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Does anyone have a question
Hey guys, I was able to post this morning, but I figured I would take this spot and allow anyone and everyone to use it as an open forum to ask questions and not worry about breaking the thread.  So, if you have a question, ask it?? Good luck to all of you and in the words of our own "forum leader"

"Keep an angel on your shoulder"

GWH
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Hi Dorty. What Mr Michael said is right on; your mom could be just dependant on the meds and defensive about that. Doesn't mean she's addicted. But, I also believe that use of that high amount of opiates causes some personality change, whether you're addicted or not. The medicine itself makes you different. Life is numbed, you become alternately lethargic and buzzed (maybe not so much buzzed if you're not taking more than you should). Irritable. Sounds like she has many things going on. If she is using the pain meds properly and has chronic pain that nothing is going to relieve, this might be side effects she will have to live with and you will have to accept. No one should suffer chronic, intense pain and this may be her best bet. On the other hand, if it is making her life miserable she has to weigh that too. Pain doctors can be lifesavers but I am wary of some now. Mine increased my dose about 10-fold in less than a year, until I was a zombie. He didn't make me an addict; I did that myself. But the easy access with no real education about what was going on enabled me to get there. Still, most people in chronic pain use their meds responsibly. I just wasn't one of them. Best of luck and please let us know how things are going.
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I hear you. I found OC 80's for 14 bucks a pop on the streets, and went on a long run (taking 10-12 a day, chewed). They were relatively cheap, but my habit got to over 150 dollars a day. I took the time to find multiple connections, and had a little white lady in a Benz delivering OC's, dilaudid, klonopin, and anything else I wanted, to my apartment.

Anyway, it's been about 46 days off of everything, and I am just starting to laugh again. The fact that you can always get OC's in an auto plant is humourous. "Here's the wrenches, here's the hand soap, and here's the OC 80's, grab a handful."

I'm sure the drugs aren't sponsored by the plant, and I am sure that the temptation can be tormenting. Hang in there.
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Hi lifeisbetter, just wondering how you're doing. What's up? Write when you get a chance. I'm moved now and doing well. My 3-month anniversary is coming up this weekend! It actually seems like I've been clean much longer, because I feel so damn good. Amazing, huh?
tracy
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First off Hellbent ,Drugs are like sex or any other addiction.If you can pay to play there will always be some one to take your money.Its really no differnt than  any place else.When you are somewhere where money is around trouble is just around the corner if you seek it. That is why after you get clean it is very important to hang with people who dont use.Ive always had a problem with that before because i didnt want to blow off my friends due to my drug problem.But when your in the wrong space it dosent take much for an addict to think **** it ill use today or just now and then and we all know how the rest of the story goes.Just wanted to thank you tracy for the nice welcome. Im on vacation now and have a little  extra time but i will try to keep up when i go back .Sounds like your doing good,keep fighting the good fight.Marty
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Just wondering how Oxycontin 80's are always available in an auto factory. Kinda blows my mind.

This thing really is becoming epidemic.
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Methadone for pain 10 mgs only for about a month and 1/2.  After I stopped, I felt nausia, sweats, electric impulses preventing me from sleeping, diahhrea, headache and body weakness.  It's really hard for me to get up and move.  I have also gone back to work and try so hard to act like I'm feeling ok, but once I'm off the clock and on my way home, I get really sad and a tear or two will flow.

I haven't touched the med for 11 days and never will again.  I think I will stay away from pain meds because most of them make me sick.  This was sort of a last resort from pain specialist.

I'm not even addicted to it at all.  I don't desire another one ever, it's just that I'm suffering these awful side effects.  Will they ever go away.  It's day eleven and I still feel really weak.  The electric impulses in my eyes and my hands and arms are finally gone!!  But, I have the runs badly and my stomach churns and dull headache.  I've also lost a few pounds.  I wonder if I just got the flu in conjunction with the side affects.  Does anyone know how long this lasts??
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hey hope you feeling and doing better tonight.
the run's will cause a lot of negitive effect's on the body,
because they deplete the body of a lot of important nutrients.
it is suggeested here to take imoduim to stop the runs.
Also the thomas's receipe really helps  you fell a lot better faster.
you can find it posted, down below

l-tyrosine 500 mg 8 times a day week 1 -=----4 a day the flowing weeks
b-6 100 mg 2 times a day
vitamines  C--E--AND A
calsium -magnisum
a strong multy
phousphors
copper
magneese
imoudium for the runs
--------------------------------------------------------

