Codene addicted

[Bandog]

Well here goes, I've been addicted to Codeine for approx 16 months . I hard a lot of bad things happen over the past 10 years. I got injured last year sometime took Nurefon & before I knew it I was using it for Mental relief. Bad move. I guess the rest is clear. I've been reading these post & they help to read them a lot . I quit last week 5 days & then another bad thing happened as I'm already down & started again. Back now 3 days. I've made up my mind to stop tomorrow as I can see its damaging my life more . The biggest problem I have is the depression I get in deep thoughts that I'm going to be depressed for the rest of my life & won't get better ?????????????.  It scares me & then I start having suicidal thoughts. So thank you for listening . Even confused as to why I'm writing . I think I will try the tapering down method ?

[Bandog]

Thanks CJ , trying.. GB

[Cj1023]

I have had a problem with depression for years.  The only thing I have found to help is to keep busy.  The nights are the worst for me being alone is not easy when your depressed.  But get into a gym, go for a walk or run, if you can't do either get a punching bag; anything that gets that addreneline (don't know how to spell that) going.  It really does help. Good luck to you.

[Bandog]

Thank you everyone is a great support . Concentrating  on curing this depression & ill be a happy when it goes .

[Nighthawk61]

Bandog and Butterbean, You're both on the Hero's journey. God be with you.

[Bandog]

Thankyou GB

[neveragainplease]

This is a great place for support. I don't know what I would have done without it.

It is definitely scary and uncomfortable to go through withdrawals and detox but it can also be a time when you meet new friends and change your life. There are stories on here I'm sure you ran across about cold turkey heroin withdrawal and iother stuff that is inspirational.

Just remember no matter if you choose to taper or cold turkey or even if you're not quite ready to quit, you'll always have these awesome people on here. There is one answer, which is to go clean, but a lot if ways to get there.

You can and will get this done!

[Bandog]

Yes , they've been great. I just hope the depression will go .

[dominosarah]

So your family knows about your addiction?

[Bandog]

Hi . I am with my brother for now . I'm not quite sure if they understand exactly or even how I can explain the way I am ???

[dominosarah]

Is someone there with you that can help during this time?

[Bandog]

Hi , it's sounds that your progressing . I'm so happy for you . Keep going . You are right . I'm struggling bad with the depression . I try to be optimistic . I wake up in the mornings hoping its gone but not yet . I hope it does because I have to push through the days not easy . So I pray & keep moving forward . Stay safe & strong x

[butterbean841]

Hi Bandog
hows it going? Hope you're hanging in there! I'm now on day 14 and haven't been posting very much (but reading other posts lots) I couldn't believe, for someone who usually doesn't suffer depression how dark my thoughts got at moments during this journey. So if you are still hanging on and coping with depression at the same time well.....well done you! Yesterday was my first time out. Went for the fortnightly shop and came back exhausted with the mother of all backache....willed myself to stay awake until 10pm then guess what? I SLEPT FOR 4 STRAIGHT HOURS!! might not be much to some but for me it was a miracle! I guess what i'm trying to say is we all have our own ideas of which is the worst w/d symptoms for us but how wonderful it is when it seems finally that things do have a chance of being where you want them to be. I'm full of energy this morning and whilst i realise it may not last i feel as though i have turned a corner and am heading in the right direction. Wishing you clarity and good karma. x

[Bandog]

Just wanted to say thankyou to everyone for there support ....

[butterbean841]

Hi there
How are you doing today ? It's now nearly 4 days since my last codeine. I'm starting to feel better...the headache is coming and going but not constant as it was in the beginning and immodium is helping to control the bathroom side of things! For some strange reason i feel quite energetic but weak if that makes any sense? i mean i'm setting myself little goals...sometimes as simple as changing the sheets but then i'm exhausted after it!! Still....i didn't do this to myself overnight so i can hardly expect to be "cured"in an instant. Sleep is still as and when but i'm just going to be kind to myself and let my body dictate the pace. Anyway...hang on in there i'm sure if you can stick at it just a little longer you'll turn the corner...just imagine how proud of yourself you'll be when you do!
wishing you hope and determination x

[Bandog]

Hi everyone . It's all starting to happen . Not much I can say right now but Thank you for all the support . I'll just keep going day by day . I hope this helps others.

