Aa
Down hill, alone drug consumption (bad but high times) lol, help! x
Hi guys and girls.
Firstly, this is the first time I have felt to post somewhere like this, but I feel my addiction issues are slowly getting the better of me. I am a successful man aged 29 with a business that I own and a beautiful fiancé that I love more than anything, and since we met we have both liked to use recreational drugs at the weekends and love a good all-nighter with friends.
the problem is that once a week she has to do an all night shift at work leaving me at home alone for the whole evening/night.
For the last 5 or 6 sleep in shifts she's done I have got home from work bought a gram of coke and a stack of beers and had a great night on my own getting high, playing Xbox, reading articles on the Internet ect, but generally just enjoying the lovely, warm embrace of cocaine and booze(bad I know) The first time I did this I really enjoyed it, and it compelled me to do it again! But now every time she has a night shift I can't think of anything better to do than get high on my own:( I fully realise this is quite a problem but just can't help myself calling the man??! It's one big secret at the moment as I can happily function the next day without issue? But I feel terrible carrying this drug secret and need some tips (other than just don't do it) to help me stop this stupid, secret, self addictive, self deprecating behaviour? Please if there is anyone out there who has been in a similar situation and has overcome it I would love to know how you did it. P.S, I have the worst, no will power, impulsive attitude you can imagine! Lol.
Thanks
Firstly, this is the first time I have felt to post somewhere like this, but I feel my addiction issues are slowly getting the better of me. I am a successful man aged 29 with a business that I own and a beautiful fiancé that I love more than anything, and since we met we have both liked to use recreational drugs at the weekends and love a good all-nighter with friends.
the problem is that once a week she has to do an all night shift at work leaving me at home alone for the whole evening/night.
For the last 5 or 6 sleep in shifts she's done I have got home from work bought a gram of coke and a stack of beers and had a great night on my own getting high, playing Xbox, reading articles on the Internet ect, but generally just enjoying the lovely, warm embrace of cocaine and booze(bad I know) The first time I did this I really enjoyed it, and it compelled me to do it again! But now every time she has a night shift I can't think of anything better to do than get high on my own:( I fully realise this is quite a problem but just can't help myself calling the man??! It's one big secret at the moment as I can happily function the next day without issue? But I feel terrible carrying this drug secret and need some tips (other than just don't do it) to help me stop this stupid, secret, self addictive, self deprecating behaviour? Please if there is anyone out there who has been in a similar situation and has overcome it I would love to know how you did it. P.S, I have the worst, no will power, impulsive attitude you can imagine! Lol.
Thanks
Hey....well from what you sound like you need some help the drugs your using can and will kill you eventually ....this disease will suck you in and spit you out... it is no longer a party if it is just you there alone we have the opportunity to see this happen here on the forum it is not prity and your in the last stages of addiction and it can happen to any body the thing here is your disease will lye to you ''o im not so bad I only use on the weekends the problem is it is going to take more and more to get you high have you thought about what your going to do when it quits working for4 you?? cocaine works on the pleasure centers of your brain the addict in you still wants to get high the problem is when you stop you go into some serious depression then the desire to get high or this will not work.. as for strong will it is not enough if it where there would be far less people here now lets draw a time line first the money will run out next you will loose your bissness next you will loose your girl so ask your self is it really worth it??? I hope you find comfort in our forum if you truly want to quit we will walk you threw it but the desire to get clean must excide the desire to get High....personally I dont think your ready yet you cant do this half assed your ether in out out I wish you all the luck in the world I hope you make the right dession sorry I dont candy cote it when it trully is life or death................Gnarly.................................
I had to talk to my hubby before I gave you the following information because it IS his story and I wouldn't bandy it all about without his permission.
As said earlier, he would shoot or snort just about anything. Earlier postings told you what could happen to you healthwise in the future. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened to my hubby.
He was married once before me. She was into the drugs also. They had 3 children and were so dysfunctional it isn't even funny. Fast forward through the divorce and single drug years. Then he met me, liked me and wanted to date me. At that time all I did was have a drink occasionally. Since I grew up with a violent alcoholic I told him that he had to make a decision...me or the drugs. Luckily he chose me and life....unfortunately most of the damage has been done.
This is what he has gone through medically over the last 10 years...most of it points back to his heavy drug usage:
10 years ago he had a liver transplant...he almost died that time.
