Step Backwards

[xxpinkyxx]

I gave in to temptation yesterday and took one 20mg oxy, I was just so sick of feeling tired and down all the time, I was 21 days clean and now I feel so so so bad!! help! x

[mtgoat911]

everyone who gets clean has to give up some responsibilities during detox, you can give up cleaning the house for a week or two, thats why having a good recovery network is so important to me, when i am sick i have several people i can call to help me with the house, or kids, when i was really sick at 2 yrs clean i was unable to drive and found rides from other recovering addicts

[newgirl286]

I'm on day 69 and my energy is still really lacking but not all the time.  I started a new job and cut down my hours because my health is the most important thing I need to concentrate on.  I am a new person, a better friend and employee than I could've ever been on opiates.  A month or two is a short time and remember you should probably be in a rehab somewhere where you only concentrate on staying clean and realizing why you were using.  It took a month before I realized how messed up my life had become, cause while I was using I thought I was handling things but in reality I wasn't.  Be proud of your fatigue because it's natural and take L-Tyrosine, that and 5htp helped me the most!  Take care...

[xxpinkyxx]

If I had energy I really dont i would have taken them again!! Its just I couldnt even pick up enough energy to clean my house, my heart would pound and I would just have to sit which made me think just one pill would sort me and it did for at least 24 hrs. But I really dont want to go back to the beginning again, I cant go through that again, w/d was the worst thing I have ever had to go through. need a magic wand. x

[mtgoat911]

everytime i relasped i learned something about my addiction, a relaspe means you/we are not doing enough to stay clean, what do you think you need to do different?

[ForgotRomans828]

Don't know where you are spiritually, but it is one thing I keep going back to each day when the tears come and I can barely drag my back-side out of the chair to go up stairs to my office, prepare a meal or even have a conversation.  I sit quietly, breathing slowly, praying, sipping hot tea and asking for the strength to fight the good fight.  You have an enemy and it's called "narcotics."  Fight it as you would any other.  Trust me, it is NOT your ally or your friend.  It seeks to rob, steal and destroy.  Don't believe the lie.
Please continue to seek out help here.  Again, I recommend you try the L-,Tyrosine, (I posted about it yesterday and you can read more about in the Thomas Diet.  The link is on the bottom right of this page).  I am taking 1,000 mg. with 100 B6 every morning and it has helped me tremendously.  My thoughts are with you.

[xxpinkyxx]

I did it again today!!! I feel so stupid, but its getting me through the day. I am feeling more like me and I have the energy to do my job, which is what I needed to do this week or I lose it by Friday! I have n appointment to see my councillor tonight so I have to be honest with him! I have ordered some Vit B6 capsules and also 5-HTP so they should be here in a few days. I havent any oxys left now and am so scared even to wake up feeling like its a battle everyday!  xxpinkyxx

[ForgotRomans828]

Just wondering if you have tried the L-Tyrosine mentioned in the Thomas Recipe.  Also a good vitamin and mineral supplement.
See below - taken directly from the recipe:

WD malaise - Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.

The "LIE" that the opiate tells us is that we perform better if we are cranked up on them.  I am coming to find that my work and my relationships have suffered more than they ever benefited; not to mention how I have taken years off my life.  
I have children too, and want to be alive for them.  I want to see them grow up and see what they make of their lives, so when I don't have the fortitude to stay clean because I care enough about myself, I look at them, and it gives me the courage to keep going.  Having said that, I should tell you that I am only on day 6, but I repeat my convictions to myself every morning, afternoon, evening and night.  I come here for the same.
You are doing amazing, so just keep up the good fight and forget about the speed bump!   ;)

[xxpinkyxx]

Thanks, My whole world just seems to be falling apart around me and I havent the energy to fight it!! Im supposed to be fighting to keep my job and I really just cant be bothered, all I can see is that i wont have to get up in the mornings to go through the tourture of going to work and ACT normal!!  I know Im probably not giving it enough time but NO ONE told me it would be like this, Yes I am SOOOO musch better than 2 weeks ago but I have children and they need me, Im not the mum I was on Oxys! cant run after them or have a social life either, Im Scared! x

[gizzy32]

Everyone is different in their recovery so it's hard to say. Like I said it took me a month before I started to feel better and from there it began to get easier and i started healing. Your 3 weeks now, minus 1 pill, don't talk yourself into this, you have come too far. I promise your energy will return, for most that is the last to come. Remember why you quit and how bad w/d's are. That one pill did not set you back physically, but as you can see it gave your addiction some life. Keep posting, we are here for you.

[xxpinkyxx]

How long does it usually take for energy to resume to anything like normal??  Im so scared I will start taking again as I just CANT cope with this anymore!! HELP Please x

[xxpinkyxx]

Will taking the one pill yesterday set me back a bit? I dont feel different physically but mentally I am torturing myself for being stpid. Can I take the 5-htp and vit B6 together? B6 are 100mg havent manged to get and 5-htp yet tho

[snowflake620]

please try the amino acid 5 htp it will help with what you are feeling,also the b vitamins are great and drink plenty of water plus the exercise even if you just walk around outside for about 10 or 15 min a couple of times a day you will fee so much better I promise,keep looking forward sweetie!
snowflake

[gizzy32]

Whatever you do, don't let this be an excuse to fall back. So glad you were honest about taking a pill, but chances are those lil mind games begin now. The energy for me took the longest, I felt so off the first month and didn't want to get out of bed. If you eat healthy, find some vitamins and supplements and force yourself to exercise you will see a difference. Just be patient, we don't completely heal after 3 weeks, but your so close to feeling like a new person now. I know it can be frustrating, but stay strong because all this hard work will pay off. One pill does not take away from what you have worked for, so keep moving forward, you can do this:)

[xxpinkyxx]

Thanks, I have order some high dose B6 capsules, do you think they will help? I need to start to get back to normal and soon. Things are going badly wrong in my life right now and I need to get a grip, I need the energy to care first! x

[Idiotlol]

Im sorry you are having such a tough time.I fell the same.After 6 daysI staterd taking a lot of the vitamines mentioned in the amino acid protocal. I know nothing about vitamines or how to get them but I went on the GNC website and just typed the names in thier search engine.It cost like $100 for everything on the list plus I got some sleep stuff.I fell so much better now.Much Much more energy.I also founf that If I woudl start to excersize I would get a little high and If I pushed myself hard enough and then laid down I woud get a rush of a high kind of like after sex. To be honest it only last about 10 minutes but it feels good.I guess its from being numb to everything for the last 10 years.Good Luck and keep pushing on

[10356]

I agree with snowflake.. one step back two forward.. I have relapsed like that and the guilt and anger at myself was way worse the the relief from the wd.. Pick yourself up and start again.. it is a process and one with many trials.. You are posting and that means a lot.. Don't beat yourself up just change the behavior.. when I crave I either walk or shoot pictures to take my mind off things,, You will not always feel tired.. energy does come back it just takes a lil time.. wishing you the best.. lesa

[snowflake620]

so now take another step forward and keep going I am sure just about everyone on here has taken steps backwards to get where they are today so don't beat yourself up about it just remember thoes 21 days and keep looking forward and post often stay strong,
snowflake