also suggested is bannas for leg spasams and restless leg
gotoraide for lost electrolites  due to the runs
and if you still have any depression aftetr a week
some people recomend 5htp
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Good to know you'll be around, Jeepster. Sometimes it still crosses my mind, but I've been able to resist. Like today, I had a message about a job interview. Haven't been on one in years without my handy dandy opiates. So it occurred to me, jeez, I need one of those to ace the interview! How can I be charming and outgoing and everything else without it? I have to admit, I'm still afraid of that. But I'll never know if I can be that person again if I don't try it, clean. I managed to overcome my natural shyness and do pretty damn well before I was on the drugs; I should be able to do it again. My motto is, if I'm not really feeling positive and self-confident, fake it!, until I am. It's always worked for me in the past and I swear to God it'll work again, without any help from those tempting little pills.
After all that soul-searching it turns out I don't need to worry; the job, which sounded so good over the phone, is pre-selling funeral plots! Not what I want to do. So, I guess this was a test from up above, but I managed to pass and that's what's important!
Sorry to digress here; just needed to get that all out.
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I am so thankful for your kind, honest words, encouragement and information concerning my mom's use of oxycontin and percoset for chronic pain.  You both have given me a place to begin where before I felt so helpless tackling something which I am not familiar.  I spoke with a cousin who will be traveling thru Florida on Sunday.  She is going to stop and check on my mom and assess the situation.  I trust her judgment and I'll move forward from there.  Now I have a plan and I thank you for both of your help.  I will keep in touch. Sincerely, Dorty
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I love the winter!! and the summer.   Opiates slow down your metabolism which is what someone told me earlier.  It makes sense............ anyway, if you haven't gained any yet, then you won't, so don't worry about it. make sure to take care of yourself when it comes to the pain associated with the headaches...............

GWH
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thanks guys for your feedback on the weight issue, and i do feel pretty good about cutting back on the bup, but i'd still love to be completely free of everything - one day at a time...actually sometimes i have to take it one minute/hour at a time to get thru the day.

i hope you all have a great weekend...i'll be here and there throughout....peace.
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congrats on your anniversary - that is HUGE!  you've been so inspirational here, that i bet some people will be experiencing the same because of your posts.

i wish i could be at that point.  i'm almost 3 months with no pills, and i'm down to 1 amp per day of the bup.  i'm very confused as to where to go from here.  i'm not making up migraine pain to use as an excuse to take bup - i have tried everything out there (narcotic and otherwise) to make them manageable, but so far nothing has helped.  altho, even after tapering to the extent i have, i haven't gotten a headache i couldn't handle, so in some ways i feel validated in taking the bup still.  i really feel that if i'd never had a headache, i never would be where i am now.  i had gotten bored with recreational drugs shortly after college, and i don't drink at all.  however, i knew after the first couple pills i took (along with the relief it gave me) i was going to have problems.  i'm pretty sure i was a relatively happy person before all this - i still cannot fathom how things snowballed the way they did.

anyhow, i'm considering consulting a shrink.  i feel like i might have some underlying problems that need to be addressed, before i can truly put this all behind me. why am i writing all this?  i don't know...i must be in a talkative mood.  i've been on the forum since 5 a.m. - in some ways i love being up at this time of the morning...the house is quiet, a cool breeze is coming thru the windows and everything smells so fresh after last night's rain.  take care, and again congrats on your reaching a very tough goal:)

p.s.  does anyone know why opiates make you crave sweets? i've read about people gaining tons of weight from the drugs, and i don't understand that.  i haven't experienced that - thank god. i do crave sweets tho, but i try to work out a lot - i guess that is why i haven't gained the weight.  who needs that problem on top of everything else.
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Tex3, thank you so much for your post in the thread above, that really meant a lot, I just hope I can do this....... with people like you around I will, I'm still in shock when I look at that post, it really means a lot, and it has made me want this even more, so thank you.

Groovy, the first thing I did when i woke up this morning (5:45am) was eat candy, I never do that!!! but I definitely have a sweet tooth since I have been on the drugs. I notice it more when in withdrawal....... what about you.  By the way, how about this weather!!! although yesterday was a mess!!!

In regards to the bup and your headaches, if you have pain issues with headaches, then by all means, you should take whatever works.  Headaches have to be the worst, its awful...... so take care of yourself.

