Day 5- from 200 mg hydrocodone a day to 0 ?

[mrT]

Just wondering when you start to feel any better ?  I have had a bad headache for about 3 days, that seems to be clearing up now. I have extreme body aches, sneezing, runny nose, even blurred vision ?  I have gotten some meds from my addiction doc to help with withdrawls.  They make me feel a little better - help me sleep anyway.  Phenobarbital, robaxin, stomach medicine, and oxazepam.  Don't worry - he only gave me 20 of each and will not refill unless absolutely necessary.  I have only posted here once or twice, but I read all the time.  This seems to be a good place for support.  I have been addicted to opiates for over 10 years - the SUBUTEX is almost available, and I may switch to that since it seems that I can never quite for good.  I have only quite for a few months at a time before.  I am 44, have a good job, 17 year marriage, and a 5 year old boy.  I don't have much to loose, do I ?  I am also pending charges on possession of a controlled substance - testosterone.  I like to body build, but being an addict I tried the easy way and got caught.  I hope if there are spiritual people on this site you pray for me.  I really need to get out of my legal troubles and addiction.

With love,
Tim

[daybyday]

Hello... This is my first posting. I am now 20 days clean from using Vicodin, 5-6 pills @ 10mg each per day for 5 months. It finally hit me, how unhappy I was and how this drug was running my life. I considered stopping several times, but continued to say, "I will do it next time". For those of you who are considering to stop this addiction, I wish you the very best and be positive, because you can do it.  I am so much happier with life and myself since I stopped.  The withdrawals were the worst thing I've ever experienced in life, but I was determined to live my own life, not Vicodin living mine. Nobody knew of this addition, until one night I called my husband while he was at work and told him this story.  He was, needless to say in shock!  I then called my parents and briefed them. I couldn't have done this without spilling the beans to my family, as I desperatly needed their support... especially through the withdrawals. We contacted my doctor who gave me an injection to help with the WD and enrolled me into an outpatient addiction program that helps somewhat. I am surprised myself, but I really don't have any "cravings". My therapist said that is normal, some people don't experience the cravings.  I am blessed for that. Believe in yourself, because you have the strength to quit and consider to tell your loved ones of your addiction.  There is absolutely no way I could have quit without telling my family.  Good luck to you!

[athena]

Hi smiley
I really havent overcome the fear of living without hydro.I't is STILL one of the first things I think of when I get up in the morning UGH!I want it every day.I guess i've just decided to get through one day at a time and hope this craving keeps getting less untill it goes away.The people here are helping me do that with their encouragement.I hope you stick around.I really think you can get through this with people who understand and wont judge you.Hope you have a better day today.

pixi

[smiley77]

Thank you so much for your advice, sometimes you truly feel like your all alone, but after reading some of these stories, I know that I am not only the one that has these addictions. I do have to ask you. How did you over come the fear of not bieng able to handle your life without these medications. I dont understand why the doctors keep giving this medication, when they know what the outcome will be. I trully love my children, sometimes I just feel like I cant handle the day with out this pink pill that seems to make the day easier to deal with.

                                  sincerely smiley77

[smiley77]

Thank you so much for your advice, sometimes you truly feel like your all alone, but after reading some of these stories, I know that I am not only the one that has these addictions. I do have to ask you. How did you over come the fear of not bieng able to handle your life without these medications. I dont understand why the doctors keep giving this medication, when they know what the outcome will be. I trully love my children, sometimes I just feel like I cant handle the day with out this pink pill that seems to make the day easier to deal with.

                                  sincerely smiley77

[athena]

hi alan

today must be day two for you.It is really hard but you can do it.let the people here help you.Day 2 and 3 were the worst but it will soon be over (physical part).if you post at the top,more people will see it and be able to give you encouragement through this tough time.Good luck,I'll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

pixi

[DIRTBAG]

thank you for responding, yesterday I took 15 vicodin I couldn't believe it I didn't even feel it until I took 12.  Crazy, so far today I've taken 10 and 4 darvocet, I hate darvocet but its better than nothing I tried a taper a couple of week ago I could have done it but I just give in when I can get my hands on some.  I said in an earlier post I recently made a connection at a recovery meeting!  That was bad, now my plan is to take this 6 day vacation at the end of the month and taper before I go and kick in Chicago.  I've done it when I'm away before and for some reason I don't feel so sick as when I stay home. Probably because I can let all my responsibility slide.  I'm glad your healthy.  Peace Debbie

