update

[leeisgettingclean]

Everyone on here has been trew so much themselves, yet amazingly enough they try so hard to help others. I do know thats what is is all about, when you help others you in return help yourself. I feel that this time around, altough only at day 5, I am going to do it. I lisented to IBKleen (for some reason i get a feeling she knows a little about this sh*t) and did not save aftercare untill after i relasped again, i started counsiling and NA/AA the first day i come off my relapse. I had about 10 good clean days and thought "I got this beat, i can now take em only when i wanna" haha that was something else in me speaking. I know i am a newbie at this and have a way to go, however I just wanna say to those that are just cruising the site or new to site, this site is a breath of fresh air, no you are not always gona hear what you want to, but you will hear what you need to. And to all thats new with me, i can tell you that there are some on here that really know what they are talking about and when they talk , we NEED to listen. Addiction is something we will always battle, but you dont go to war alone so dont try to do this alone. Thank you to everyone how has helped me, love you all,

[Cassie415]

Hey,
Just wanted to say congrats on getting back up and starting over again. I have done that same thing many times, "thinking i had it beat" and trying it "once." But its admirable that you are trying again and that you are doing it differently this time. Congrats on your clean time! Keep us posted!!

[Oneredbead]

Hi,  I am so happy to see you here again.  I have been in a month long w/d with this tapering stuff.  Everyday I have been feeling like I have the flu.  I have been absoulty energyless and my emotions...all over the place.  I have my first theripest apt tomorrow. After that I have an apt. with an outpatient detox doc to discuss Suboxone.  I will be in the full CT thing starting tomorrow.  I am so scard.  Mostly scard of feelings!  What am I going to do with all those feelings!  I have missed so much work this past two months and I have created drama to get away with it.  I also ashamed of myself and the real feelings of shame haven't even started yet.  Well I am in it with you this time.  I was really happy to see your name on the post today!  I will keep intouch over the weekend and see how you are doing.
D~    

[Oneredbead]

Hi,  I am so happy to see you here again.  I have been in a month long w/d with this tapering stuff.  Everyday I have been feeling like I have the flu.  I have been absoulty energyless and my emotions...all over the place.  I have my first theripest apt tomorrow. After that I have an apt. with an outpatient detox doc to discuss Suboxone.  I will be in the full CT thing starting tomorrow.  I am so scard.  Mostly scard of feelings!  What am I going to do with all those feelings!  I have missed so much work this past two months and I have created drama to get away with it.  I also ashamed of myself and the real feelings of shame haven't even started yet.  Well I am in it with you this time.  I was really happy to see your name on the post today!  I will keep intouch over the weekend and see how you are doing.
D~    

[leeisgettingclean]

just want to thank everyone for being so positive. I am on day 6 and feeling good. I do not think my w/d were as bad after relapse, but not fun non the less. Anyways you men and woman are great people, if not for you all and this site i am 100%  sure i would not be were i am today, so for that i give "HUGS" to evryone. If you are reading this and you are still in beginning of w/d , just beleive me when i say it really does get better, and the phsical w/d are not that long, stick it out

[peaceinknowing]

Stick with it this time. This happens to everyone apparently, so don't beat yourself up over it.

[newstart730]

wow I had the same thought process on day 10 too (I can just take one here and there, etc.) and ended up in a relapse too. hmmm, maybe the people who say that you can't give in to that thought process are right? lol Now I get that recovery is a process not an event.  Once the worst physical stuff was over, I was left with the real issues for my use.  2 years of being numb, and they are still there.  I'm seeing a therapist now, and I "lost" my supplier's contact info.   I'm also trying to rearrange stuff that reminds me of using (i.e. I kept my pills hidden in my closet- rearrange the closet and it feels different).  I'm glad to hear that you are back, Lee, and I'm glad to be back too!  BTW, day 2 for me

[leeisgettingclean]

Hello everyone, just tought i would drop a line to say hello, and let everyone know that i am thinkin and praying for them.
Today is day 6 for me and i feel good. I worked a long day, but you know i think that working during your withdrawals help. I guess what I am really saying is that i think acepting your w/d for what they are( he*l) and making yourself go on with life, helps you stay clean. It gives you something to remember, i mean who wants to go trhow this **** over and over again, I know we all do it, and it is not planned, however i been righting every hour or whenever i can about the misery i go throw so when i think about using , i can look back on my writings and remember why i can not use. As the saying goes " one is to many and a thousand is never enough" that is so true for me. Anyways you all are in my thoughts and prayers

[BIKERDAD1963]

WTG, day 5. Keep with the meetings and fight the urge. An addict cant ever do a drug "occasionally". We do things in exess its just who we are. We learn from our mistakes and we live on. Good luck and keep going!