Aa
OPEN THREAD
just wanted to see how everyone was doing, I don't feel like working? anyone from the Boston area?
Firstly, you didn't lose...just a temporary setback.
After watching these boards for some time, the pattern seems to have people in the early part of recovery/w/d "latch on" to others in similar parts of their recovery(which obviously makes sense...sharing the experience); and it makes it easier for someone a little further along to stay out of the dialogue.
I just want you to know this is doable. Not too dissimilar from bmac, I've had all kinds of back pain/problems including 2 surgeries, and had a relatively long term love affair with percocet. It was such a part of my routine, that it consumed all of my extra energy, when not chasing my two little ones or running my very busy career. I was scared shitless with the thought of not taking them anymore(after all I had pain that "really" required opiates....at least that is what I'd convinced myself)
Now the important part...I'm in my second month completely clean, and managing the chronic low back pain with the occassional anti-inflam(Naprosyn). But life has improved sooo dramatically, that my wife told her doctor last week that she has her old partner back again. Just wanted to share that with you and offer any help I can. IT IS SO WORTH IT!!!!
After watching these boards for some time, the pattern seems to have people in the early part of recovery/w/d "latch on" to others in similar parts of their recovery(which obviously makes sense...sharing the experience); and it makes it easier for someone a little further along to stay out of the dialogue.
I just want you to know this is doable. Not too dissimilar from bmac, I've had all kinds of back pain/problems including 2 surgeries, and had a relatively long term love affair with percocet. It was such a part of my routine, that it consumed all of my extra energy, when not chasing my two little ones or running my very busy career. I was scared shitless with the thought of not taking them anymore(after all I had pain that "really" required opiates....at least that is what I'd convinced myself)
Now the important part...I'm in my second month completely clean, and managing the chronic low back pain with the occassional anti-inflam(Naprosyn). But life has improved sooo dramatically, that my wife told her doctor last week that she has her old partner back again. Just wanted to share that with you and offer any help I can. IT IS SO WORTH IT!!!!
I am back on the meds for now. The 4th day pain/addiction got me. I am jumping back into it though. I had a few days of #$@^#$ after I couldn't hang in there. It is hard to admit you lost and have to jump up and try again.
My problem is I am still having the pain. I am trying to get off the meds long enough that my natural pain killer system(I forget the name for it - endorphins. Then I can use something non-narcotic to take care of the rest.
I am not giving up or giving in.
Where are you at? How are you doing?
Chezz
My problem is I am still having the pain. I am trying to get off the meds long enough that my natural pain killer system(I forget the name for it - endorphins. Then I can use something non-narcotic to take care of the rest.
I am not giving up or giving in.
Where are you at? How are you doing?
Chezz
Allisa,
Like everyone has said, don't beat yourself up over it. Although you are right you have to start again. That is where I am at also.
I feel like I lost all of my clean time(4days). Which of course the 1st four days are the worst. After that I was on the homestrech.
You may have lost that battle. But you have to get the strength from within to fully get this stuff out of your life. I know how hard it can be and is.
You have to disassociate yourself from your friends that are using. We being addicts, makes it nearly impossible to not relapse around these same people.
One thing at a time though. And today that means being happy about yourself for the things that you have done good. One I can think of is not having a 16 aday lortab addiction.
So you have already come along way........
Chezzz
Like everyone has said, don't beat yourself up over it. Although you are right you have to start again. That is where I am at also.
I feel like I lost all of my clean time(4days). Which of course the 1st four days are the worst. After that I was on the homestrech.
You may have lost that battle. But you have to get the strength from within to fully get this stuff out of your life. I know how hard it can be and is.
You have to disassociate yourself from your friends that are using. We being addicts, makes it nearly impossible to not relapse around these same people.
One thing at a time though. And today that means being happy about yourself for the things that you have done good. One I can think of is not having a 16 aday lortab addiction.
So you have already come along way........
Chezzz
sorry, i missed your post...
and to answer your question NO, I don't think they'll win it any time soon.
Doesn't hurt to dream though....
take care
and to answer your question NO, I don't think they'll win it any time soon.
