Dowm today

[msdelight]

Well day 22 just ended, and what am I doing yeah feeling depressed. I went to my Moms today amd she was down and I caught it. I used to have take 2 pills just to go see her and then one when I left. 4 yr ago she was a healthy working 72 yr old. Then she retired and became a full time ( instead of part time) drinker. The first yr was rough.  Qt of Brandy a day, falls, broken bones, hospitals, nursing homes.  Now she's mostly demencia, dressed in rags, broke, homeless at home. She won't let me wash her or clean or do the laundry.  It's a screaming match. I brought her groceries and cigarettes like always and tried to cheer her up. Funny. I'm thinking about my friend right now and how he's probably feeling no pain. Please help.

[kyle505]

I've posted this before...Life delivers us, right to our doorstep, hundreds of excuses to use every day. There are times when we have to deal with difficult situations without meds, and so we remember how much easier it was with meds, or so we think. The problem is, we weren't dealing with it; maybe we went through the motions, i.e., visiting your mom, grocery shopping, but you never really experienced the true emotions that are normal when interacting with a parent who's going through the aging process.
Although 22 days is fantastic, you are still healing, and will continue to heal for months and months.
So just keep in mind - you'll have good days and bad, but the longer you're clean, the better you'll be able to deal with the bad.
K

[VICourageous]

Hi Hun..I sure can feel just what you are saying. I was in the health field for over 28yrs and took care of everybody and everything but my self..This is where my addiction slowly went to He11. I have used off and on for over 40 years.(not proud) But I could walk away when I got burned out on it. I have a little over a year clean from going c/t from 3 meds at once..I got to the point that my job was so stressful that I got out of control with the drugs. 16yrs on opiates, but the last 12 on the Methadone and 2 others.

I have a Mom who goes to chemo and Dad who is in a home and was told he had 6 moths to live and a father-in-law that was told he might live a month..They all have cancer..This has been so Fing hard for me not to use..I just had to let them all know that I am here for them, but I am in no condition to take care of them all the way. I look at all of this as a great Big Trigger and my Family is OK with this..They do understand and I am working on outside help for my Mom. I will be here for them but my Life depends on how much I can do too! They are very Proud of me and do not want me to go back to what I was..A wired up psychotic and spinning in all directions. So I would just like to say I am here for you if you need to talk..I usually do not put this out here for people to PM me but I really think we can help each other..This is so so so hard but we must remember we can get more help for them but, if it triggers us we can not do this..It is OK..We can still be with them but we also can leave when it becomes to depressing..My Life depends on staying away from stress & drama and depressed people right now..Life is Life and I know what is going to happen but right now I just take one day at a time.. I sure feel for you..Please stick around and we all can help each other out..Most of my MH friends on here know whats going on and they have given me ALL kinds of Support for my Mom, Dad and myself..
Bless U
PS I hope you can understand what I wrote I am a bit shook up..lol
Vickie

[vicki595]

Hi there- I'm sorry about that situation with your Mom...It sounds like she can no longer care for herself. Have you called any Senior Services in your community?  There are people who can help you, maybe, so you won't feel like medicating when you visit her and maybe help her,too!

How do you feel now?  Keep your guard up!

[ROSYouralright]

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60 seconds of sadness is a minute of happiness lost! CHEER UP! Think happy thoughts and make a blessings list! You will be amazed how things change in your life when you start counting your BLESSINGS!!!
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[ariley13]

Hi there! I'm sorry you are having a hard time today. It's so hard to deal with our emotions and stressful situations at first because we have been so numbed to things for so long. The good news is that the more times you go through a rough day or a bad situation without using, the easier and stronger you will be. You should be very proud that you made it through the day without using. I'm sure proud of you! Hang in there. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope that it will be a bright sunny on for you! Take care and keep your head up.