Thanks again to the both of you, tex3, that post was a life saver.

GWH
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I think your friend is using something. No way could you quit that, if using daily, without WD. Although if he quit five days ago, I guess it's possible to feel better by now. My first detox was four days and then I was somewhat okay, but a mental wreck. It's hard to fool a fellow addict.
I take it a minute at a time too, many days. But I'm glad you're feeling better and were able to cut the bup. Even small amounts of that stuff help. I read that it is many, many times stronger than morphine, which is why the doses are so small when injected. I took .3mg amps, 1-4/day.
Hope your admirer takes your advice...and I promise not to mention it again! Have a great weekend; we're going to the lake tomorrow so I won't be around.
tracy
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Thanks groovy, that really meant a lot to me, it truly did. I feel so good and I want to help others get there; maybe it will make this whole hell worthwhile, huh?
About the weight gain - it happened to me in a major way. But it is because I craved sweets and just wanted to munch all the time. I ate about twice my normal amount. Plus I bloated up a lot. My hands were always swollen. If you haven't had the weight gain after two years I think you're not prone to it.
I think you're doing great. A few weeks ago you were struggling to reduce the bup intake at all, and now you're down to one/day? That's wonderful! If you've always had migraines and nothing else helps, you might have to accept that you will need something for it. And bup is better than anything else, I firmly believe. I took it for chronic pain after my first detox, and it worked like a wonder. If my migraines come back bad like they were, that's what I will probably do, although I don't need anything everday since mine are intermittent.

GWH, thanks for the sweet post. You're so honest and I hate to see you struggle with this, but I know you will make it; on the plus side, you will hopefully leave this beast behind while you're still very young, and gain a ton of wisdom to take with you the rest of your life. Hang in there buddy.

By the way, it's 100 degrees here in south Texas. Can't even walk outside without feeling like a ton of bricks are surrounding you. So I envy you New England folks!
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I've always been puzzled when people say then gained weight on opiates.  When I was using, I lost a ton of weight.  That was because I didn't want to eat, since eating meant I'd feel the next batch of pills less. Food interfered with my buzz. God, I was sick!

I do remember that what I did eat took a long time to digest.

I don't know about bup and weight gain, but groovy, if you've not gained weight on it so far, you probably won't.

Don't beat yourself up over still being on it. You've reduced your dose quite a bit.  Give yourself credit for that!
I'm just impressed you've found a doctor willing to prescribe it for you. I have failed to find one willing to give me bup.  I've turned down oxycontin twice from two docs who would give me, a self admitted recovering addict, oxy, but not bup.  I don't get it!

love,
WW
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hi groovy...well here i am...where are u...

thanks for describing my life in a previous post...do people still resent your outspokeness, or have they warmed up to you like i have...oh well, i will spend the weekend eating, smoking pot, sitting by the pool and bbq'ing... despite your urgings for me to stop...i must admit thou, it's fun....4 women are coming over to use the pool tomorrow....

to everyone else who reads this posting, i can tell you that groovy is a pretty hot girl...she is very cute, best described as a heather locklear type, and she is super smart...and she has courage to fight, which besides her body is my favorite part about her. i hope her husband doesnt read this.

anyway, i think a posting like this is good for this place, its kinda funny and lightens the mood, wouldnt you say groovy girl.


oxoxo

smoke stak
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dearest smoke stak - we try not to get too personal here with the physical descriptions and whatnot...but thanks for the compliments:)

now that you've FINALLY signed on, perhaps we can get to the root of your pot problem and get you back on the straight and narrow, huh?  remember - nothing TOO personal because this is a mighty small world we live in, and as it turns out, some of us are in closer proximity than we might have thought...we want to keep this confidential!  my husband may drop by at some point you goof ball...hahah

hey, on another note...is it physically possible that a person with a 15-16 perc a day habit over the past year get off of them without any w/ds???  that's what a fellow addict tried to convince me of today...that he had quit everything sunday and was feeling great.  i tend to think he's still using, but anything is possible right?  i'd love some input on that one. thanks.



