Can't turn my mind off

[tooter212]

I'm 108 days clean  have RLS and can't sleep. Even when I finely get my legs okay I can't turn my mind off. It's always a depressing thought. It hits me in my chest and gets me wide awake. My mind is jumping from one thought to another. Is this part of getting clean?

[ariley13]

Tooter, have you always had a problem with anxiety? Even before the drug abuse and detox? I'm asking because this sounds very familiar to me. I have always been anxious and suffered from occasional panic attacks. I have tried the medication route, but what really helped me was cognitive/behavioral therapy. This may still be the detox/recovery exacerbating something that has always been there. Have you talked with your doctor about it?

[Jimmy1975]

That does seem to  be out of the norm for being so many days  out from stopping . I would see a doctor to see if you do in fact have anxiety issues . Congratulations on 108 ! Stay strong . Jimmy

[tooter212]

Ariley, I don't remember. I just know I've got to do something!! I'm losing what mind I have left. I feel too bad to even shower most days. That's not like me. My teeth are almost chattering now and not from cold. I know it's from lack of sleep. I'm tempted to take the Ambien again, but I hate to do that. Thanks Ariley for you reply

[tooter212]

Thanks Jimmy. God Bless

[Dryan8313]

108 days!!! Wow... Congrats! So sorry you're not feeling well still. What did you detox from?
I spoke with a lady who said she was still sick 9 months after she quit. She finally gave in, took the advice of her doctor, and took an antidepressant and said that's exactly what she needed!! She was coming off of methadone though so that takes a lot longer than most drugs, to feel better/normal, etc.
Just a thought/suggestion...
Hoping you get some relief soon!!
Dee

[tooter212]

Dee, I was on hydrocodone 10mg 4 to 5 a day for 2 years

[CATUF]

Are you taking any over-the-counter medications?  It's easy to see that Recovery requires us to avoid our drug of choice and other "recreational" mood/mind altering substances.  However, I learned that I needed to avoid anything the had the effect of speeding me up or slowing me down.  At the top of the list was Sudafed (or anything that contained pseudoephedrine).  

I thought this was probably over-the-top, not truly necessary advice.  Nonetheless, I went along with it because after my 2nd rehab I was willing to do pretty much anything I was told.  But I found out that it was the real-deal when I accidently took a pseudoephedrine about 6 months in, thinking it was a non-pseudoephedrine generic.  My brain went into high gear and I could not turn it off.  It felt EXACTLY the same as that phase of coming down off coke where the high/pleasure is gone but there's a fast and humming buzz of activity that seemed to come from the center of my brain.

That was not only an objectively uncomfortable place to be, but it was far too much like the feelings of my life in active addiction.  It was like waking up in the middle of a using-dream.  Not a positive thing in early recovery.

Aside from unpleasant affects like that, many OTC items can be dangerous for recovering addicts because although they are not addictive themselves, they prime the brain for addiction or a return to active addiction.  One of the keys to finding sustained recovery is healing the brain chemistry, which is so disrupted by active addiction.  EVERYTHING I put in my body has some affect on my brain, so I really try to avoid all things that have a negative affect and make sure I get things that will have a positive affect.

In that regard, you might take a look at the book End Your Addiction Now, by Charles Gant, M.D.  In Chapter 4 (maybe 5) he has a series of questionnaires that will let you know what neurotransmitters deficiencies your brain suffers from.  Since pretty much everything our brains do is done with neurotransmitters, we need to have the right ones in the right amount.  Otherwise, we don't feel or think as we should.  Based on specific the deficiencies as shown by the questionnaires, Gant's book provides different combinations of amino acids and other supplements that are tailored to that deficiency.  I was on Gant's program for over 6 months and found it to be an important part of my early recovery -- much better than the one-size-fits-all approaches I've seen elsewhere.

Another important part of my early recovery was getting significant physical exercise.  Through about nine years of active addiction my exercise level had dropped to nothing, so I was horribly "out of shape" (aside from the depletion from addiction).  Exercise got me back in reasonable shape and burned off a lot of the stress that for me lead directly to racing thoughts.  Further, as my neurotransmitter levels came to "normal," exercise triggered the endorphin release that my battered brain so badly needed.

Of course, these are all self-help remedies.  Depending on how much you're suffering from this, you may need to see a professional.  Don't hesitate to do so if that's what you need.

CATUF
3159

[jugglin]

CATUF - what an amazing post with a ton of great info.  Tooter - I don't really have any advice but wanted to lend you support and let you know that I am thinking of you and saying a prayer for you to find the peace you are in need of...stay strong lady!

[Pat1956100]

Tooter
I can't believe you said that about your teeth chattering.  I have been experiencing that for a couple of months now and thought it was my body adjusting to Lyrica.  I feel like my blood is simmering as well.  Not hot but like it's bubbling inside of me.
It's a horrible feeling.

Catuf's post is fantastic as usual.  Let us know if you are taking anything OTC or prescribed.  Maybe it's something that isn't agreeing with you.

[clean_in_ks]

Hey Tooter....how many days since you took ANY Ambien at all?
Same question regarding the Amitriptyline?

