Hanging by a thread

[Ejm7263]

Today has been hard. The methadone wd is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. Today I felt like "man I could make all these horrible feelings go away so easily". I feel horrible & I'm tired of it.
Then I stop & think how long I've been poisoning my body this is my just dessert. I'm such an addict I want to feel better now. I really want to go screaming down the street naked & with any luck get hit by a car.
Thank GOD you'll are here. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up clean & one day closer to feeling better.
Taking all your suggestions; thanks for giving them.

[Ejm7263]

Thanks. I'm going to a meeting every day. I got a sponsor & doing work. Time to get back to living. It's been a long time. But worth waiting for I'm sure.

[gnarly_1]

Hey well it is great to here your going to meetings  everyone needs the support of live people we do a good job on the internet but real human interaction is necessary get to as many meetings as you can try not to get discouraged you do get better in baby steps try a nice hot soak b/4 you go to bed  and if your not tired stay up get to the vidio store and rent some movies when you do start to sleep it will be a 1/2 hr here and there but it will be enough to keep you sain  just know that no one has ever dyed because of sleep deprivation  keep posting for support we all want to see you make it.......Gnarly.......

[Ejm7263]

It took me 2 hours to get dressed for my AA meeting today. No sleep, no energy. Thanks to your willing to share your strength I know it can & will get better. Thank you so much!!!

[Foursonz]

I don't have personal experience other than my beautiful son and the beginnings of his drug use. I know God loves you and hope you seek his grace.  You are a good person and there are lots of people rooting for you to stay healthy, as I am.  Find as much support as you can to help you through this.  

[gnarly_1]

Hey  been following your story and your doing great  methadone is a monster to kick  but we have several members myself included that have done it every day is a victory and I know it would be sl ez to make the pain go away but in the end it will only prolong things you just have to give it time  are you sleeping??? and how is your energy these two things where tuff on me I thought I would go insain from the lack of sleep and I barley had energy to walk just know it does get better with time the initial detox is about 10 days to 2 weeks but methadone seeps into the fatty tissues as well as the bones so it can take a wile to feel better keep posting for support and know every day is a victory....................Gnarly.......................

[Ejm7263]

Hanging in another day. I think today was the worse so far but I've made it. Thank you so much

[devisatedandscared]

Hey there...just checking in on you. I hope your beginning to feel a little better.

[weaver71]

You say you could make it all go away, so easy. That is addict thinking, as you pointed out . If life on methadone is so great, why would you want to quit. The truth is, life is half okay, at best, on methadone. We want to quit as we use, then we want to use as we quit. That is part of the insanity. Yes, what you feel is likely one of the hardest things you have experienced. I equate it to child birth. The pain is so intense, no one can even explain it. Once a mother holds that child in their arms though, the pain seems irrelevant. These are the birthing pains of a new life. Not easy, but worth it beyond words. To know true love, sorrow, forgiveness, integrity! What is more important than feeling good right now? Being true and honest, loving and being loved. That is what you are gaining right now. How can we even measure the cost of this benefits? We can't, so good for you for sacra fixing this short time to gain your whole spirit, mind, and body back. Thanks for being you, sure it hurts sometimes, but the joy is beyond expression. Hang tough, you deserve it!

[devisatedandscared]

Hi there...im so sorry your feeling so bad. I went ct off a heavy dose of hydro and it was pure hell...im feeling your pain. I know that methadone detox is even worse...i just can't imagine. Did you taper at all? Are you taking anything to alleviate some of the symptoms? Are you able to eat anything? I know I didn't eat anything but a few bananas in 6 days and I was so weak I was unable to walk. So please don't do that...instant breakfast was my lifesaver. I know its difficult to torture yourself when you know in your mind there is a way to make it end...but you have come so far..you can't give in to that little voice. I'm pulling for you in my corner of the world..keep posting..and stay strong <3

[Ejm7263]

Thank you, every post gives me new courage. It just seems like such a long road right now. I was on all this medicine for 7 years. I trying to stay focused on the new live I'll have.

[Ejm7263]

Don't worry I won't mess up our days I just had to vent. I'm trying to look forward. I will be so glad to be over this. This is truly of the devil. Thanks so much for your support.
Every time someone posts I get renewed. Thanks for caring.

[Amandag78]

Hey there, congratulations on your clean time !!!
When i detoxed subs, day 8 made me feel so relieved, because i looked back and realised, i did it, i actually got off Subs and although the ugh feeling was the hardest with 0 energy and motivation, i was clean of all substances. That made me feel extremely proud of myself and was enough reason to want it more : )
Im guessing coming off Methadone, you feel twice as bad as i did, but if you can make it past a week, i believe you can make your dreams come true.
Recovery is a difficuilt thing to conquer, your in the middle of it at the moment, but just hold on, because soon you will wake up in the mornings after a perfect night sleep, you will be able to go about your daily routine with ease and with a smile on your face... Please hold onto that thought.. Because it will happen.
Take care : )

[newoutlook12]

Hang in there you come way to far now to turn back. You have been doing so good it would make me so sad to see you mess that up. Just try to stay positive I know thats hard right now but it will help. There are online meetings, that might help some!