[athena]

I just now noticed your post.As far as flushing the pills,I would have never done it on my own.It was not something that i could have done on my own.When I knew that goldenbear was in the same predicament as I was,I just felt like I had to be strong.i have come to really care about the people here and I felt like I couldn't let them down.not that it would have,but I wanted to prove something to myself also.You are a lot stronger than you think.When the time is right,you'll just know it.in the meantime,were all here pulling for you.

pixi

P.S
GB flushed first!lol

[AlanW]

I'm on day one of hydros!  I spent a couple of weeks moving and tapering off and today is the first day.  I kind of feel good, but definitely in a cold sweat all the time.  Thansk to all on the board.  I know it will be hit or miss and now that I've moved I don't have my docs anymore.  Let's see if I can make it.

Take care

[DIRTBAG]

How can anyone flush pills, I am astounded that two people have built up such a trust and friendship in each other on this web site to pull off such a thing.  I congradulate both of you but somehow it makes me feel like even more of a failure, how selfish is that.  The truth is I'm here talking about it but I think sometimes I will always take pills because reality and the life I've created sucks and I care so much but I'm such a phony that I can never recover, is it a pitty party or just fact as the story unfolds

[smiley77]

hi, this is my first time. I am a bit scared I'm currently taking loritab 10mg, about 5-6 per day. I'm noticing that I have become a different person, when I start coming off the medication, I get crumpy and tired. It feels thats the only way I could make it through the day. I deal with pain from the waist down, and have alot of tension headaches. I have been revolving my life around these pills. I dont want to die from taking these pills, I pray that some one can tell me how I can get away from these. I know I have to stop, because in a month I take up to 180 pills, then my doctor just gives me refills when I ask for them. If anyone can tell me a way that can get me away from taking these, please let me know. I have 4 wonderful children, and I want to be around for then when they grow up. I feel like I'm a drug addict. I pray every day to get the strength to stop, but I just dont have the power.

                    sincerely,
                    smiley77

[Goldenbear]

I dumped them at 1pm and darted out the door to work out and watch my 5 year old in Tae Kwon Do. I hope you did the same. I felt so much better after I hammered my body in the gym and thought about what I did. I felt as good flushing the greenies as I did on my 5th day when I knew I had the addiction under control. Wew as addicts have to test ourselves differently than having possesion of our poisen.
When I told my wife she cried in front of 30 people in the class my son was in... Afterwards she put both hands on my face and said "welcome back sweetheart, now I know your done with those things" Way too emotional for me... I am incapable of processing how I feel... Happy, but still uncomfortable. Too weird.
I hope you are doing well. Keep posting.
Goldenbear

[bmac]

I wasn't that kind of busy lastnight.lol I was out playing and didn't get back home until 3 this morning.God knows these college kids should find something else to do but drink and party all night long.Oh well,I rememeber those days myself.
I'll be pulling for the vols today.We don't play until next
week,then it's you all.
                          go vols
                           bmac

[athena]

Ok gb,heres the deal.It is 2pm here right now.How about we flush them at 2:30 est.I can do it if we do it together.We have come to far do go back now.Day 16 for you 15 for me.If we can do this,then we know were gonna make it.You are grrreat too and you have helped me more than I could ever tell you.2:30 ok?

pix

[athena]

Out till 3am?Well we gotta do something now that were straight lol I wouldn't go back to my college days for anything.If given half a chance,i'd probably screw up my life worse the second time around.lol Yeah we really need you to pull for us today.I'll be in the tides corner next week.Glad you have the energy to hang with the college kids.

pixi

[bmac]

I didn't have the energy to hang with them,they were paying me to hang with them.There's a difference.I was playing in a bar right in the middle of a college town.I felt like I was half of thems,father.I even had one guy say I'm sorry sir as he bumped me going out.I said sir,hey my dad isn't here.lol.Oh well
I guess as long as they pay me I'll play for them.
                           go vols
                            bmac

[Goldenbear]

