Day 60 and I cant freaking believe it!!

[Teresa1717]

Im on Day 60 clean from pills and Im still having trouble sleeping! WTH! lol But I cant believe I made it here. This is MY first milestone I made for myself! I knew that if I could get here, I would be ok.I first posted here 59 days ago, lost, deseperate, out of control and just overall a hot mess! Pills had taken over my life and I was on a very fast moving train to my final rock bottom. I had relapsed many times and knew that I had to do something different. So after lurking for quite some time I decided to post and voila! I got such an incredible amount of love and support from so many strangers! People who didnt know me, but only my story because it was the same as most. I had people who had been clean for only a few days, to a few years lift me up and tell me I was going to be ok. And you guys were right!

It hasnt been without struggles though. The last 30 days I have had more downs than ups, and at times felt like giving in was my only option, but again, you guys wouldnt let me fall and each time I conqured a new hurddle
I felt stronger and more prepared. Ready to really take ahold of sober life and know that this is where I want to be and DESERVE to be!

I also have to stress how important aftercare of some sort is for all you guys who are just starting out and who are also chronic relapsers. For me, having this forum was AMAZING, but if I hadnt also started counseling and going to AA meetings, I know without a doubt I would have relapsed when the going got tough.

So let me just say Thank you, Thank you, Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you on this forum!  Some of you though, I owe a piece of my life to because you saved it and you know who you are! Im forever indebted to you!

Before I go and try to get some more sleep, here are a few quotes and phrases I have heard (some in passing and some directed to me) that have stuck with me...

~getting clean is the easy, staying clean is the tough part
~Any bad day without pills, is better than any good day with them
~The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results
~Using is NOT an option
~Today is the tomorrow that we worried about yesterday

and of couse my personal favorite

~dont be a *******!  :)

[Teresa1717]

Bright- i did! I went to a meeting and got my 60 day chip!!! :)

Sweettooth- you're the best! Thank you for inspiring me too!! :) youll get to 60 before you know it!

[toothfairie]

CONGRATS GIRL!!  you are such an inspiration to me and others....and i love your sense of humor....kinda twisted like mine!! hahaha....and the sailor mouth too!!  keep up the good work girl!!  you soooo deserve that 60 day chip!!  so proud for you!!  i'm struggling my way there but i will get there too!

xoxoxoxo  

[Brightfutureahead]

Congrats Teresa hope you did lots of nice things for yourself today!!

[Teresa1717]

Awww Thanks honey! I think its pretty awesome even if it was wierd :) I guess maybe its just me thats wierd then!! hahaha

[ImDONENoMore]

It's not weird.  It's perfect.  :)

[Teresa1717]

Ohhhhh My sense of humor will never die!! lol Thats the one thing that has gotten me through life! My motto is, If you cant beat 'em, laugh at 'em! :) The Sailor mouth though, My mom wishes I would curb that a bit ! LOL

And Thank you!!! I am super proud of myself today!!  And even more proud that  got my 60 day chip!! I never got my 30 day beecause I didnt go to a meeting then, so this is my first one and Its scarey how proud it makes me to have! Wierd huh??