advice from a newly recovering opioid-user

[crystallia]

I have been fighting a growing pill addiction, using everything from morphin, methadone, oxycontins, and vicodin. I have been sober for almost 8 days now and was most recently taking about 10 vic-10s a day.  I've quit and relapsed many times, but this time, I have more confidence in my recovery due to a few reasons. First, (and please don't let this scare you away), I asked God to help me because I knew I couldn't quit alone and He opened my eyes to what could help me.  For my depression symptoms, I discovered St. John's Wort and 5-HTP-these really helped me combat some of the anxiety and hopelessness I'd been feeling using and wd. Four days into wd, I found a vic in my wallet. I knew I probobly would take it and soon, so I asked God for the strength to resist. Crying and emotional, I turned on the Christian music tv channel, hoping for anything that would stop me-(I knew that even one pill would take me back to that 1st day of wd), and a song called "Cry out to Jesus" was playing. It gave me the hope I needed to grab the pill and run to the bathroom and flush it. I sat crying afterwards, with my 2 little kids in my arms-it was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, but I knew it signified a new beginning for me. The Christian music stations have helped me a lot, and if you've hit rock bottom, it couldn't hurt open your heart to what God can do. A good song is by "Plumb" , with the lyrics "I can't do this by myself". A verse I "just happened" to find on one of these message boards also helped-  ( Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.)  

For the physical wd symptoms, I know that eating healthy and often helped a lot, taking a multi-vitamin, calcium-magniseum-zinc supplements, iron, ginko, and the St. John's Wort and 5-HTP. Potassium supplements or bananas will help w/ muscle cramps and muscle relaxers helped me some, but you need a script for those. I had neck pain for about 5 days and I think the Naproxen I tried made it worse. If you can do any type of exercise, it REALLY helps. I'm fortunate that our apts. have a pool and I found that swimming can help all-around.

I'm only a week into recovery and I know I'm not out of the woods by any means, but I have a newfound clarity about my life-and I can see where I will end up if I don't quit. Recently, a guy that I used to buy vics from died from either a heroin o/d or someone poisoning him with fake heroin. His life and death was so tragic-after earning a masters and another bachelors degree from a prominent university-(apparently he had the credentials to practice law), he got addicted to pain pills and when he couldn't find those, he used heroin. He was in his 30's. I hated how drugs made me so dependant on others who were only looking out for there own best interests-this is one of the big dangers of using. Anyways, I could see myself in his shoes down the road because I know the desperation that comes with addiction-I could no longer say that I would be out of heroin's reach.

I don't know if this message can help anyone-I know that everyone is different, but I am convinced that ending the ongoing torture of using must start with the right mindset-which I found by accepting that I am powerless to pain pills and that the strength to quit can only come from looking outside of myself. I've always believed in God but haven't been very religious. I now know that if open to Him, God can permanently fill the void that any man-made drugs have been temporarily filling. After all, He did create us, so He should know how to fix us.

Thanks for listening

[beachtowel]

Welcome to the forum...
One week most of your w/d symtoms should be done.......

The easy part is quitting your pills the very hard part is not taking them anymore......
You need an aftercare plan.......do you have one.........
God helps those who help themselves...what are you willing to do for your recovery??????

[crystallia]

I'm hoping to find some support through a church and family. I thought of attending NA, but you're right -after the physical symptoms are gone, the cravings are different, but harder. I geuss it has to do with the physically altered state of the brain. I realize that the recovery process will be a life-long one.

[beachtowel]

Like anything else there are good N/A meetings and bad ones..........at first try an N/A meeting with an open speaker, try some different meetings............
Seeing an addiction counselor helps too...

[fishmeal]

Crystallia,  There are 12 step meetings called, "Overcomers" that are Christian.  To be honest, that's is where I feel most comfortable because I am a Christian.  Greater is in us....  

Here's a nice place online for the Bible...

http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/index.php?action=getVersionInfo&vid=31#books

There is also Christian 12 step forums out there:

http://christians-in-recovery.org/

God Bless you!
Jim