We cannot expect things to be right back to normal so fast. Actually by going through this whole process I personally have altered what normal is for me. and we all have, to some extent. normalcy began to change when we started using and then that became the norm. Once again, all of us here are trying to change again. And it takes time and patience and work. How can someone expect to fill their body and brain with these mind altering substances and just expect it to be ok when you stop? Keep banging you hand on the wall and when you finally realize how stupid it is and when you finally decide to stop.... The mark on your hand doesn't miraculously disappear. It takes time to heal! It might feel better some days but moving it the wrong way can bring back those painful feelings again. That's us and that's our addiction...
Your a very good writer and the things that you say always have so much truth to them and even though it's not always what I want to hear (like I wish things were ok again) it's real and it always puts a smile on my face. I look forward to reading your post.
113 days out,,,I still consider myself in recovery mode. I have come to terms with the fact that,,that will be my new normal. I will always be in recovery and it really is not such a bad thing,,It was awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning but finally feels "normal" again. For me,,quitting the pills in hindsight was the easy part. Being sober and living a sober life,,that is the hard part. I had to lose all my habits,,cut off my supply and cut toxic people out of my life,,Yes,,i grieved and missed them in the beginning but now,,,,I don't. You have the right mindset Mike!! Its almost like your body goes thru some kind of cosmic shift when you get sober. ~Bkitty
Thanks ImDone and Bkitty.... And what you said about quitting the pills being the easy part is so right on. The act of stopping , although powerful and hellish to go through, we soon learn that that is the beginning. It doesn't get worse by any means...incomparable actually! But it's an altogether different struggle and obviously longer than 5 or 10 days or 5 or 10 weeks for that matter! "Chasing Normalcy!" that should have been the header of this post.
someone once said to me"you dont become an addict over night,so dont expect to become drug free over night".
I think as addicts, were used to instant gratification from our DOC and when we dont get it from life ,we throw a tantrum.We need to learn a whole new way of thinking.And im still coming to terms with that!!!
Once again, you are right on the money, Mike. Today's society is so geared toward wanting it "right now." That's why so many of us are in debt! I am beginning to realize that the harder you have to work for something, the more you appreciate it. Not just overcoming addition, but anything in life. I remember when I went back to college to get my degree. I was a wife and mother and worked full time. Sometimes I wondered if I could do it. Yet, I kept on and I did and I felt so proud. We just have to learn to take things one step at a time. We can and will do this!
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