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dearest smoke stak - we try not to get too personal here with the physical descriptions and whatnot...but thanks for the compliments:)

now that you've FINALLY signed on, perhaps we can get to the root of your pot problem and get you back on the straight and narrow, huh?  remember - nothing TOO personal because this is a mighty small world we live in, and as it turns out, some of us are in closer proximity than we might have thought...we want to keep this confidential!  my husband may drop by at some point you goof ball...hahah

hey, on another note...is it physically possible that a person with a 15-16 perc a day habit over the past year get off of them without any w/ds???  that's what a fellow addict tried to convince me of today...that he had quit everything sunday and was feeling great.  i tend to think he's still using, but anything is possible right?  i'd love some input on that one. thanks.



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i complained ALL winter, because i HATE it.  i have decided that new englanders are all a bunch of crybabies, because they complain about all the seasons.  i have decided if i'm going to continue to live here, i will only complain about one and i picked winter.  i smiled all thru the heatwave, and i kept reminding myself that i was in shorts with bare feet...i was happy.  

i haven't made any decisions about the bup.  i feel guilty continuing to take it, but my doc feels that i should have it on hand for the migraines.  i've tapered to a point that i think is reasonable, so why do i feel guilty?

also...does anyone know why people gain weight on opiates? i keep hearing all about it, but i have no idea what the reasons are.  i used for about 2 years, and i didn't gain weight...will i if i continue with the bup?  is it just inevitable, or is it like when some people get pregnant and they just tell themselves i'm eating for two now (and they really eat for like 10) and put on 65 pounds?  i'm worried now that i hear that people really pack it on that i will end up doing that too...ack!  i don't need that on top of everything else!!
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"my admirer" is one of my oldest, dearest friends who's being silly. he's actually kind of shy and could probably benefit from your's (and everyone's) input - that is, if we could get him to be serious for a minute.

i'm going up to a lake today too...stay cool.
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I need to give you an update.
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angst:
i'm ready for an update. either give to me through the forum or, if
you prefer ***@****

i know work can eat a big hole in your time, and that i presume is
why your posts are somewhat sparse and far and few between. hey
thats ok, i understand, and even if i didn't it would still be ok.
i miss your posts, so full of light and "tough truth." if you post
to my e-mail, let me know, as i have take a "long 5 minute drive to work," to to read my e-mail.
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
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I had already written the update before I got your post.  Next time, I have personal problems, I'll email.  Thanks, and let me know if you have any advice.    Angst
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groovy:
so this is your herb smoking friend you described earlier? he
sounds like a pretty intresting " cat to have in the bag...."

do you see the fun & possibilitys that are open to both of you
here? i hope there is a foundation of strong and devoted friendship that is in place here. let's see...i live with another person who posts here. we've never much hidden the fact that irish rose & kip are not only an item, but husband and wife! i also live (at most) 15 miles north of another regular poster. turns out we both work in simalar fields (that makes him seem dull, when he probably isn't...but how woulde i know, he won't even meet me for coffee. see i do believe he is "on" to how unsaviory i really am (drug addict, & - all around piece of low life dirt-****.

i know of 3 other people who live across a bay from each other, that have never met. i know they all have busy lives, but i could not resist being able to actually meet......but maybe i'm wierd or just plain fay and wrong....

smokestak:
now you mind your p's and q's (what ever the hell they are...). if i am to believe you about what groovy looks like (i suspected as much), i must also remind you that there are componenets of her personality that make her a very "attractive person," in another way!  i would hate to see you, me, or the rest of the forum lose her companionship....so be careful, but be yourself...

by the way smokestack...welcome to the forum! there will always
be room fo "JUST ONE MORE ADDICT" in here, SO COME ON IN!!!

good saturday to everyone, and keep an angel on your shoulder!
kip
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angst:
todays saturday! tomarrows sunday. you hear about the shipyards
on monday...good! you know you will do just fine at the shipyard
interview! don't worry about pissing in bottles....you have been an
addict long enough to go everywhere/anywhere drugs (hydromorphone)
can take you. put some of that existential cool on, and wait for
the results....make it as easy as listening to cannonball Adderly..


hey i'm praying you'll get what you need... beyond that i'm praying
you'll want the things ya' need...

must take nap as i'm going to hear Dave Alvin tonight...

