help

[katejq]

i lost my oldest daughter 6 years ago in a auto accident a fews months to follow i went threw a awful divorce i snorted my first pill after my daughter passed at first it was a adderall here an there then pain pills my big down fall right now is norocos my nose is just super sore my head feels swelling every morning im litterly more misserble i just want to stop an be happy but in my mind i feel like o without those i wont have any energy an want to do anything an wont b happy an also i dont know y this may sound dumb but i feel like i may as well be addictied to the whole snorting part just as bad im a very quiet shy girl no one would ever imagine i would be doing this an honestly i dont really want them to an to think im a bad person im scared an just want to be clean an happy at the same time if anyone has any advice at all i would so be greatful to have it

[Jinx_777]

i too am very sorry for the loss of your daughter.
the very first time i abused pain meds, soma, klonopin an.d other meds was when my son died.

you know the root of your addiction and really need to seek grief counseling or maybe advocate for the safety of kids driving, etc.
channel that pain into something positive.

if you cannot just stop right away at start taking the orally, as prescribed and then begin to taper.

i had to admit myself into a nice mental hospital to get myself together and get off the suicide path i was on.  that helped a lot, gave me a much needed break away from this world

[glassguy]

Your not alone we are here for you when you want the help to get you life back and be happy again!! Good luck and God Bless

[lulu747]

Hi There-

Welcome to the forum.  I am so sorry about your daughter.  I cannot even imagine the pain of losing a child.  My heart goes out to you.  You are not alone.  You have done what nearly every single person on this forum has done, try to numb feelings with a substance.  It leads us down a very dark hole that only gets worse unless we arrest it.  You have a disease called addiction and you need to do whatever you have to in order to get out of active addiction and into recovery.
I would start with some grief and addiction support.  There are counselors who specialize in this but if money is an issue there are also free services.  NA/AA are free.  SMART recovery is free.  There are free grief support groups as well, do a google search for ones in your area,

It is so important to share the secret of your addiction with your friends and family.  First of all because you need support, you also need to be accountable.  It is our secrets that keep us sick in our addictions.
You have nothing NOTHING to be ashamed of and you are NOT a bad person.  You are a human being with a disease.  And you need help.  We all do.
You will find endless support and camraderie on this website.
Just tell us what you need and we shall provide.
Welcome to our MH family..
Hugs...
Lu