Both those drugs have discontinuation syndromes when we stop them....they both mess with the neurotransmitters in our brains.  I had some horrible symptoms after going off the ami......just a thought~

[weaver71]

At 120 days my preexisting issues really came back. If it's not caused by any of the drugs mentioned above, I would seem addiction counseling or CBT. You have a lot of progress so far, this is just one more thing toward more growth and self exploration. I hope you can calm down. When something is t working, try something new. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Congrats
On 108 days.

[tooter212]

Thanks everybody!! Here's what I take. Advil, same-e, Plavix (blood thinner) and a Lipofen (chol) . I switched the Advil to Aleve (sp). It's been about two weeks off Ambien and a week off amitriptyline. I know I don't get enough exercise. We went to eat and when I got home I went to sleep in the recliner for 1 1/2 hours. I woke up with a headache but rested. Just hope I can sleep tonight. That's why I don't take naps, so I can sleep at night.  

[VICourageous]

Tooter You are just moving forward..I had that brain thinking going wild for many, many months..It just seems like we still go through some stages as we move forward. It took my a long time and many stages to come around in a good way. It does take time for all the wiring up stairs to adjust back from the removal of our stims. I am glad you are not doing the 2 other meds. Just keep pushing forward and it will all come together one day..I wish you peace and you should know that YOU are just going through the stages. One day at a time. The Light will get brighter & brighter...lol
PS I did try some "Mindful Tapes"..It does take time to slow the Brain down so we are able to do some type of Meditation. Ha! I need to start it up again..Since all my crisis that I have and had going on with all these deaths, I should be working on trying to slow down my Mind one more time..Bless

[tooter212]

VICourageous, I thank you so much for taking the time to read my post, you have so much on your plate right now. God Bless you. It's good to know it's just a stage I'm going through. I think I'm a lot like you, high strung, always moving or thinking about moving. LOL I will look into the meditation and try to slow down. (just the word "meditation" makes me antsy) I will try. Thank you, I pray things get better for you soon,

[weaver71]

The ambien and amitripilyne have not been out of your system long enough to remove them as reasons for some weird symptoms. I say give it time, join a gym or get a bike, whatever to keep you on a schedule of regular exercise. You WILL feel better, nobody knows when, but we can know you will. Keep up the good fight.

[tooter212]

Weaver, I can't walk that much because of leg and hip pain. My leg sizes up. Now that my feet are better I can walk the length of our driveway to the mail box..(about 110 steps ) I can do that several times a day to build up my legs. There is no way I could do a bike or gym. If I was younger I would go to the gym and try to get a program set up just for me.  

[tooter212]

Pat I'd be careful taking the Lyrica . Read the side affects. That blood boiling feeling sounds like RLS. Do you have the feeling that you have to keep moving or running?

[weaver71]

I mostly use the pool at my gym, and sauna. My back gets the siezing nerve pain, so I stretch in the pool and slowly started treading water, then laps. My pain is less and my last opiate was awhile ago, so I think the pain is less that on opiates, and definitely some time after I quit. The sauna is cleansing, but I do it more for the relaxation and temporary pain relief of being so relaxed. I had to work up to a bike to actually by a workout, but the kids can't keep up with me anymore. For now anyway. Biking can also be a social thing. You can bike and not feel you need to talk, it's just for the fun of it. Keep trying differ t things, you'll find what works for you.

[Whollymolythathurt]

Hi Tooter....sorry your having issues this far out.  Your "I can't turn off my mind off" struck a cord with me as iv'e battled it  for 25 years.  Unfortunately the only time i didn't was the last 3 years on hydro.  I exercise, read, & have done sleep studies..nothin.  I don't have depression or anxiety issues either.

Really hope your sleep gets back to normal cuz i understand what your going through with sleep.  I believe you'll get there.

[tooter212]

Weaver, we sold our house with the pool. Wouldn't you know when I need it I don't have it.  The poor circulation in my legs won't let me do a lot. The Dr. did say to keep moving though. So I guess its the walks for now. I'm just so weak. The CT W/D's was hard on this 71 yr old body. I lost 20 lbs. I was a lot stronger before it, now I just can't seem to get any strength back. I just got me a Boost drink. I guess I'm going to have to stay on them till I get my strength back. By the way, I wouldn't be caught dead in a bathing suit! I could wear a bikini till I was 55. No pot stomach. Oh the good old days. LOL  

[sohhs29]

I had anxiety issues the last time I went ct. I ended up getting 10 x 5mg valium from the Dr and it sorted me out in no time. I had that awful pounding in the chest that would NEVER go away. Tell the Dr - after this long - I am sure he can give you something to settle it down.

GOOD Luck, 108 days is awesome. I am day 36 so getting there.....

Keep going - you can do this!

[Pat1956100]

I have never had RLS from withdrawal but I have had it from Gravol.  It's always in my upper body.  This is different though.  It's like a little engine is running inside of me and my teeth just shatter.  Sometimes it's stronger than others.  
It does seem to be easing up a bit.
Here's hoping.

I really wish you would have more good days.  You deserve them.

[tooter212]

Sohhs, keep knocking those days down!! You doing it!!!!! Thanks for the heads up

[tooter212]

Pat, I grit my teeth all the time. I catch myself then relax my jaws. the next thing you know I'm doing it again. Pray yours gets better . God Bless