Day 3 Oxy withdrawal

[ctblues]

First time I have ever posted anything. I am on my 3rd day of oxy withdrawal. This is pure hell. Everyone knows the symptoms. I started using morphine in 2000 after an accident crushed my 4th vertibrae, I was on a pump. I learned how to manipulate the pump and after 7 weeks of 1000mg a week, I went ct. Worst days of my life. You think I would have learned from that. I am 53 years old, sober from alcohol 11 years. I started using percocet 10mg a day 1 year ago. I increased the amount and then went to oxy's. first 40mg a day to where I am now...100mg day. I have to pay street price. I decided to quit wednesday, it's friday morning. I just got a call letting me know they were available if I wanted some...I told him to never call me again. The crash isn't worth the high. I figure I am almost over the worst of this, maybe another 2 days max. I did get a visit from an old friend this morning, my first woody in 6 months...very interesting. There is no way I could have posted this the last couple days, I must be getting closer to the end...Unbelievable hell. I know I am doing the right thing, oh man it sure is tough, especially knowing a phone call will end all this...

[gnarly_1]

HI just wanted to say congrats on 24 days clean and passing a very hard test I cant even be around the bottle let alone handle the pills and I got 438 days clean you did great
my wife has a torn rotor cuff the doctor has been giving her percs 60 at a time
just the though of them being in the house drives me nuts she keeps them in a safe place well out of my reach but a trigger is a trigger you will learn what sets you off as you move along with this and yes get to a meeting and air this out.......Gnarly

[ctblues]

crazy thoughts..so many crazy thoughts went through my head in minutes. Like, clean for 24 days, a 40 would kick my ***. Or cut it in 2, 20 would do fine...I can handle it, I just quit, I can stop after a 40...

We can be our own worst enemy. I just read my post on day 3...a little reminder of how far I have come.

I need a meeting.

[ctblues]

Yeah, exactly. I was weak there for a moment. Sure glad I came here as fast as I did.

I had a moment, caught me by surprise. I handled it. I feel ok. Of course part of me romanced the high...I am good again. Flushed it down.

Just when you think you have it together...you get knocked down a notch.

I am ok, thanks for having my back.
ct.

[IBKleen]

How about this for a reason to stay clean, you wrote this 4 days ago:

"I had a wonderful Christmas. Received great news, my wife is American, I am Canadian. We have been apart for 14 months. She was cleared to come back to Canada!

I was told several times that I look good. One person told me I look 10 years younger, that would put me at 43! I said I feel 10 years younger and laughed.

During Christmas dinner an infant started to choke on food. I jumped up grabbed the child, turned her over slapped her back and she coughed the piece of food out.
I like to think I would have done that anyway, but in reality, I reacted much faster than I would have under the fog. It was all over in seconds and we went on with our meal.

My family looked so proud, I did all I could not to burst the buttons off my shirt, not for the reaction...but the way my family looked at me. Dad,Poppa& husband is back."

[ctblues]

I just flushed it. It's gone...problem solved.

Wow, that was scary. Ok, then...thanks for the reminder, and so quick too. You are so right...I just needed to think it through.

Not looking at it anymore.

Finding that pill wasn't very fair. I shake my head sometimes and wonder..how did that happen. Then I start thinking, ok...there may be more surprises hidden about. Be ready to handle it. I passed my first test.

Bugger eh...

[faith_hope_love]

PS>  You know what might help, go read posts of the people that are going through what you just went through right now.  You don't ever want to go back and have to do that again.  hang in there!  Remember, it takes time for your brain to heal and your emotions to get under control again.