Doesn't hurt to dream though....
take care
Good luck Allisa today/tonight!!!!
We're all here for you as many times as you need us.
Just keep fighting. Forgive yourself about the perc 10, and go at it again.
We're all here for you as many times as you need us.
Just keep fighting. Forgive yourself about the perc 10, and go at it again.
hey...nobody said it was going to be easy...everyone falls off sometimes...the key is to get back on...have a good sleep...talk to you later
Keep fighting Allisa!!!!
Just know the horrible W/D's are FINITE(in time), and lifes' opportunities are INFINITE.....
IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER(on the 4th day for me it did)
Just know the horrible W/D's are FINITE(in time), and lifes' opportunities are INFINITE.....
IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER(on the 4th day for me it did)
You did well...you should be proud of yourself...this is a damn tough thing to do, but you are worth it, and when you come out the other side things will be better.
You can do this. Day 7 for me and I am feeling a whole lot better. Almost all the physical stuff is gone, the depression and anxiety are starting to ease too...it IS getting better each day. Hang in there it WILL get better each day.
I can't remember if this is 2 or 3 days for you now, but you need to eat if you can. Try, your body needs it...do it if you can. If you aren't taking any vitamins, please try to take a multi am and pm, or read the threads here where there are folks that have given much better advice than I can about non drug supplements. Can you do some exercise? Even a long walk helps....get your body moving again and exercise if you can. YOU CAN DO THIS
You sound much better in your posts...stronger...keep going Allisa, persnomas is right, life's opportunities are endless AND they can be wonderful...w/d is hell, but it ends. You can make it...do it for you.
I'll watch for your e-mail. Prayers for you...your doing good...hang in there
You can do this. Day 7 for me and I am feeling a whole lot better. Almost all the physical stuff is gone, the depression and anxiety are starting to ease too...it IS getting better each day. Hang in there it WILL get better each day.
I can't remember if this is 2 or 3 days for you now, but you need to eat if you can. Try, your body needs it...do it if you can. If you aren't taking any vitamins, please try to take a multi am and pm, or read the threads here where there are folks that have given much better advice than I can about non drug supplements. Can you do some exercise? Even a long walk helps....get your body moving again and exercise if you can. YOU CAN DO THIS
You sound much better in your posts...stronger...keep going Allisa, persnomas is right, life's opportunities are endless AND they can be wonderful...w/d is hell, but it ends. You can make it...do it for you.
I'll watch for your e-mail. Prayers for you...your doing good...hang in there
Hi...hope that you were OK today at work...hang in there it will get better each day. I sent you an e-mail to the address you left in your post. Please read it when you have the chance.
The next several days are going to be hard...but it will be worth it. You can do it.
You can write to me for help at the e-mail address I left you or you can post here and I'll keep an eye out. I would suggest you keep posting...there are folks here who know a lot more about this than me and they will help you too. We are all in this together and it seems to me that there are many good people here who will give of themselves to help each other.
Hang in there...you are worth doing this...it will get better everyday that passes...it will be hard, but you can do it and it will get better.
Hope you're OK...prayers.
The next several days are going to be hard...but it will be worth it. You can do it.
You can write to me for help at the e-mail address I left you or you can post here and I'll keep an eye out. I would suggest you keep posting...there are folks here who know a lot more about this than me and they will help you too. We are all in this together and it seems to me that there are many good people here who will give of themselves to help each other.
Hang in there...you are worth doing this...it will get better everyday that passes...it will be hard, but you can do it and it will get better.
Hope you're OK...prayers.
Cold turkey is hard...some people seem to be able to taper to make it through withdrawl...others, the tapering just takes you back to the drugs...I can't tell you for you, only for me...I can't taper..I fool myself.
I know you're scared...it is scarey, painful and horrible...but there is something much better beyond it...life
If you can go to a Dr, I would say go...doing this on your own, cold turkey is the hardest way...you can do it, but it is hard. A Dr can help you through the withdrawl and can also help you get set for the future with counseling or other means to help you through after the physical pain is over.
