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Benedryl (Wal dryl) Abuse
For months I noticed lots of the tiny pink Benedryl tablets in my girlfriends' purse. They didn't seem to be disappearing so I never questioned it. One night, on a whim, I counted 37 pills in her purse. The next evening I went to count again and there were only 8 left...which led me to believe she took over 20 of them in a 24 hour period.
(I should add, before we get too far into this, that my girlfriend is a recoverring acloholic and has an addictive personality and lies about things like sneaking cigarrettes (which is odd since I smoke and wouldn't judge))
I am aware that there are side effects related to abuse. One is rapid heartbeat (which she has complained about since I met her). Another is the fact that she sleeps 12 hours at a go and, aside from St. John's Wort, she takes no other sleep aids and, currently isn't even working. I attribute a small amount of this to depression but to be actually SLEEPING that long?....
She also strongly argues that she is not taking more than one or two a day...sometimes four if her "sinuses are acting up". Funny thing is, I've been living with the girl for over a year and she has never blown her nose in front of me, had any allergic reactions, or anything of the sort.
The scary thing is that, in hindsight, I recall her waking up in the middle of the night making no sense whatsoever and rambling on about things she doesn't remember the next day. The fact that she strongly denies taking more than perscribed (even though I KNOW otherwise), the elongated sleep patterns and inability to sleep when I'm "watching", and the fact that she generally hides the bottle in the back of the cabinet and, somewhat foolishly, seems to buy new bottles and use them to fill the OLD bottle....all lead me to believe that there is an addiction-type situation occurring.
Does anyone have any relevant advice or suggestions on how to approach the issue or if there are signs I should be looking for or if I need to seek advice elsewhere! Thanks in advance!!!
(I should add, before we get too far into this, that my girlfriend is a recoverring acloholic and has an addictive personality and lies about things like sneaking cigarrettes (which is odd since I smoke and wouldn't judge))
I am aware that there are side effects related to abuse. One is rapid heartbeat (which she has complained about since I met her). Another is the fact that she sleeps 12 hours at a go and, aside from St. John's Wort, she takes no other sleep aids and, currently isn't even working. I attribute a small amount of this to depression but to be actually SLEEPING that long?....
She also strongly argues that she is not taking more than one or two a day...sometimes four if her "sinuses are acting up". Funny thing is, I've been living with the girl for over a year and she has never blown her nose in front of me, had any allergic reactions, or anything of the sort.
The scary thing is that, in hindsight, I recall her waking up in the middle of the night making no sense whatsoever and rambling on about things she doesn't remember the next day. The fact that she strongly denies taking more than perscribed (even though I KNOW otherwise), the elongated sleep patterns and inability to sleep when I'm "watching", and the fact that she generally hides the bottle in the back of the cabinet and, somewhat foolishly, seems to buy new bottles and use them to fill the OLD bottle....all lead me to believe that there is an addiction-type situation occurring.
Does anyone have any relevant advice or suggestions on how to approach the issue or if there are signs I should be looking for or if I need to seek advice elsewhere! Thanks in advance!!!
Hey Jake,
It's an old cliche, but very true. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger........
It's an old cliche, but very true. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger........
Thank you! It really is for the best...for both of us. And I think her parents are coming around. They, in fact, are the ones that paid for her treatment. They're still ignorant and seem to believe that I'm the bad guy in the situation...which is pure lunacy considerring I'm the one that scraped her off the ground both times while they played ignorant.
Anyway, I will find someone perfect for me...maybe in a couple years that person will be her...but I'm not even going to think about that. That's an easy way to miss out on other opportunities and sway my judgement. I'm heartbroken, yes...was totally left alone with all the burden to carry...but I remind myself that I'm doing this so that someone I loved can be healthy and happy. No good deed goes unpunished...but lets hope that she stays in and sober so it's not all for nothing!
Thank you..all of you...I'm SO glad I came here!
Anyway, I will find someone perfect for me...maybe in a couple years that person will be her...but I'm not even going to think about that. That's an easy way to miss out on other opportunities and sway my judgement. I'm heartbroken, yes...was totally left alone with all the burden to carry...but I remind myself that I'm doing this so that someone I loved can be healthy and happy. No good deed goes unpunished...but lets hope that she stays in and sober so it's not all for nothing!
Thank you..all of you...I'm SO glad I came here!
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am glad to see both of you taking care of yourselves now~~~~sara
Hey Jake! Glad to see you back, and even more glad to see you're doing better and that your (ex) girlfriend is finally back in treatment. I know you must be heartbroken right now, but at least all your questions about her behavior are finally answered and out in the open. Did her family ever come around or do they still think this isn't that big of a deal? God bless you for trying to help her and also for making the decision to move on without her. Who knows? Maybe she really wasn't your "soul mate." Give it time and I bet you'll find the real one. :-)
I should add....I love her to death. She was as close to a soulmate as I thought possible! Though I started this thread asking for advice I am going to spread a little advice at this point. If someone you care about has an addiction (whether it be benadryl or crack), the BEST thing you can do is get informed, ask questions (in a loving manner), and do YOUR part to support without enabling. I have also learned that the ONLY way to "push" someone toward positive change is to make them accountable for their actions. Yes...they are "sick"...but they are also human. I mean, if you have cancer you can't just walk around punching people because you hate life or you feel ill. Be supportive without letting them get away with hell! You have to look out for yourself....no matter how much you care about someone else! I mean, like I said, even if the person had cancer as opposed to alcoholism, you would be foolish to let their health effect yours. Someone has to remain strong...especially if one needs support!