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
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The shipyard called, I go for the interview Monday morning.   Burning no bridges, I will stay where I am for now, until it is a sure thing with pipefitting.  I thought you'd like to hear, sorry for breaking a thread.  I hope the methadone does not keep me out.  Since it is not included on most UDS.  It depends on how it goes as to whether I let it on that I take methadone.  I will list my asthma meds and xanax.  That will cover the amphetamine and benzodiazapines.  If the methadone comes up, I'll simply tell them that I was afraid of being discriminated against because of the methadone.  Careful choice of words. Not that I am a writer, just tactful.  Any good advice,  you can email me at ***@****.  Sorry for interrupting anything important with my little life.  I have that Angel on my shoulder, Angst.
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thanks skip - you are a gem:)  i don't like how you put yourself down tho...i could give two craps about the "outside" of you...i know you to be one of the warmest, most generous people around here, but i bet you are just as great on the outside.  don't put yourself down please....remember you hated when one poster called himself loser?  

smoke stak and i are really, really great friends from a long time ago and have seen each other thru many tough times.  i hope he comes back and gets as much out of this forum as i have...come out come out wherever you are...give it a try sweetie...

ok - i gotta run...going out to the lake for the day and what a beautiful day it is.  i hope you all have a good one.
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my vote:  a
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i vote "c."
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i really doubt if either, but i'd have to say b.  i do not think you live near the univ of neb.  hey, who knows.  geologists are not necessarily sci fi junkies.  i'm more into the gothic era, and not the snotty nosed kids of today.  i love the romatic era with shelby, byron,etc...
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you can blow smoke up everyone else's butts, but not mine...hahah

when you feel like you're in a very truthful mood, just let us know.  xo
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Hey.... I don't think you're unsavory! You just calm down, now, Ya hear? You know damned well that our industry makes us seem Dull..... But, we are in fact: Sci-Fi Junkies as well as "junkies" of one sort or another. I'd wager 16.2% of my hourly pay for a factor of .356 times our workweek actual hours that 80% of respondants would correctly Identify ME with our line of work other than YOU......

Dare me?!

O.K. Smart Forum.... Skipper has bet me, Jessesarpy, that you guys (The Rest of the Forum), will guess our Mutual Proffesion.

One of the following statements are, indeed, factual about the nature of "Skip/Kip's" line of work shared by the one who calls himself "Jessesarpy"----

A.) Both Skip, and Jessesarpy are professors of Geology on the staff the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.

B.) Both Skip and Jessesarpy are personnel at the I.S. Departments Overseeing a vast computer network.

"A" or "B", which is it?

PLease submit your vote!
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Well, from kip's email address it looks like he's at a university, but hell I don't know what he does. Have to admit geology does sound pretty dull, but only because I know absolutely nothing about it. So 'fess up, which is it?
Skip, you're too quick and funny to be putting yourself down so stop it, now!
Hope everyone's having a great weekend and those of you detoxing are as comfortable as possible. I went to the lake yesterday, where it proceeded to rain most of the day but we stayed anyway.

Tomorrow's my three month anniversary and it's amazing I feel so much better than I thought I would at this point! Question: I ran out of tyrosone. Do I still need it? Took the last one yesterday, and although I was taking a low dose, I still wonder if it's continued to help with my mental state. Any suggestions, anyone?
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skipper thanks for the kind words, i appreciate your kindness...

groovy...it is sunday night, i wish you would call me...i had a great weekend around the pool...yes, i smoked a bunch of pot, ate way too much, and got a bit more of a tan... its all good thou...am i expected to talk about my "so-called" pot problem here, or can i just tell you how much of a great weekend i had..

lastly groovy, i dont drink, i dont do drugs, i even hate tylenol...so let a single, successful guy have his weed...damn i can remember when you smoked weed, hey wait a minute, i can't remember, weed makes me very forgetful... hehehe

xoxoxo
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ok, well that definitely got my attention..................so????????????
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i have to ask...how can you "swear" that you saw me at richardson's when you have no idea what i look like?  no, i wasn't there - we don't go all the time.

i agree about pot, except when it takes over someone's life and makes them numb and unable to move forward.  i think it can stagnate you...you can get so unmotivated.  anyway, i'm glad smoke stak is here...i think he could get a lot out of this place.
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you sent me a picture........
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I saw a couple that resembled what I remember in the picture you sent, thats all. I thought it was you, anyway, I guess your right about the weed, it really depends on the severity, but people can definitely become complacent when smoking all the time.......
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Sheeeeiiit.....

Yes the F-ing heat is depressing.
Do you think any of your state of mind is affected by your detoxing? Are you still on that path for the time being? I think I'm just getting more crazy the more "Sober" I become.