Allisa, believe in yourself, you are worth doing this for. You deserve a life that you live and enjoy, not one where the drugs call the shots and rule your life. You can do it...it is hard, but you can do it.
I am on day 5 and feeling well enough to go to work tomorrow...my prayers will be there for you and I will check the board as frequently as possible.
If you CAN go to a Dr, go...they can help you.
Prayers for you and hope, there are many out here pulling for you...you can do it...you can.
I know you're scared...it is scarey, painful and horrible...but there is something much better beyond it...life
If you can go to a Dr, I would say go...doing this on your own, cold turkey is the hardest way...you can do it, but it is hard. A Dr can help you through the withdrawl and can also help you get set for the future with counseling or other means to help you through after the physical pain is over.
Allisa, believe in yourself, you are worth doing this for. You deserve a life that you live and enjoy, not one where the drugs call the shots and rule your life. You can do it...it is hard, but you can do it.
I am on day 5 and feeling well enough to go to work tomorrow...my prayers will be there for you and I will check the board as frequently as possible.
If you CAN go to a Dr, go...they can help you.
Prayers for you and hope, there are many out here pulling for you...you can do it...you can.
Can any of you Bostonians help me get 3 tickets to either the 28th or the 29th? I am looking to take my son (is first game). I just can't get any good seats online without paying up the kazoo.
Appreciate your help!
I am a die hard RED SOX fan, too.
Thanks,
Leah
Appreciate your help!
I am a die hard RED SOX fan, too.
Thanks,
Leah
Hang in there...there are prayers out there for you, more than you know. It is not going to be easy, but you can do it. If you have to go to your folks for help, go if you can...they may surprise you.
You're 21 and have decades of a potentially wonderful life ahead of you if you can do this...I quit alcohol at 27 and have been sobor for 15 years before falling into this...the sober time wqas SO much better....try, you can do it. I am going to make it...lot's of us have, you can too
you have my prayers
You're 21 and have decades of a potentially wonderful life ahead of you if you can do this...I quit alcohol at 27 and have been sobor for 15 years before falling into this...the sober time wqas SO much better....try, you can do it. I am going to make it...lot's of us have, you can too
you have my prayers
Hi Koala,
I think I might just be able to help you out. My husband has season tickets and we don't use them all--we usually sell the ones we don't go to because we are living on both coasts these days. We leave for San Francisco tomorrow and won't be back here on the East Coast until after the first of October. Where are you, though? How could I get the tickets to you? Are you in Boston.
We were at the game last night--it was sad. The poor Red Sox lost to the Orioles--we left after the end of the 6th, but I think the score ended up being 8 - 3 Orioles.
I think I might just be able to help you out. My husband has season tickets and we don't use them all--we usually sell the ones we don't go to because we are living on both coasts these days. We leave for San Francisco tomorrow and won't be back here on the East Coast until after the first of October. Where are you, though? How could I get the tickets to you? Are you in Boston.
We were at the game last night--it was sad. The poor Red Sox lost to the Orioles--we left after the end of the 6th, but I think the score ended up being 8 - 3 Orioles.
thanks for helping...Alissa, even if it is worse this time, hang in there you can do it...don't despair, we're pulling and praying for you. Get to a Dr if you can...open up to them, they can help too!
I'm sorry to tell you this, but my experience with opiate withdrawal (and I have had quite a lot of experience here--addicted to heroin and methadone for over 6 years, 10 years ago and recently addicted to vikes), but w/d's usually DO get worse the more times you do it. Plus, your body is more easily addicted each time you "slip."
When I came off of vikes recently, I tapered. It wasn't entirely pleasant, but it was do-able and the w/d's weren't so bad. Perhaps you can go to a Dr. and explain that you are addicted and ask him/her to put you on a tapering schedule and then prescribe enough pills for you to do this. This is the least painful route, in my experience. Not everyone has the willpower to taper, but if you have someone who could dole pills out to you, it could work that way also.
Good luck--don't despair--you'll get through it.
