Don't understand!

[joy11159]

I just got home from group and I'm so confused! Today is my 16th day and I feel get this is the first time I've been real with myself. That I'm a adddict  and I have a disease and I want to stay clean. I've been going to group meeeting which I was'nt made to do and last nigth was my first NA meeeting which was great I've made a promise to myself go to them 3 nights a week and group meetings everyday I know I have to get up and move get out of the life I was leading. The last two group meeting I've been told I will use again and its making me feel depressed I know I'm have adddict and always will and their is always that chance I will use again But I don't feel I need to hear that because right now I'm clean and I'm have giving it all to quit! Please someone come back to me and am I wrong for being upset!

[helpjen]

No one wants to hear that they will relapse, especially when you have tried so hard. And you may not!  Other's people's experiences are not your own, and to be honest, some folks like to scare others and make them feel like they have been treated.  A viscious circle.  You can do this, and will do this!  You have a great start, I'm not even close to off yet, so you are already there!  Keep up your spirtis, and don't let others who have failed drag you down.

[joy11159]

Thanks for coming back to me tonight really got to me its the first time I started doudting myself and I really want to stay clean! I've hurt so many people and lost out so much of my life that I want My life back it feels so good not to be numb and not care about anything but a pill.

[freebird227]

I wasn't sure if the group leader said this to you or one off your peers in group. Case being, You are clean today and have started your plans as to how you are going to maintain your abstance from all drugs.You are in a good place,at least thats how it sounds to me." Don't let people live rent free in your head." This is an oppt. for you to apply the tools you have learned so far. This doesn't have to be a stumbling block for you. I sharred with a woman Tuesday night @ na that she was carring emotional baggage that wasn't hers to carry in the first place and she had permission to give it back. You can pm me if you would like and I can share with you some ways to resolve conflict. Maybe tonight you could write out a gratitude list about being clean,that will help take away some of the bad feelings you may be having.  

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 16 days!!!!  You are doing great!!!  Keep it going.  The above posters gave you great advice.  You stay clean for you....dont let anyone bring you down.   stay strong          sara

[mtgoat911]

i had to go through group therapy to get my license back, and i left there feeling like you did, very confused
i found more help in na, and working with addicts on a daily basis at my job
yes, there is always a possibility for relaspe, next time you are in an na meetings listen carefully to the reading at the end of the meeting "just for today"
in that reading it says "today i will find someone who has FAITH IN ME AND WANTS TO HELP ME IN MY RECOVERY"
you will have people in group or family members tell you that you cannot make it, right now focus on people who tell you that you can make it!!!!
this is a great chapter that focuses on relaspe prevention.....
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw2/uploads/pdf/BT6E_Webposting.pdf
you can do this, do not let anyone talk you into thinking its impossible!!!

[Dezdon]

You went to a NA meeting and were told your going to use again? What is that? Thats not standard chatter for NA. Ignor that person, its ****. Look, your clean, your trying to work the program, your doing aftercare which takes alot of effort on your part. Get what they said out of your head. Just keep doing what your doing and get a hold of someone or come here on line if you find yourself getting squirly.
  I went to my first NA meeting the other night. I had six years of AA so i kinda know the drill. I now live in a very small town and the meeting group was maybe ten people. I am used to huge meetings like 50 people and I mean people down on thier luck, homeless etc.
  I was yawning this whole meeting because all the sharing was just about they had a bad day and if they wernt coming to meetings, they would have used. Everyone said the same thing. I guess i needed to hear the "meat and potatoes" about recovery. Like how they crashed and burned, like I was going through. What events had taken place in thier life becuse they used, how they stumbled trying to stop. Not how bitchen things are. I know things are good when you dont use or pick up, I need to be reminded of what can happen to relate and hear my story.
  I wont give up though. I will retun next week (they only meet once a week) Its also posible they are a very tight group and didnt want to open up in front of a newcomer they didnt know.
I guess every meeting different. Keep coming back!

[theeagle]

There is absolutely no way that anyone could predict that you would relapse. And it does not have to happen to anyone. Stay strong. Listen to the positive people and forget the negative ones - they are probably the ones that continually relapse.

[corey411]

Honey go to the meetings and take with you only what helps. There is always a chance that we will relapse no matter what...but some get clean, don't go to meetings and never relapse. Everyone is different. You are still very vulnerable. You will get stronger and regain confidence that no one can predict your life. There are reasons that will increase anyones chances of relapse like if you are around people who are using(number 1 way). We all have to learn our triggers and deal with them so we don't use again.It is great that you are going to these meetings. You will learn alot, but try to come out with only what you know will help you....Some meetings can get too rigid. Go by the literature and use what you know will keep you clean. God bless, Corey

[mtgoat911]

someone in her outpatient group told her she was going to use, not a 12stepper

[freebird227]

I wondered if you would catch that hic- up.LOL I know I did.