I know what you mean about all the sh*theads who think that their problem is the most important thing at the time.. Hell, the brownshirts at THIS Gov't agency expect us to ask "How high" when they say "jump". We remind them from time to time who's REALLY in control here by taking away Internet priveledges around lunch and the last hour before shift changes when people start getting lazy. Sometimes we create a report of what webpages an individual was happily surfing, and quietly e-mail it to that individual with a question to the effect of, "How does researching (________) help you with your job?"....

Yes... If I were independantly wealthy, I'd quit and become a Monk or something of that nature.... But, REALLY, the heat here is making all of us midwesterners just a bit whacky right now..... Just all a little unbalanced.

Muchos GRANDE deintes!
Jess
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your awesome!!! always answering my posts, yea, I used meth the last 3 days and then got rid of whatever I had left.  Personally, anything after 3 days is too much, thats my outlook, I don't want to become addicted to the meth, you know??  I figure I will have a couple of days of mild withdrawals and then it will be a mental battle........... Well, I hope all is well. keep posting, PLEASE!!!

gwh
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Whats up smoke stak, its good to have comic relief, and I agree, I think pot is the one drug that should be excepted. Many people may disagree but seriously, its the one drug that you can leave without a real physical withdrawal and it doesn't interfere the way opiates do.  anyway, good luck I hope all is well

Groovy, sounds like you have a great friendship with Smoke Stak, he sounds like a fun guy. I hope your doing well, and I wasn't going to say anything, but I have to ask, were you at Richardsons this weekend?? I could have swore I saw you..................

Skipper, stop feeding into that negative bullshit...... first and foremost, your a person, not a drug addict, and your a person with extreme warmth and compassion to help others!! And if I were local I would meet up for a cup of coffee whenever you wanted.!!

As a side note, I can't tell you all how much physical activity can help motivate to stay sober.  My brother has helped me by really gearing me towards training in the gym.  Dedicating myself to that will take a lot of time, strength, and mental toughness, but I will do it, I can't wait to move out of the fog and into the clear day, I feel like I"m in a daze......... Point being, get up, get out and move around, it will help, I promise........... Another question was, how many people would meet others within this forum? I'm always curious as to how confidential people like to be.......

I swear this is the last thing, but something that helped my self confidence this weekend........... I get to go to NY in 2 weeks, I got picked for the Abercrombie & Fitch Quarterly magazine!!! too funny, my family is already making fun of me, but anyway, it was a weird kind of boost for my self confidence.

I hope all is well, and please keep posting.

GWH
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No negativity, O.K.?

You are a pretty damned Smart and Compassionate guy the way you reach out to all the Newbies here.... Just because I can't manage my time worth a **** doesn't mean I'm ignoring you! I'm just another junkie like all the rest here... I hope I can get my head together and start living like a HUMAN, because I NEVER have in the past! This whole sobriety thing to new to me, and the Booze and Drugs were there to calm my insecurities and fears, now I'm just having to deal with life on it's OWN terms.. Really F-Ing scary!

The strange thing is that I just want to walk away from my proffession now! Just drop everything and go back to what I REALLY love. [Writing and Playing guitar in local bands] Yes, I was a touring midwestern "Hair-band" 80's era Metal guitarist from the ages of 17-25. It didn't pay enough, so I went to college, and here I am making pretty good money and hating what I do now... Before I was sober, I LOVED my job. Good money to pay for all my Booze and drugs... What could be better? Now it is SO LIMITING! I'm stuck here 10-12 hours per day, and most weekends.... Oh well, just have to work it all out!

So, everybody.... What do Skipper and I do?

Aw, ****, I'd better not say.... Doesn't sound like you want the forum to know! It would spoil the mystery around the persona...

Here's a clue: We both work for an Agency that has a three-letter abbreviation... That's all I'm going to say for now!

Hows your life treating you, Skip?