When I came off of vikes recently, I tapered. It wasn't entirely pleasant, but it was do-able and the w/d's weren't so bad. Perhaps you can go to a Dr. and explain that you are addicted and ask him/her to put you on a tapering schedule and then prescribe enough pills for you to do this. This is the least painful route, in my experience. Not everyone has the willpower to taper, but if you have someone who could dole pills out to you, it could work that way also.
Good luck--don't despair--you'll get through it.
hang in there....I don't really know if it will be as bad this time....I am on day 4 for 2 months of 10 vikes a day...day 1-3 were really hard, the stomach cramps, runs , anxiety and depression were bad...hardly any sleep the first two nights. Last night was much better, and today seems to be too...I don't really know, but I would think that if you have been using for a shorther period of time that the physical part might not be as bad. I kicked alcohol 15 years ago and it took several tries before I made it. At least with that I found that the physical side was less intense with each try.
You need to talk to some one who knows more thn me...anyone out there who can help?
You need to talk to some one who knows more thn me...anyone out there who can help?
i'm sure others can answer this better than i can, but i know that oxycodone(percs)is generally considered stronger than hydro(vikes, lortab). oxycodone is a schedule II narcotic(harder to prescribe), while hydrocodone is a schedule III. i know when i was abusing both meds, percocet always had the greater high (and harder fall). i would think that you would be o.k. with the percs after surgery, but maybe you will only be sure either way when it happens. i abused both hyro and oxycodone for about 2 years and have been clean about 5 months. congrats on your clean time and don't worry about the surgery, everything will turn out o.k.
the pain meds are there for people in pain, and something tells me that shoulder surgery might hurt for a bit. so as long as you are honest with your doc (and i know how hard that can be when addicted), he'll make sure you are comfortable.
if anyone knows different about the hydro/oxy question, please feel free to correct me.
Good luck Nod!!
the pain meds are there for people in pain, and something tells me that shoulder surgery might hurt for a bit. so as long as you are honest with your doc (and i know how hard that can be when addicted), he'll make sure you are comfortable.
if anyone knows different about the hydro/oxy question, please feel free to correct me.
Good luck Nod!!
I am in the same predicament that you both are in. Or the same as we ALL are here. I can relate a little more to you guys though.
I to went to my Dr. today and spoke of the necessity of getting off of these drugs. The thing that is scary and hard for me is that I am still haveing acute back pain from a degenerating disk. It comes and goes every couple of years. This time it came right after a surgery that I had.
I am 28, married with no kids. And thankfully no working and don't have to. I resigned about a year ago from a great job(more money than I ever thought I would make!) due to a relocation.
It looks like Jenn and I will be detoxing around the same time. I just got a refill today(60). I am going to try and stick to the 8 a day. I usually just stop taking them when the pain is bearable and then move on. I never knew these systems were withdrawls. I just fiqured it took a couple days for the meds to get out of your system. So I just dealt with it. Now I know there are things that can help.
Synderlla's comment about having a penis was so FUNNY. I can relate totally. I talk to my wife about EVERYTHING, always have. But one thing is for sure, explaining the med situation to her is one thing, her understanding it is another. She listens for a minute or two, but thats about it.
Just out of curiosity, how much are you taking now? Do you plan to taper? I'm not going to try, cause even when I do it just makes it worse mentally and drags it out. I just stop and then deal with it. The meds from the doc this time should help with the w/d's. I just need to find out what I should ask for.
Also, pot has helped immensely. I wouldn't do it without it. It takes your mind off of it and helps just to relax. Especially before a hot bath.
As you can see, I am a rambler too.
I hope to chat with everyone more through this. I have finally found out that it helps to talk to people through this. I have no friends(just moved back from out of country after 5yrs).
Chezz
I to went to my Dr. today and spoke of the necessity of getting off of these drugs. The thing that is scary and hard for me is that I am still haveing acute back pain from a degenerating disk. It comes and goes every couple of years. This time it came right after a surgery that I had.
I am 28, married with no kids. And thankfully no working and don't have to. I resigned about a year ago from a great job(more money than I ever thought I would make!) due to a relocation.