2-1/2 years ago he had open-heart surgery (related to the drug he has to take to suppress his immune system
1 year ago another open heart surgery
11 months ago lung surgery to remove a lobe due to cancer
All of these things are related to the damage he did to his body.
He also has other issues: Arthritis...degenerative and RA, diabetes, and COPD.
This is what you may be looking forward to. My hubby started out recreationally too. He also had the same attitude as you. Well I work hard, I'm successful...don't I deserve a little fun?
Do you want to risk a future like this? I hope not because we have both been through hell...especially during the last year...months of which my hubby was so confused he didn't know if he had his pants on, he didn't know anything to be frank. He still has memory issues.
He is now on disability which he hates....he had to give up the career he loved. He is severely depressed though not as bad as he was. He's finally learning to live the life he has instead of living like he's dead already.
For you, for your family and for the woman you love you need, in this one instance, look ahead instead of the one day at a time rule we usually follow. You are still young enough to get out while you are ahead.
The damage my hubby sustain was done by the time he was 31 years old.
You are in my prayers. I pray you do the right thing.
Hugz
As said earlier, he would shoot or snort just about anything. Earlier postings told you what could happen to you healthwise in the future. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened to my hubby.
He was married once before me. She was into the drugs also. They had 3 children and were so dysfunctional it isn't even funny. Fast forward through the divorce and single drug years. Then he met me, liked me and wanted to date me. At that time all I did was have a drink occasionally. Since I grew up with a violent alcoholic I told him that he had to make a decision...me or the drugs. Luckily he chose me and life....unfortunately most of the damage has been done.
This is what he has gone through medically over the last 10 years...most of it points back to his heavy drug usage:
10 years ago he had a liver transplant...he almost died that time.
2-1/2 years ago he had open-heart surgery (related to the drug he has to take to suppress his immune system
1 year ago another open heart surgery
11 months ago lung surgery to remove a lobe due to cancer
All of these things are related to the damage he did to his body.
He also has other issues: Arthritis...degenerative and RA, diabetes, and COPD.
This is what you may be looking forward to. My hubby started out recreationally too. He also had the same attitude as you. Well I work hard, I'm successful...don't I deserve a little fun?
Do you want to risk a future like this? I hope not because we have both been through hell...especially during the last year...months of which my hubby was so confused he didn't know if he had his pants on, he didn't know anything to be frank. He still has memory issues.
He is now on disability which he hates....he had to give up the career he loved. He is severely depressed though not as bad as he was. He's finally learning to live the life he has instead of living like he's dead already.
For you, for your family and for the woman you love you need, in this one instance, look ahead instead of the one day at a time rule we usually follow. You are still young enough to get out while you are ahead.
The damage my hubby sustain was done by the time he was 31 years old.
You are in my prayers. I pray you do the right thing.
Hugz
Hey drugsreality2507 and Welcome-
I just wanted to add in my two cents here about cocaine and alcohol specifically. A decade ago I was a fairly successful actress who hung out with a bunch of other successful actors, directors, and film industry people. Booze and coke were a BIG part of the scene. I couldn't go to a party without someone offering me a big old line. I indulged once or twice only to discover that i HATED the feeling of being high (I am not good with stimulants) So after a couple of rough hangovers and feeling suicidally depressed about what I was doing to my body, I stopped. I did however continue to hang with that crowd because they were my peers. Please note that these were all extremely intelligent, highly successful people- some of them lawyers, some of them agents and business owners, and a lot of famous actors.
Over the period of a year or so I lost two of my dear friends to cocaine and ecstasy overdoses. I remember the saddest funeral I ever attended of a 28 year old man who was a lawyer I had dated briefly before I realized how deep into the party scene he was. There were over 800 people packed into the memorial home absolutely keening with grief. A bunch of my friends went out that night to celebrate his life.
They celebrated with alcohol and tons of cocaine and ecstasy.
That was when I walked away entirely. Even from one of my closest girlfriends who I knew was in deep. I confronted her once about her problem but she laughed me off saying that she was just having fun.
Fast forward three years- she contacted me- she'd been living on the other side of the country and partying hard. She'd lost her job, her home, her credibility and all of her friends. She'd lied and stole from so many people that she'd been ostracized. She'd had a near overdose on coke and booze and her family had flown out to intervene.