Jess
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jess:
when dilbert cartoons aren't funny anymore, i mean when wally is
my role model....well who in their right mind wouldn't want to
just walk away? at my work place, i deal with a constant stream
of primo-donna's (spelling) who's research is always the more im-
portant than anyone else's time. i'm just a grunt with social problems (i aspire to low goals), and a good deal of the time i am treared like an unperson....

lucky for me (and you i hope) we have lives beyond our jobs. when
they asked me in fourth grade what i would probably be doing as
an adult, i saud i would probably have to have a job. when they
asked me, don't you want to have a an exciting job that really
made a difference? i said no, i'ld just rather not have anthing to do with work or "them."

see i really don't mean to sound hostile (sorry if i did) i'm
just depressed. it's monday and 95* out there. and all this
"stuff" that doesn't work, i must deal with right now.

you know i like to think of it as emotionally outgrowing the need
for work. i told my boss that...heasked me if i'ld economically
outgrown the need for a job

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
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Hi gwh. Did you start the meth? Is it working, and did you completely quit the OCs? I know you can do it this time. Let us know when the catalog comes out. You should be really proud! That's great. See, life is taking you in new directions already. Anyway, I'd love to see it. Hang in there, you sound better already. Once the fog is gone, you'll be unstoppable.
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Congratulations on how well you've done! I don't see what more rehab could have to offer you, other than to satisfy the board's bureaucracy??? But I'm not in the medical profession, so I don't know. I wanted to wish you the best of luck though and say great job, hang in there, you're doing your part. Also post this on the top question from today and you'll get more answers, as many don't check questions down lower. Hang in there and I'll send a prayer your way.
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I've posted here before. I got good advice so please lend me some more... I will be facing the board this Friday for my addiction. I took 10-15 5mg vicodin everyday for 1.5 years. They may want me to go to rehab! I have been clean for 50 days, no bad withdrawls, I have been to 5 NA meetings a week for the last 50 days and to 2 group therapy sessions every week for the last 50 days for recoverying Dr.'s. My question is this: Is rehab totally necessary for recovery, or can NA and group therapy  be my rehab?  I will be checking for replys soon.....thanks for your support.
"Take my will and my Life and show me how to live"

Dr.X
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Well I'm not an expert on the subject, but I was always under the impression that rehab was only necessary for those going through withdrawls and to get them through those first few weeks of sobriety. It sounds like you're doing an excellent job with your current regimen and I congratulate you. I would say that you are not a candidate for rehab.
So you are a doctor? Not to sound like a downer, but I couldn't imagine having the access that you have to these drugs. I'd be in big, big trouble. The nursing profession has always interested me, but I will not even think of entering the field because I would not want to be under this kind of temptation day in and day out. Good Luck to you.
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Hey Doc,

I realize that this post is probably a little too late and I apologize. My profession now keeps me away from home and e-mail access for sometimes 2 to 3 weeks at a time.

Here is my advice for what it may be worth. If the board decided that rehab was necessary then it was not only for you but for thier purposes. They want to dot thier I's and cross thier T's as well. I hope that all went well with the board. The way that I see it is that rehab is the discovery part, the education part of our addiction if you will. FGor me, it made me understand why things happended the way they did and what precipitated the whole addiction. I came to understand the disease. I was also put in touch with reality and I was helped in setting my goals for the rest of my life.

In short, it was, for me, a necessary course of events to put everything into persepective. The follow-up or after care was to support and build on what the rehab had put in place. I refer to the A.A. and N.A meetings that I attend. It's all good. If it's a stigma issue then that will pass in time. I had to fight that demon as well. I can remember my precious wife telling the group in a meeting in rehab, "We don't belong here, he is not a druggie or dope addict." Boy did that hit home and hard. The truth is, I was and am an addict, a recovering one now with 14 months of sobriety and a lifetime ahead. One day at a time. Although my wife has been and still is very supportive, she cannot sit and watch me post on this forum. She cannot handle the pain of the stories here. For her it only brings back the memories of the extreme pain of watching everything in my illustrious career disappear. I hope and pray that this will pass in time.

From the healing standpoint which I know you understand, think of it as a terminal healing process. Dont read more into that statement than what was said. Take the course of action offered to you or ordered to you and make the best of it. We are all faced with making the best of what we have left in our lives, after the destructiveness  of the addiction, which by most accounts is quite a lot. LIFE IS GOOD AFTER ADDICTION! You will see. Remember, what was or is in the past no matter how recent, is just that, in the past. The rest is ahead. Think of it as having one up on every one else. You know the mistakes and destruction in that area, now take the lessons learned from it and capitalize on what's ahead.

Doc, we are here for you, everyone of us. It truly only gets better. I will continue to pray for you and your family for complete healing and growth. "Eye has not seen nor ear heard nor entered into the heart of man the things that God has prepared for them that love him."

In His Love, JR.

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is it possible to test positive in your urine for cocaine, if you are around people for about 20 minutes, that are smoking it in a small area?
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