I think we are crazy to keep them. Just looking at the full bottle, shaking them is the same excitement I feel when my wife puts on lacy lingere. I kind of wanted you to make a deal with me. I am going to flush these greenies at 1pm, that is about twenty minutes from now. If they are here I'll eat them 30mgs at a time. I cannot go through the WD again. Once they are gone I can go through how difficult it will be to get more which is a great external control.
By the way I think you are great. Your posts help me alot.
Goldenbear AKA David

[athena]

You did it!I did it! good for us.You were smart,heading out to do something with your family.Your wife sonds just as sweet as you are.Im proud of us both.Yeah,it was a little emotional for me,like an end to what I thought was a friendship made in heaven (me and hydro) I know that in time this mental addiction will go away.Im so glad I found this place.I really fell as if I have friends who understand me and really care.I have come to care about each and every person here,although some of you are truly special.Have a good day with your family gb.

pixi

[athena]

Man what a job!I had forgotten that you are a bass player.Excitement and college kids..The only drawback would be temptation but you seem to have a handle on that.Were losing 2-0 but hanging in there without our qb and front line.Have a good afternoon.

pix

[perfecto]

I have been on Hyrdo's 10mg for almost 2 years. I came off cold turkey 3 weeks ago. I am shaking and irratiable and sometimes get confused. How long will this last. I was taking about 5 or 6 10mg's a day. I have days I seem like I am going to feel ok and others I wonder if I am going to make it. I have a great job and can not go into rehab. I have Phengran to take at night to help me sleep. Is this normal. I shake really bad and am having muscle spasms. Help!!!

[Goldenbear]

Good for you girl. Dumping the poisen will make it easier to stay on course.
I went out and bought myself a rehab present today. A new Sony VAIO DVD, CDRW decked out LapTop. My primary reason to have it is to take to work.... my internet activity is my own business and who knows who is looking over my shoulder. This way I can stay in touch without being nervous.
Enjoy your day. I'm proud of you.
Goldenbear

[rooney30]

The shakes at night are totally what happens at first. I was taking just one Tylenol PM at night, and that at least allowed me to get 5 hours of sleep. I haven't posted here in about a week, and wish that I had, b/c i sort of fell off the wagon this weekend. Jumping back on tomorrow though. Totally mind over matter after the first few days of shitty withdrawal. I KNOW at this point that my body is over the addiction, and it took like 5 or 6 days to get to that level. Now, when I pop a couple (and I know I shouldn't be) I just get the buzz that I used to get when I first started the lortabs. It's almost like I'm rewarding myself b/c I've gone through the worst part now. I went from 7 to 9 lortabs/day down to 1 or 2. Still haven't stopped CT,but I know that I will at some point. Hang in there with your quitting, and keep posting here b/c it's totally the best support that I could have turned to w/out going to rehab. By the way,did you know that rehab is for quitters? lol...saw it on a bumper sticker once, and had to laugh b/c of what I or we are all going through. Take care.

[athena]

I posted to you a couple times last night but you were probably a busy guy 'wink 'wink.I hope your day is going well there in tide land.today is the Dawgs.Im not sure if we have a prayer but i'll be keeping an eye on it for sure.

pixi

[athena]

Good morning gb.I know we should flush them or we'll just have to start over.I hate being so weak around those things.I am really afraid that im going to mess up.My mind keeps telling me that I can just take this one script and get off them for good....My mind has told me that many many times though and it was WRONG!We have to be strong gb,we have made it through the worst.Thank God we all have each other for encouragement.Do you ever shake just knowing their around?I never want to go through all that running around,looking for hydro,lying to my dr.,Taking them from my family etc. etc. etc. We will do this gb.hang in there.You grumpy?lol
Hey CinCee where are you?Get in here and give your 2 cents!Peaz,let us have it for thinking this way.

pixi

[deva]

ive been watching these posts for over a month.ive gotten off meds before,although im on them now,i remember the scence of pride i felt while one day driving down the road and counting 3 weeks since i took meds.i smiled so widly the other drivers must have thought i was high,well i was,but on true happiness.id say give yourself the chance to experience your true joy,the depression will fade,and youve done so well.i think it was good of your wife..smart of her,and kind.i dont think id flush them,id give them to her and tell her to hide them from you.do you have legit pain?maybe one day someone will need them.good luck and good job,love deva..i know you can do it