Mental help

[tavia14]

Hi all. Ok need some help please!!! I have actually entertained the thought a few times this weekend that oh just one pill would be ok,,,,Help,,,, I know I can't but at the same time that little devil voice is in there. I don't have any nor did I actually follow through with my thoughts. It hard for me to go to meetings I have tried but to me they are HUGE triggers. We talk about all the times we have used and it makes my brain go yes remember all those good times???? Instead of remember the horror of Wds that you just went through!! Anyway I think so far my best support really and truly is you all!!!!  I totally believe in God/higher power but when they say to let go and let God I worry a bit because I will take that literally and not do any of the footwork!!! And my brain not only has God working but also that damn devil and it is a constant trying to battle and beat these pills. No pills right ya all I will be miserable!!!! Thanks fir the ear and happy valentines dy!

[bmdad]

Good post Mag. Like you said we have to realize that we are powerless over our addiction and that we can't do it on our own. Although this forum is a wonderful place and truly helps it is still not enough. We have to have face to face support. So many of us have relapsed a million times until we realized this. I'm not sure what the relapse percent rate is for people without face to face support but I know it's very high. I say up in the 90th percentile. As addicts we tend to think that we will be one of the small percentage of people that can do it on our own but if you read through the many posts you will see that most of the time we end up relapsing if we don't get that face to face support. Mag and I both relapsed countless times until we realized this. You can prevent many relapses if you take the advice given. You don't have to figure out the way we had to. Please take the advice and get support.

Congrats on 3 months clean Mag! That is great!



Brian

[magnoliaooo]

I can so identify with your post. I have done the same thing at times thinking about toying with the idea of taking a pill. I have finally learned that I am so helpless in my addiction that I can never take just one pill. My past behaviors have so proved that one pill always leads me right back to the drugs all over again. I have relaspsed over and over thinking I can take just that one pill , it does not work if you are an addict like us. However I can so relate to your post, but find a path that works for you. If you don't think meetings are for you maybe find a sober buddy to talk with. A therapist could be a good option, figure out a plan just for you. I am only saying this to you because all the past times I did no footwork I relapsed, I don't have much clean time almost 3 months but today I push myself to not bottle my feelings, I reach out to people so I don"t internalize them, find people on here that you can identify with post often, I think if you do that you will be amazed at your progress. I had a very tough week-end 2 weeks ago actually laid in the bed thinking of getting pills but I came here instead, reached out for help we are all here for you, You can do it!!!  I am routing for you

                                                                             Mag

[bmdad]

I agree with Sarah about thinking about seeing a therapist. If not a therapist you have to start going to NA if you aren't already. I'm sure you've seen it on here a million times where we all say aftercare is a must. This forum is a form of aftercare but it's not enough.

Have you been getting any type of aftercare?

[dominosarah]

Have you thought about going to see a therapist?  You might be more comfortable with that.  As we say here getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard one as the mental games come into play after the physical part is over.