DAY 10...DOUBLE DIDGETS BABY! LOL

[Jammerson1906]

Lordy lordy look who made it to day 10!!! MEEEEE:)))
Had a lightbulb moment this morning.....During my pill use, and during the first 8 days of my detox, it was in my EVERY EVERY THOUGHT!!! Every moment was spent either trying to get the pills, using the pills, or trying to get off the fricken pills!!! Yesterday, and today, my mind is MINE!! Did not think about it yesterday...and did not even realize that until today!!! I am finally, for the first time is soooo long, in control. Me, the real me, not the doped up pill popping addict I was. Is it perfect?? Nope, still have my bouts of anxiety, and dealing with raw emotions, but I am dealing. I am functioning. I am free of the shame and moving forward. I will forever be an addict, and could never ever take narcotics again, but I no longer feel like I need to to survive!!!
God bless all and if you are in this HELL, know you will see the light on the other side:)))

[Jammerson1906]

My heart goes out to you.. I will tell you, while detoxing my pain was HORRIBLE!! The back pain, leg cramps, all horrible. I almost refilled a perscription, did not believe the pain would get better in time. The rebound pain. I am here to tell you it does!! I have a horrible back, and the last 2 days Advil has been the only thing I needed! Funny, 10 days ago I needed up to 20 Norco to live! I also crushed my pills up.
They destroy our lives...the never ending obsession on how we are going to get them, how we are going to pay for them.... isolating ourselves from those who love us most, the shame is unbearable. If you are able to share, with anyone you trust, who loves you unconditionally, then do that. Your parents?? Why replace the pills, why not get clean and share your success story with them? Every family is different, maybe yours will be the understanding kind.
DO NOT BUY MORE PILLS, DO NOT EVEN GIVE THIS OPTION TO YOURSELF!!! It will NEVER end, NEVER!!!! The pills will last a day or two, or an hour or two..and you will be here again, and again!!! You can do this!!! I wanted to die!! Literally, wanted to die. Today, I WANT TO LIVE!! I am becoming the person i totally forgot i was before the pills.
Funny how we all use the "flu" during detox! Everyone detoxes differently, I had to go cold turkey, felt like tappering was just prolonging the inevitalble for me. But, everyone has to do it the way the feel they can succeed!!
You relapsed, so did I. I was clean for 6 months. Had a medical issue and thought I could handle the narcotics, boy was i wrong. You said the high was great.....thats what I thought too. Now, looking back, not so great!!! The first hour, great, then wanting, needing more...almost immediately. Then the obsessing starts, when-how will i get more. That is not great!! Let me tell you what is GREAT- waking up in the morning, the sound of my children, cup of coffee, breakfast.... a hot shower, housework, errands, phone calls from friends and loved ones....ALL OF THIS CLEAN!! No thought of the devil pills....I am present, in every moment. I am feeling the hot water, I am feeling myself laugh, I am feeling sadness, true happiness. No numb- life is just great!!
DETOXING AND WITHDRAWLS IS HELL....DEEP DARK SCARY!! BUT, it is not forever...it does end. You can take back control of your life, your mind.
I am thinking of you and praying for you.......YOU CAN DO THIS:)))

[Mike88388]

Ok, I'm known as a good guy, but about three years ago I started taking percs just to make my work days go by faster and better, I'm 29, and wrecking my life, I have now been on oxies for the past year, I am use to taking about 4-5 80's a day, the past week I have taken my dose down, cuz it's killingy pocket book, I'm on day 3 of just taking percs, I ate 32 of them 3 days ago, then yesterday only 12, I ate 10 at once then 2 later that night, today I just ate 4, I feel like crap, back is sore, I just wanna die, I'm off work "sick with the flu" I have quit about 2 months ago for 2 weeks, but relapsed, cuz let's face it, the high is great, I'm hoping the 4 percs I just ate will take my pain away, Mann I hate this, it's wrecking my life, I'm hanging out with complete losers that shoot up and smoke them and are all jobless there whole life, my normal people i'ny life are wondering what's going on with me, I'm always broke, been stealing pills off my parents, went into there house when they were on vacation, and took a bunch of pills and jewlery, I took the jewlery to gold for cash and went and bought pills, I have mazes out my credit cards of $12,000 and I owe money to everyone, and i have sold off all my possesions i soldy $3800 hunting rifle for $500, I have no girlfriend , I'm alone i'n life and have thought of ending it a few times, so I decided to try and quit again, I will be off work for the next 5 days and I'm hoping that this will give me enough time to gather myself back to normal, well atleast through the pain, I've been checking the mail everyday for my income tax slips, so I can get some cash to go buy a bunch off pills to replace my parents with, and I was also thinking of mabey seeing if I can go with eating mabey one 40 oxie a day, or just quit period, I'm hoping mabey eating just a few ps a day until I can totally get off them. But from going from 5 oxie 80's a few days ago to just 4 percs today is a big change and I'm hurting, just want the pain to go away, someone told me to eat a bunch of bananas cuz the potassium i'n them will kill the back pain and leg cramping, I only ate the pills, and don't snort them or shoot them like other people I see just to get them, I wish I could just quit at the snap of my fingers, I also wanted to tell my doctor about this bit of I did, he would cut me off on my Xanax prescription and I really need them for my anxiety, anyway any words of advice or support anyone can give me will help me, so anything at this point now, would be great, thanks and by for now.

[Decisions]

Good for you!  Congratulations..  don't look back, and keep moving forward with a positive outlook, and your days will get better and better!

[RnTgotitbad]

hey good to see ya , we missed you on day 9 for you.we are on day three and feel like were living in a fog, we both had leg cramps and i had arm cramps (balling fists and releasing them) we r very tired and have no emotions....just feel like were living outside our bodies just a fuzzy exsistince.. thanks for your post,it inspiration :)

[tingtongtom]

Keep it up :) you are well in the clear and obviously have the determination and hatred for those pills now. I wish you all the best and remember, just do not go back to square one when you are now firmly heading further away from those dark times :D