Need to talk.........STRUGGLING!!!!!

[Jaybird30]

I'm nearing the four day mark in a couple hours and am having a rough time with the mental side since this morning!  I just need some motivation so I don't relapse!  I keep thinking 4 days clean if I eat a couple I'll be fine but I can't just eat a couple!  I know where a couple leads!  Before I know it it's been a month and I'm starting all over again!  TALK TO Me PEOPLE!!

[Tab57]

Hey man it sounds like you are going great. Keep up the great work. Once you get further along in your journey you will need to tell those who you have hurt to get your full freedom. That will come with time. Right now focus on yourself and your recovery.

[Scared2Deth301]

Im exactly where you are right now..... we can do this! So close, just hold on bud! I like to look at pictures of my loved ones for motivation. It hurts, but it also puts things in perspective...

[melinda147]

sounds like you had a great day that sounds like so much fun we don't get much snow in Seattle so I don't get to make snowmen very often....
one more X on the calender yeah for you...
have a great night, Melinda

[Jaybird30]

Hey all, just started day 7 and feeling great!  Went out and built snow man with kids, had a good family dinner, now ready for shower and wait to watch my peguins!  How was all your days?  Only had one mental craving so far today and it seemed to be short lived!  Each day is better from here on out!

[melinda147]

I'm very happy for you...you stuck it out  and made it...I always take it one day at a time it makes it easer that way...
have a great day and I know you will put a big smile on your face and say YES I made it...
Talk to you later ,Melinda

[Jaybird30]

Good afternoon all!  More than half way through day 6 and feeling the best I've felt yet!  Slept good last nite, woke hungry for food not pills!  I see the light and it's very bright rite now!  I can't tell my wife cause she is a pain management doctor and I should know better!  I cosider myself very strong and know I can do this!  

[freedom007]

Ultimately, telling your loved ones is probably the best route.  That way, they can hold you accountable during your journey.  My wife hasn't been exactly supportive...quite the contrary...but, for most here, you will find that significant others are.

Let me add that my wife would probably be much more supportive if this wasn't the umpteenth time I have put her through something like this.  If this is the first go around, you will probably find success.

[MemphisMark]

Hey Jay…same thing here dude my wife never had any idea I was addicted and still does not know.  I provided for the family, I excelled at my job so nobody was getting hurt by this but me.

[Tab57]

Hey Jaybird! Congrats on 6 days!!!

A good friend of mine who is 28 is has just started day 8. He called me last week and came clean with me. Lean on your friend and I am here to help you as well. You must want to get well in order to get well. Why don't you tell your wife? My friend has a live in girlfriend who he intends to marry this fall. He told her but she doesn't understand the struggles of an addict and the fact that addiction is a disease. Find a support group if you can handle it. This group here is another source of help. What is your game plan in terms of beating this? My buddy is in treatment and is going to be using sub. to beat this.

[Jaybird30]

Hey Tab!  No no one knows my demon but me and a friend!  Not even my wife who is a pain management doctor!  My friend is 60 days clean today(he's on sub though) but he is doing great!  I can't wait for my full freedom!

[Tab57]

Hang in there man. The journey will be worth it. Does anyone close to you know waht you are going through. If so perhaps the can help get you through this. I will pray for you as I have a tremendous respect for people who can overcome addictions as I was raised in a household dominated by addiction and understand how tough it is to beat it. Let me know if I can do any more for you. Stay strong!

[pax_pax]

Good for you!!! I haven't even started my detox yet. I am too scared.  I keep waiting for the right day, if I just plan it out. But everyday I find a reason why it isn't the day to stop the Norco. Today I had to pull a 10 hour shift. Tomorrow as well.  Oh well, maybe Friday will be the right day.

You and all the others that have decided to quit pills, etc, are admirable and are my inspiration.  I'm watching you...

I hope to be on day 6 and 7 soon..

[Jaybird30]

Good evening all!  I'm into day 6 here in Pennsylvania and doing great except for a minor mental demon for couple hours this afternoon!  Got out of the house with my 3yr old son andwent to our property to check ice on the lake so we can go fishing tomorrow!  I'm feeling I'm on the down slope and need to stay strong mentally cause that's all the beast has left is the mental demon!  How is everyone else tonite?

[freedom007]

WOW...getting goose bumps (warm tinglies) from the music I am jamming!!

now that's a good sign...

[sweatinit]

Way to go Jay! THAT has got to be an incredible feeling to just say no.
I am in the same place you were yesterday. Getting ready to go out for a bit and buy some more powder protien. Not sure if you have read about it on the health boards, but i have been trying to drink at least one shake a day. Physically i feel pretty good (except legs still crampy), But mentally i'm a wee bit down today.
Hopefully soemone can sit for you and you can go fiching :)
Good job!!

[Jaybird30]

Keep strong on day 4!  My toughest so far mentally, physical symptoms left day 3!  Day 5 has been the best day for me in a long time!  Get through 4 and the light brightens!  Food taste good again!

[Jaybird30]

What gets me is you don't know your head is filling with fog until you let it clear!  Them little f'ers are demonically sneaky and consuming!  You would think the body wouldn't let it get out of hand but it likes them also!  I wish I had a sitter, I'm in the mood to do some ice fishing today!

[dominosarah]

Way to go you 2 on telling your dealers no more!!  That is very liberating!!!  Be proud of yourselves as that is BIG!!!!     sara

[dedicatedtostop]

I am right here w you man!! Day 4 for me too and I never want to go through it again!! We have came this far, its gotta get better from here.

[freedom007]

yep...I smelled spring today..even though it is winter.  I haven't smelled anything in over a year.  I am "hearing" music for the first time in a year.  All of my emotions are rushing back.  Hard to believe we numbed ourselves for so long.  Each day gets better and better.

I told both mine that I was done and under no circumstances to return any of my calls or texts...BIG step, cause I always kept that door open before.

Here's to us...life is meant to be experienced, not witnessed through a fog!!!

[Jaybird30]

Ive been up and moving for about 5 hours now and the day has been a joy!  Two of my connections called already and I'll told both I wasn't interested in the pills anymore!!  Talk about an emotionally proud feeling.....Overwhelming!!!!  I know I'm not out of the weather but it's already better than yesterday!  I'll be posting all day so keep talking to me it helps a ton!

[freedom007]

I have had about 4 relapses and 4 periods of clean time over the past 3 months...each detox time the physical part got easier and easier...the mental part was still the same though.  It's not magic, but with me, day 6/7 each time is when the mental portion started to subside.

Be careful that you are not just talking yourself into using again because the physical w/d's weren't as bad.  That sure gave me problems the past 2 relapses.

Keep it going brother...you're doing great...

[Jaybird30]

I never really have much physical symptoms except diarrhea, runny nose, headache and insomnia, and the mental part seems to be there from the start.  Does that mean I don't get physically dependent but suffer from a mental addiction?  Advice is appreciated!

[Jaybird30]

Yep and day 5 is more than half over already!  Slept through most of it!  If this goes like my last detox it should be smooth sailing from here on out!