To all, be healthy, be safe, and be considerate! Nothing is black and white! Lead by example and, as my favorite saying says, "Be kind, for we are all fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria.
To all, be healthy, be safe, and be considerate! Nothing is black and white! Lead by example and, as my favorite saying says, "Be kind, for we are all fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria.
To all....
She is in treatment...she will be there and will likely remain in the state where she's attending treatment. Obviously it wasn't just a benadryl addiction....benadryl has just been a long-standing, cheap, legal alternative that she could play off to allergies. I've done almost as much research on Benadryl in the last six months as the FDA...and Benadryl is certainly not as harmless as some like to make it sound...ESPECIALLY when combined with most anythin else. 50 Asprin a day can do serious damage....an antihystamine can obviously be as damaging in doses that high. It's not like she was just taking it to sleep. And, to my knowledge, she has had a history with opiates as well (may have mentioned that before).
Anyway, she's getting help and that's all I could ask for for her. I'm going to move forward and hope for the best, for both of us. Far too many lies have been told and far too much water under the bridge to look forward to some kind of reunion when/if she comes out clean. Thanks a million to Jay Bay and Wolfmedicine for your support, kindness, and advice!
I know enough about addiction to know that the best hope of her getting clean is changing EVERYTHING in her life. I'm man enough to admit that the stresses of our relationship and finances could have contributed to her anxiety and therefore sparked her addiction to resurface. Regardless, she will be better for learning how to love and be with herself. I'd surely do more damage than good trying to rekindle something that literally drowned in Jack Daniels.
Thanks again everyone...and I do check back often...so i don't miss the new posts....just don't always have time to respond.
She is in treatment...she will be there and will likely remain in the state where she's attending treatment. Obviously it wasn't just a benadryl addiction....benadryl has just been a long-standing, cheap, legal alternative that she could play off to allergies. I've done almost as much research on Benadryl in the last six months as the FDA...and Benadryl is certainly not as harmless as some like to make it sound...ESPECIALLY when combined with most anythin else. 50 Asprin a day can do serious damage....an antihystamine can obviously be as damaging in doses that high. It's not like she was just taking it to sleep. And, to my knowledge, she has had a history with opiates as well (may have mentioned that before).
Anyway, she's getting help and that's all I could ask for for her. I'm going to move forward and hope for the best, for both of us. Far too many lies have been told and far too much water under the bridge to look forward to some kind of reunion when/if she comes out clean. Thanks a million to Jay Bay and Wolfmedicine for your support, kindness, and advice!
I know enough about addiction to know that the best hope of her getting clean is changing EVERYTHING in her life. I'm man enough to admit that the stresses of our relationship and finances could have contributed to her anxiety and therefore sparked her addiction to resurface. Regardless, she will be better for learning how to love and be with herself. I'd surely do more damage than good trying to rekindle something that literally drowned in Jack Daniels.
Thanks again everyone...and I do check back often...so i don't miss the new posts....just don't always have time to respond.
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You are in the unfortunate and uncomfortable position of either -
1) playing DEA cop to gather evidence that will satisfy your suspicions, or
2) calmly asking her to be honest with you about the behavioral changes you've noticed.
Who knows? It may not even BE benadryl alone that is changing her behavior and sleep patterns. It may be a combination of that along with something else. You said in your first post that she is a habitual liar - even when confronted with direct evidence like the cigarettes - so you'll have to trust your own judgment. If her behavior is beyond what you can live with, it's time to go.
You're right - it's not your job to convince your girlfriend that she's an addict. It IS your job to tell her that her behavior has become a problem, and her actions have consequences to your relationship with her. It is also your job to determine what those consequences will be as far as your life with her is concerned and make them clear to her. How you say it probably won't matter. She's going to be angry; she's going to be defensive; she's going to deny; she's going to lie; and she probably won't change a thing, but you'll have it all out on the table with honesty.
In one way you are being an enabler. You are enabling your girlfriend's addiction problems to run your life. How much time do you spend wondering what you'll find when you get home from work? How much of your life do you want to spend having to count pills? How many sleepless nights do want to endure while you watch her to see if she's still breathing? Your relationship is already turning toxic because she won't work her recovery, and frankly it doesn't sound like she's recovered from squat at the moment.
Let's look at what you've written. Your girlfriend
1) Is an alcoholic/ addict
2) Has harmed herself and continues to harm herself with substance abuse
3) Is now harming YOUR life with continued substance abuse
4) Is a liar
5) Is unemployable in her chosen profession as a consequence of her addiction
6) Refuses to work a recovery program and wants to pretend everything is just fine.
What is left in this relationship for YOU?