It looks like Jenn and I will be detoxing around the same time. I just got a refill today(60). I am going to try and stick to the 8 a day. I usually just stop taking them when the pain is bearable and then move on. I never knew these systems were withdrawls. I just fiqured it took a couple days for the meds to get out of your system. So I just dealt with it. Now I know there are things that can help.
Synderlla's comment about having a penis was so FUNNY. I can relate totally. I talk to my wife about EVERYTHING, always have. But one thing is for sure, explaining the med situation to her is one thing, her understanding it is another. She listens for a minute or two, but thats about it.
Just out of curiosity, how much are you taking now? Do you plan to taper? I'm not going to try, cause even when I do it just makes it worse mentally and drags it out. I just stop and then deal with it. The meds from the doc this time should help with the w/d's. I just need to find out what I should ask for.
Also, pot has helped immensely. I wouldn't do it without it. It takes your mind off of it and helps just to relax. Especially before a hot bath.
As you can see, I am a rambler too.
I hope to chat with everyone more through this. I have finally found out that it helps to talk to people through this. I have no friends(just moved back from out of country after 5yrs).
Chezz
Congratulations on following through with your doctor. I know that it brings almost a freshness to the soul, like opening the shades and windows and letting good air in when we take those steps towards integrity. I was forging scripts exclusively (after my internet scripts ran out). I don't have any relationship with any doctor at all. In fact, my insurance just kicked in a couple of days ago since I recently started with a new firm. I had refills left on a script that I recently forged and I knew that I just wouldn't go through a tapering process with those linguering out there. My D-day for tapering begins early next week (I created a schedule based on some of the posts I've seen here and when I have the exact amount of doses left, I hope to God I will go through with it). I am painfully aware that I may be BS-ing myself, but I don't think so. I am not going to forge again. It makes me sick to think that I have risked my family's security for the sake of wanting to shake borerdom and synthetically rise above the monontony of day-to-day living.
My wife has sensed that something in me has died over the past months and I see revulsion when I look into her eyes. She's not quite sure why I repulse her. It confuses her but she chalks it up to a funky season on the marital road (like we've legitimately had here and there over the past nine years). Our children are the salvation of our marriage. Splitting is simply not an option. But if she had even a hint of the monster I've been over the past months....
I may contact a new physician next week to spill the truth. It will depend on the level of discomfort I feel as I taper. As I've said in previous posts, I can't take time off work. You are definitely doing the right thing taking a leave. Don't be over-anxious about withdrawal. Being sick is a complete drag but the worst is over usually within 72 hours and after that there's usually day-to-day progress in making way towards "normalcy". For any addiction I've shaken in the past (heroine and cigarettes specifically, and the hydro once), it takes approx. 3 weeks to emerge as a "new creation", so to speak. That is, it takes that amount of time to really shake all the physical and much of the mental remnants of the addiction. God is very good in his provision of the gift of time. Doing the right thing consistently over time is the difference between life and hell.
Good luck and I will try to remember to lift up your plight in prayer here and there.
Sean
(***@****)
My wife has sensed that something in me has died over the past months and I see revulsion when I look into her eyes. She's not quite sure why I repulse her. It confuses her but she chalks it up to a funky season on the marital road (like we've legitimately had here and there over the past nine years). Our children are the salvation of our marriage. Splitting is simply not an option. But if she had even a hint of the monster I've been over the past months....
I may contact a new physician next week to spill the truth. It will depend on the level of discomfort I feel as I taper. As I've said in previous posts, I can't take time off work. You are definitely doing the right thing taking a leave. Don't be over-anxious about withdrawal. Being sick is a complete drag but the worst is over usually within 72 hours and after that there's usually day-to-day progress in making way towards "normalcy". For any addiction I've shaken in the past (heroine and cigarettes specifically, and the hydro once), it takes approx. 3 weeks to emerge as a "new creation", so to speak. That is, it takes that amount of time to really shake all the physical and much of the mental remnants of the addiction. God is very good in his provision of the gift of time. Doing the right thing consistently over time is the difference between life and hell.
Good luck and I will try to remember to lift up your plight in prayer here and there.
Sean
(***@****)
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