Mom is addicted to methadone. Question on what to expect

[Iierjii]

My 58 year old mom has been on methadone for about 4 years....I think. She has been on and off prescription pills for a long time with several trips to rehab which never lasts. Anyway last rehab trip was 2011 where she was on oxy and for what ever reason they prescribed methodone. Well so it seems like we traded one addiction for another. Anyway, I handle her finances and opened a bill where it showed prescription lists . I was bAffled because I thought she was off meth. She had told me she tapered off. I know very little about it but after doing some research it doesn't seem like you taper in the way in which she described. She got a prescription for 10mg of meth and the doc prescribed it to be taken 2 tablets at 3x per day. He gave her 2 months worth. Anyway she got this rx right before she moved back to CA from Ut and I believe she started withdrawing this weekend. I took her to hospital last night not only for drug problem but emotional issues As well. Today she got Into a treatment hospital. She told me that she wants to do outpatient but I suggested inpatient (which she hS really never stuck with). Anyway how long does it take to detox from 60 mg? What should I expect in this process? I am trying to be supportive but it is draining since this is years of her addiction and I have a 3 year old and 6 month old to worry about as well. Any insight is appreciated.

[lulu747]

Hi and a warm welcome to you-

I don't know much about methadone- so hopefully someone will come on and help answer this question.
Your mom is in the best place she can be right now and will be well taken care of.  It is VERY important that you get some support too okay?  NarAnon and AlAnon are amazing support groups for loved ones of addicts.  They can provide you with tools for dealing as well as give you understanding and support.
You must focus on you and your children.  I know it's hard but your mom is on her own journey, one which you have no control over.  The very best thing you can do is take excellent care of yourself.
Check out the Living With An Addict forum on this site.  It is an excellent resource for you.

Sending hugs and support....
Lu

[jifmoc]

Hi, Lulu above me took the words right out of my mouth. You are a very caring daughter obviously. But you are taking care of her (when it really should be the other way around) and unfortunately, that is enabling. Which means your mom KNOWS you will be there to catch her (you knowing all that specific info about what dosage she's on, etc. means you are way way too involved.) Sounds like your mom is having trouble getting clean (nothing odd about that) so if YOU would like more peace and to focus on YOUR great life, your 2 little ones that need you, please, step away from doing anything for her that involves her addiction. Nothing, no rides to here or there, nothing. Just love her.

You may have heard addiction can ruin an entire family. Well, you can stop the cycle by focusing on your life. You deserve a life and to be happy! Your mom is a grown up. Let her fall and get up on her own. The more you "help", the less the negative consequences for her. Which can keep her where she is. You can do nothing to affect her addiction. She will stop when she bottoms out.  Makes me sad for you w/ a whole family and you're focusing on her sh!t. You don't have to. Like Lulu said go to alanon (it's a great program.) Check it out, please.

[Iierjii]

Thanks for the replies. I do see a therapist a couple of times a months usually to discuss life. My mom does come up but I really thought things were going great since she moved back. I even let her watch my 6 month old while I work (I work at home). Anyway I thought it would give her direction plus help her out financially. Don't get me wrong she is a fantastic grandma and my kids LOVE her but she has issues. Anyway perhaps I wanted to pretend she was so much better and she hides things well. Kind of having guilt for allowing her to watch the baby but also having guilt for not allowing her to watch them now. I know it is the right decision but it is painful. I want her to be well and happy but I know that is not my choice but I wish is it was. I never looked at myself as someone who is codependent but it is starting to seem like I am. I plan on finding support soon.

[atthebeach]

Hello and welcome.I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard to love and support an addict that we love.
Was you mom sick from withdrawal, was her behavior erratic?
Is that why you took her to the hospital?
Don't feel guilty you were trying to help her.
Is she living with you or was she visiting you?
Methadone detox is long and hard. If she stopped suddenly she would be pretty sick.
Please look into al-anon or nar-anon meetings. You will find the support, knowledge and understanding there. You will learn how to support your mom in recovery, not enable  Her addiction.
Please let us know how she is doing. I hope and pray she chooses rehab.
Praying,
Debbie