She went to rehab and is now a long standing member of NA.
She has a beautiful daughter and a very successful career as a fashion stylist in the entertainment industry. She is beautiful, strong, and compassionate. She is also the first person I called when I realized I had gone from using my pain medication to treat my pain, to using my pain medication to numb the trauma of my life at the time.
I have many other stories of perfectly wonderful and successful people whose lives have been destroyed by addiction. Some of them have made it out the other side by the skin of their teeth and are living a life of recovery. Some of them are still using and getting sicker every day. Many of them are dead.
Please consider this. You are playing with fire and you WILL get burned. There is a reason you ended up on our forum today and a reason why so many of us are reaching out to you. We recognize you as a member of our tribe of addicts.
Addiction is non-discriminatory. It does not care about age or race or socio-economic background. It seeks to destroy and is ALWAYS successful if not arrested.
I wish you the best Craig. You've been given lots of info here. We are all here to support you.
Peace
Lu
I just wanted to add in my two cents here about cocaine and alcohol specifically. A decade ago I was a fairly successful actress who hung out with a bunch of other successful actors, directors, and film industry people. Booze and coke were a BIG part of the scene. I couldn't go to a party without someone offering me a big old line. I indulged once or twice only to discover that i HATED the feeling of being high (I am not good with stimulants) So after a couple of rough hangovers and feeling suicidally depressed about what I was doing to my body, I stopped. I did however continue to hang with that crowd because they were my peers. Please note that these were all extremely intelligent, highly successful people- some of them lawyers, some of them agents and business owners, and a lot of famous actors.
Over the period of a year or so I lost two of my dear friends to cocaine and ecstasy overdoses. I remember the saddest funeral I ever attended of a 28 year old man who was a lawyer I had dated briefly before I realized how deep into the party scene he was. There were over 800 people packed into the memorial home absolutely keening with grief. A bunch of my friends went out that night to celebrate his life.
They celebrated with alcohol and tons of cocaine and ecstasy.
That was when I walked away entirely. Even from one of my closest girlfriends who I knew was in deep. I confronted her once about her problem but she laughed me off saying that she was just having fun.
Fast forward three years- she contacted me- she'd been living on the other side of the country and partying hard. She'd lost her job, her home, her credibility and all of her friends. She'd lied and stole from so many people that she'd been ostracized. She'd had a near overdose on coke and booze and her family had flown out to intervene.
She went to rehab and is now a long standing member of NA.
She has a beautiful daughter and a very successful career as a fashion stylist in the entertainment industry. She is beautiful, strong, and compassionate. She is also the first person I called when I realized I had gone from using my pain medication to treat my pain, to using my pain medication to numb the trauma of my life at the time.
I have many other stories of perfectly wonderful and successful people whose lives have been destroyed by addiction. Some of them have made it out the other side by the skin of their teeth and are living a life of recovery. Some of them are still using and getting sicker every day. Many of them are dead.
Please consider this. You are playing with fire and you WILL get burned. There is a reason you ended up on our forum today and a reason why so many of us are reaching out to you. We recognize you as a member of our tribe of addicts.
Addiction is non-discriminatory. It does not care about age or race or socio-economic background. It seeks to destroy and is ALWAYS successful if not arrested.
I wish you the best Craig. You've been given lots of info here. We are all here to support you.
Peace
Lu
Good Luck and Do Not try to do it alone..This is a WE thing not a ME thing. The ME thing gets us in deep shiiit every time.
Try hitting a meeting. You just might find out you are not alone.
Bless
Try hitting a meeting. You just might find out you are not alone.
Bless
Thankyou all for your supportive words and sentiment. I have taken it on board and I know it's time to act.
I will keep u all posted with my slow, steady, arduous recovery. Peace.
I will keep u all posted with my slow, steady, arduous recovery. Peace.
Ok you need to cut the chase and tell the woman you love more then anything.( just quoting you) and tell her you think you have a addition cuz you like to treat yourself to one night of partying alone by yourself because you've earn it! And because partying with her is not enough.you that is a start. I dont want too sound like a a$$hole but that's how it starts,that's how the addition starts.So my friend be good too your girlfriend and yourself and get off the train you are getting on and please do the right thing stop the addition now!!!! Good luck my friend..
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