Cocaine abuse

[Glamorous124]

I have always suspected that my boyfriend has been using cocaine. The other night he was out drinking and he was extremely hyper. It really scared me. I asked him if he was using cocaine and he told me yes.  He then began to cry and say how much he hated his life and he used all the time.  Then in the next hour he totally denied it.  While being sober today he says that he doesn't even use it that much and he just wants more when he does it.  I am so confused.  Do you think i am being lied to? I mean why would someone say they are addicted to it and then say they aren't? Is is even possible to only use this drug recreationally and not be addicted? And if so what is recreational use????

[Glamorous124]

And i just wanted to say thank you to you all for giving me your advice and opinions.  This place really helps let me vent. As i cannot tell anyone else too much for fear that they will tell...also i dont' want people to bother me about why i stay with him.  They would not understand.

[Glamorous124]

hmmmm well this weekend was a little better than normal. I don't even know what a good weekend is anymore.  He ended up going out on Saturday...i was busy with my mom doing Mother's Day things.  Then my mom and I met up that night with him.  He had been out since probably 1pm in the afternoon.  And he was hanging with someone that i know does coke.  i had been with him on Friday night and he got a call from someone regarding drugs.  He said to the person "no thanks, im good"  and then when he got off the phone i looked at him and he was like " see how i handled that??"  Well then on Saturday after he was drinking he told me that someone had dropped off coke at his house when he wasn't home.  I said well where is it then? He said i don't want that **** i had the person come and pick it up.  Why on earth would someone just drop that off at ur house if you did not request it?? Im sure he was lying.  Then on Saturday night we were probably out until 11pm.  When we got home he got very sick,....puking and a major headache.  I ended up taking care of him until he finally passed out at 5am.  He swore to me that he did not do any drugs that day or night.  Then the next day he was all like "thank you for taking care of me i really need you in my life...and hes like "i promise i will be a better boyfriend.  I am completely done with this drug ****, and drinking, i am no longer drinking."  and ever since Sunday he has been very nice to me.  Does coke make the inside of your nose red??  And i have told him that he should come on here.  I even told him that i go on here about stuff.  He's like why would i do that i don't have a problem?  So that is pretty much the status update about my weekend.  As you can see i always look forward to the weekends...NOT ! because something new and worse always seems to happen.  Thank god he has his kids this week from Wed. through Sunday.  Then i can have a vacation from worrying.

[Jolene28]

Hi Glamorous. Thanks. 7 days clean now. Trust is a huge issue in your case. I know if you love someone you want to believe them but in actuality, we are huge liars cause we are in denial, sorry to say. Keep in  touch and let me know what is going on with the situation.........best of Luck. Jolene

[gizzy32]

How does he seem today? It's the weekend and for many of us that can be a lil tougher time to stay clean, well for me it was and I would double up on my coke use. Would he be willing to come on here? Keep us updated.

[Jolene28]

hey there. I am so sorry to say I was in his shoes. I have been addicted for about 11 years and started to get clean now. I constantly lied and it is easy for us to do that. To make others believe that they are fine but are not. I can only wish you and him luck......

[cathy5841]

He will definately be moody if he is not doing it. Especially if he is out n can't find any. I really feel for you. There is no easy way to love an addict.

[Glamorous124]

thanks for your post.  i know i feel like most of our relationship has been clouded with this suspected drug abuse...and he is also older than me...i am 24 and he is 39...I guess i know in my gut i am right but he just keeps trying to convince me.  We talked about it last night and he asked me if i have ever said anything really stupid and untrue when i drank?? I said i would never say anything untrue about drugs.  So therefore he said that he made that up. And i know all of you say he is lying...i believe so too.  I guess i can only look out for myself now.  It really ***** when you love someone a lot and they have to lie to you.  The past couple of days he seems to be very moody. He got really mad at me last night for not turning off the bedroom light and i'm like ooookay.  What are some physical signs??  Maybe this moodiness means that he hasn't been doing it ??

[Downey]

You sound like both you and your boyfriend are young. I can only give you the wisdom I have and that is to stay out of bars. Drinking Does lead to drug use and other things you will regret. There are other things you can do for recreation other than drugs---so go out and find those things with him.

Take Care,
Downey

[gizzy32]

I read through your first post here just now and at that time a few months ago you thought he was lying about abusing percocets. Now he admitted to you while high that he hated his life and was doing coke, but the next day he says he's not. Well of course, when he is crashing from it or not high he will say he is not addicted. The fear of getting help when we are not truly ready to quit is scary, well it was to me. I can only give my opinion here, but I think he is lying and in complete denial. You have to take care of you, if he is not willing to get some help. If he is, then support him, just not his addiction.

We are here to listen and help. You said your gut feeling is always right so go with it. Do you see any other physical signs? Cocaine kills and it almost got me. Best of luck to both of you.

[cathy5841]

HMMMMM addicts are notorious liars....they will say anything to keep you from messing with their drugs...I know I am one...Please be very careful and look out for YOU!!!!!  He wont quit til he is ready...I wish you the best!!

[Glamorous124]

Oh and Jolene but he is just sooo believable. When we talked last night he made me feel better.  He could not tell me why he said that when he was high. He said that he meant that he wants more when he does it.  But he was actually crying when he was high and said it.  Do you think he is blowing smoke up my a$$?  He is just sooo believable until the next time this happens....he said he will never do it again but then he's like just a little? and i'm like NO.  What should i do?

[Glamorous124]

Thanks i wish you the best of luck. You can do it!!

[Jolene28]

In my addiction I had done the same thing. We feel guilty when we are high and that's how we really feel... when we become sober maybe the next day, we pretty much are in denial. I've done the same thing 100 times over and over again. I am now only one day clean but I really want it and need it, and that's the only way you will get clean, for yourself....

[Glamorous124]

I am going to talk to him tonight. But already he keeps insisting that he doesn't do it that much.  Yet he never has any money to pay his bills and he has been selling a bunch of stuff things lately. Well where is all this money for the things you are selling?  He has even asked me borrow him money.....god it is just so obvious why can he not admit that he has a problem. I am not stupid. and i know im going to go over there and he is totally going to convince me he doesn't have a problem. Whenever i ask him where all his money goes he gets VERY defensive.  I have even told him that it is me or coke and he says he wants to be with me. I have a very hard time believing that he is going to stop considering some of the people he hangs around do it and call/text him.  Hence the reason why he deletes all his texts and calls every night although he has told me he has always done this...It's amazing i never knew anything about coke until now. and now i realize that it is EVERYWHERE. so many people do it.  He has even made me try it probably to not feel so guilty himself about doing it. I have done it twice and i think that it is pretty lame and don't see how you could become addicted to it.  Sorry i just needed to get all of that out.

[Glamorous124]

Thank you.  I know my gut feelings are always right as i have been proved. I appreciate your response.

[stilltrying1965]

Hello i dont think anybody uses drugs recreationally. He was telling you the truth about his cocain addiction But when he was sober he tried to turn it back to he is not addicted Addicts are great at hideing things and lieing about our addiction. We will do anything to hide it from the one,s we love its only an opinion But thats what i think i pray im wrong but there we are keep trying to get him to tell you the truth you deserve the truth Good luck to ya ,,,,James