never would have taken that first script from the doc...i never dreamed I would get hooked and it would reap this much havoc!! My god.

[minn66]

Yes, you are very strong! Build on each success. Even something that may seem minor. It all adds up. Ten days is great. Looks at how far you've come during that time. That is a big accomplishment!

[bb454]

thx Sarah for saying that..its good to here because I sure feel weak at the moment :/

[dominosarah]

You are stronger than you realize as you are doing the hard work here!

[bb454]

Thanks guys. All of my clients are saying "whats wrong you seem really off " im trying so hard to act normal..guess its showing all over my face..its scaring me that im so depressed.it really is..i guess if its normal then I will try yo stop worrying. I know ive abused my body for the past 3 years with the 6 to 8 hydro a day. I just didnt think it would be this bad! Holding on and praying for strength to get through this. I thank each and every one of you for taking the time to respond. Its the only thing keeping me going right now!

[hampstead]

My doctor has put me on wellbrutrin as well i am still tapering off on day 5 i am down to one and a half per day 10/325 i have not taking it yet as i am waiting to get pain pills out of my body do you think i can take them now

[minn66]

Hi bb, just wanted to let you know that yes, it does get better. I know it doesn't feel like it right now. Yet, after a little over 6 months clean (my last pill was on November 18, 2011 at 5AM) I can tell a big difference in my life. I don't wake up and grab a pill from the nightstand first thing in the morning. I don't have to count pills any more. Was it easy? Heck no. It has taken NA, counseling, and a whole new way of dealing with my pain management.

It did take me a while to eat normally too. Yes, drink some of the Ensure. I still drink them. They are packed with the vitamins and protein your healing body needs right now.

Hang in there, you'll be surprised at how much better you will feel. You can do this!

Hugs,
Minn

[dominosarah]

Maybe try looking it at this in a different way.  We abused our bodies for a long time and healing needs to be done.  Our organs took a real beating and they dont repair themselves in a week or 2.  They have to learn how to start working again on their own as they all got lazy while we were using.  We can see the physical changes but we cant see what goes on inside our body.  Our emotions are all over the place during this time too as we numbed those up too.  You are coming alive now, embrace it and be good to yourself~~

[Stacy_Lynn]

I've notice after only 46 days clean my old self coming back more & more everyday! I so look forward to waking up & having good feelings that i know i once had before these devil pill's took over my brain. I remember the first couple of weeks after quitting being like "Ok i've quit, why do i still feel like crap on the inside" but then i realized i abused my body & mind for about 8-10yrs with these pills & it won't heal over night, it takes time. Congrats on ur clean time & just take it day to day or even hour by hour cause things are much better on this side! Love & prayers! Stacy

[thewaz]

I'm very concerned over your comment about not eating.  you will not get better or stronger if you don't nourish your body.  I couldn't chew anything for the first 8 days.  It made me want to...  Well, you know.  Minn forced me to start taking Ensure Boost.  It's a meal in a bottle and actually tastes great.  I would pound 5 of those a day.  As soon as I started doing that, everything seemed to start turning around.  You feel like running because your anxious and don't know how to burn it off.  How about a walk instead of a run? But before you do any of that, please PLEASE feed yourself somehow.

[bb454]

Thanks Kyle..i cant wait to feel normal again.

[kyle505]

Today is 150 clean for me. As I've posted before, the mental part of the journey is the hardest. Our minds just won't leave us alone. I remember day 10...I was a bit better physically, had done my four days in hell, but was pissed because I wasn't back to normal. No matter that I'd been abusing for over 15 years, I wanted normal now.
Hang in there...Tomorrow might just surprise you and be a great day - if not tomorrow, then the day after. It will happen, that's a promise.

[bb454]

Thats exactly how I feel! Im tired and anxious at the same time! Sounds crazy I know. I feel like my brain is a big mixed up puzzle right now..desperately wanting the pieces back in the right place!

[kme17]

I was the same way the first few times i tried to stop. I made it 8 days. Well past the physical part but i will tell you the depression i felt was so overwhelming that i bearly noticed the physical part that time. I would cry n cry on and off all day everyday. I felt like it had all i got in me to get up on my feet just to even walk 10 ft for a drink of water. I am on welbutrin now. I couldnt have done it if this anti depressant didnt work for me. I really felt every single symptom of depression and if was gut wrenching!! Please hanf in there. It takes up to a month for even feel the full effects of antidepressants. But u might want to talk w a doc. Sometimes it takes trying a few diff meds before u find the one for u

[keke2013]

bb, hang in there. sometimes it's minute by minute. I have 2 months under my belt but I have to work at it. I'm on prozac and it does take time before I felt better.. I'ts normal in this process to be depressed. You'll wake up one morning and feel so much better...10 days is huge..hang in there..

[bb454]

I just jave an urge to run..im all of 120 pounds havent eaten in a week now I want to run. I forsee myself withering down to nothing.

[bb454]

;) thank god for this site. Thank you waz

[thewaz]

I was a long-time prozac user.  I now use Celexa. But any anti-depressant takes at least a month to build up in your system before it becomes effective.  Sorry for that news and shame on your doc if that wasn't explained.  Once it kicks in, then all is good. Prozac stopped working for me.  Celexa has been beyond awesome.  And the emotions are normal.  I would go from crying to yelling to insane laughter.  All of those emotions have been buried dead for a long time. Instead of looking at it as a negative, think of it as a positive that your mind is FINALLY waking up!

[bb454]

Thanks waz..been crying my eyes out all day..i have to get it together to pick my kids up from school..as I stated before I also started prozac this week and think its doing more harm than good :(

[thewaz]

Oh honey.  You will feel normal again.  First remember you've just come out of a train wreck.  And as I told Sonrissa, you're not just going to go from that to tap dancing naked in the street ; ).  Although you truly are over the worst it's going to take your body some time to heal.  Day 10 was a turning point for me and each day I felt stronger and better.  I still have challenges at day 20 with no sleep and anxiety but every day is better and my brain is clearing the fog.  I can't tell you what an awesome feeling that is. Remember...  don't look too far ahead.  It will only aggravate the anxiety.  I will hope you are nourishing yourself.  As soon as I started eating (healthy) my body responded.  Ensure Boost was my savior and I still drink one each morning.  Liquids are great for dehydration during hell week but now your body needs nourishment.  And push yourself to do a little exercise each day.  Small bits.  You need to get your natural endorphins ticking again.  If you're not, vitamins are a must. The Bs supply that energy boost you need!  You're doing great.

[bb454]

Thanks Vick..stories like this will keep me going right now. Feeling really down and out.