[toothfairie]

No you're not alone!  and glad you are seeking help from your doctor....you can do it...just keep posting here for support ....this is a great site for it and info!  good luck and let us know how you are doing...we can help you with any symptoms you may have.  

[Bandog]

Good morning , well woke up 14 hours since last tablet . Booked into doctors . Very lost & confused. But positive with the afraid part. Going to take the legal dose until I see doctor then half that tomorrow . Thanks again . Helps your not alone

[nursegirl6572]

Keep posting!  We're here to help and support you!  You can do this!  :0)

[Bandog]

Hi & thank you for your post . It really moves me that people I don't know care . You've also gave me that bit more courage that you are getting your life back . I've tried a couple of times . But fall when something bad happens. I have felt the withdrawals so I guess tomorrow I won't be so talkative . Gulp ! . I will continue to post as I hope you will. With gods blessing we can all help each other . I hope you have a better night & Thankyou once again x

[butterbean841]

Hi There
I'm off codeine for 47 hrs now. My addiction was over 10 yrs at 160mg daily at it's worst. This site has been a godsend for me, i knew what to expect, although symptoms and intensity do vary from person to person.
Last night was a bad one....the mother of all headaches from teatime until about 1am...so bad if someone had offered to cut my head off with a blunt saw i'dve thanked them!!!  i managed to fall asleep until 3.15am then woke with severe stomach cramping.. spent the rest of the night in and out of the bathroom. Finally felt okísh a couple of hours ago and managed to fall asleep. I sympathise with your dark thoughts...i personally don't suffer with depression but i admit to wondering to myself during the night if it's worth it.There are so many inspiring stories on this forum of people with much worse addictions than myself that i know if i can see this through there is light at the end of the tunnel.I just want my life back and if i can help anybody else at the same time i will. I wish you luck and lifes blessings with your journey and know you will find a way through this if you want it enough. x

[Bandog]

Thank you so much ....

[meegWpaw]

oh one more thing Bdog!  and im so glad your going to get profl help!  what a great step that will be for you!  I guarantee you will feel so empowered after that.  it's great to be validated and listened to by a professional.  Yes I was terrified when I started that taper.  I was soooo scared.  But just see it thought, it really does get better.  And the depression, I just wanted to tell you one more time, its like, the fear of the depression is worse than the actual depression.  I'm not going to tell you its a walk in the park, but it is able to be dealt with.  You will be a lot stronger as you get more clean and you will be able to fight it, and especially with some help you will have resources.  Use this site, too, the people are great and they will help you.  My depression really did get better.  I know you can do this, Bdog.  Have a good night.  :)

[Bandog]

Thankyou for your help . Yes pills, back on again .ive tried a few times. I mean the depression that comes makes me feel like its going to be there forever in some way. That I won't get better. Although after reading other post it seems normal of withdrawal. Thankyou for explaining it won't. Thankyou once again. I've read about the tapering I feel I can discipline my self tapering, although scared???? Going to seek professional help tomorrow after your advice. God bless

[meegWpaw]

Hey B dog you have a lot going on.  Good for you for posting here that took a lot of courage.  First off if you are having suicidal thoughts you need to call a professional organization or hotline right away!  or get yourself to a hospital.  Those feelings are not ones to eff around with.  Also, everyone on here will tell you, you need to get rid of all the ... is it pills?  get rid of whatever you have so you aren't tempted to keep going back and forth.  I tapered and my initial time I got clean it worked really well for me, but I was extremely disciplined about it.  I don't think we can give much advice about tapering so I won't say more.  I'm a little confused about what you mean by 'back three days' and then that you will stop tomorrow?  Anyway, depression is a very valid concern.  I have always had a constant low level depression but my depression and related feelings were worse when I used.  Similar to you, I worried a lot about the depression which just exacerbated it.  Once you're completely off pills and you're clean for a while, the depression will abate.  I don't think it's really constructive to engage in all those tormenting circular thoughts about the depression.  Look towards the future.  It's going to get better, and getting off the drugs is the key to achieving that.  It's great you posted.  Stick around and give people a while to respond.  There is a lot of help here for you.  Hope you're doing okay!