Aa
This is so hard
First off, let me say how happy I am that I found a group of people who can listen. I have no support system, as I am too ashamed and afraid to embarrass my family. My addiction to Percocet started about 3 years ago, after being diagnosed with grade 4 Endometriosis. I've had too many surgeries to count, and when my son was born via C-Section, the doctor tried NINE times to do spinal anesthesia to no avail. I was referred to pain management, and have been on Percocet 7.5/325 ever since. The pain was bad, but then the cravings got worse. Now, here I am, clean for 4 days, and my body still hurts so bad. I want my life back! I just want to feel good again. Please, if anyone has any advice or stories, please help :(
Four days is great, congrats! All the things you are feeling are normal and you have to fight through them to get to the other side. These first few days/weeks of hell is your body recovering. Don't view this as what its like to be off pills and sober, this is your body still recovering from the wreckage that the pills have caused.
I will tell you I have been addicted to oxycontin for a few years. I use about 300mg a day, snorting and smoking it. I have tried to stop so many times and detoxed so many times it's insane. But there was one time when I had about six months sober, it was the longest ever, and it was a true glimpse at the possible life that is out there for every one of us. It is the purest freedom you will ever know. To wake up in the morning and not be dope sick, to be in control of your day, you can do what you want when you want, and you don't have to worry about if you have enough pills to last you through the day, or when are you going to start getting sick, etc. It is true freedom, and to get to that point, I promise you it is worth every ounce of pain you are feeling right now. And believe me, I understand how painful the withdrawals are. But every day you get through the pain, is another day farther away from your drug and another day closer to the life that you deserve and that is waiting for you.
It still baffles me the way addiction comes storming through people's lives, tearing them apart, and pushing you down a road of pain, humiliation, darkness, shame, despair and all the other stuff that goes along with this disease. Don't let it beat you.
When I had those sixmonths clean, I started truly feeling better after about three weeks. The physical WD lasted about a week and a half, the lack of energy and fatigue carrying out the longest. Then the mental anxiety and depression carried on a few more weeks. The big turning point for me was after about a month and a half I truly felt like myself again. I felt real excitement and happiness, I didn't think about using nearly as much, I found pleasure in things in life that were completely un related to drugs.
I know you can have this for yourself. But don't worry about all that. Just take it each day at a time. Feel good about yourself today, you didn't have to lie to anyone, sneak around, take drugs, you made it through another day on your own, while still fighting the withdrawal. Don't discredit that. Thats a big accomplishment. Tomorrow you will focus on tomorrow, for now just worry about getting through today.
Congrats on your time!
I will tell you I have been addicted to oxycontin for a few years. I use about 300mg a day, snorting and smoking it. I have tried to stop so many times and detoxed so many times it's insane. But there was one time when I had about six months sober, it was the longest ever, and it was a true glimpse at the possible life that is out there for every one of us. It is the purest freedom you will ever know. To wake up in the morning and not be dope sick, to be in control of your day, you can do what you want when you want, and you don't have to worry about if you have enough pills to last you through the day, or when are you going to start getting sick, etc. It is true freedom, and to get to that point, I promise you it is worth every ounce of pain you are feeling right now. And believe me, I understand how painful the withdrawals are. But every day you get through the pain, is another day farther away from your drug and another day closer to the life that you deserve and that is waiting for you.
It still baffles me the way addiction comes storming through people's lives, tearing them apart, and pushing you down a road of pain, humiliation, darkness, shame, despair and all the other stuff that goes along with this disease. Don't let it beat you.
When I had those sixmonths clean, I started truly feeling better after about three weeks. The physical WD lasted about a week and a half, the lack of energy and fatigue carrying out the longest. Then the mental anxiety and depression carried on a few more weeks. The big turning point for me was after about a month and a half I truly felt like myself again. I felt real excitement and happiness, I didn't think about using nearly as much, I found pleasure in things in life that were completely un related to drugs.
I know you can have this for yourself. But don't worry about all that. Just take it each day at a time. Feel good about yourself today, you didn't have to lie to anyone, sneak around, take drugs, you made it through another day on your own, while still fighting the withdrawal. Don't discredit that. Thats a big accomplishment. Tomorrow you will focus on tomorrow, for now just worry about getting through today.
Congrats on your time!
Congrats to day 4. I'm only going through day one and it stinks. I am with you as i have no support system other than this forum which has made me feel like others understand. If you ever need to talk i'm here and willing to chat. I was on norco 10/325 and up t0 30 a day! I know that im going to die if i continue this but it's really hard. I also feel the feelings of being ashamed but you know what? Life happens. Life is hard. And stuff happens. SO I and going to do this for me. And when i succeed it will be my little secret that if i could do this than i can do anything. Pamper yourself as much as you can and remember everyone here says it WILL get better!
You will get through this. I know that seems hard to believe right now, but give it the time it deserves. We didn't get into this mess overnight so....
And sara's right - stay hydrated, take the vitamins/supplements and try to distract yourself as much as possible. The physical stuff typically doesn't last very long (I wasn't typical :( - and then just prepare yourself for the mental side of withdrawal. It takes some time but you WILL make it - and take strength from each day that you don't use because it will carry you into the next one. Slow and steady here, and don't put any unnecessary pressure on yourself right now.
I say this a lot but now is the time to be YOUR best friend. Treat yourself like you would your very favorite person in the world and go easy on yourself. The more you resist the withdrawal the harder it will be. Kind of "sink" into those feelings for the time being. And stock up at home with all the home remedies recommended here - they will help SO much you'll see. I can not tell you the difference in the way I feel today as compared to my using days - it is HUGE! And you're going to see that for yourself soon. :) p.s. and keep posting - VENTING is a much better way to cope with things than taking some stupid pill right?
And sara's right - stay hydrated, take the vitamins/supplements and try to distract yourself as much as possible. The physical stuff typically doesn't last very long (I wasn't typical :( - and then just prepare yourself for the mental side of withdrawal. It takes some time but you WILL make it - and take strength from each day that you don't use because it will carry you into the next one. Slow and steady here, and don't put any unnecessary pressure on yourself right now.
I say this a lot but now is the time to be YOUR best friend. Treat yourself like you would your very favorite person in the world and go easy on yourself. The more you resist the withdrawal the harder it will be. Kind of "sink" into those feelings for the time being. And stock up at home with all the home remedies recommended here - they will help SO much you'll see. I can not tell you the difference in the way I feel today as compared to my using days - it is HUGE! And you're going to see that for yourself soon. :) p.s. and keep posting - VENTING is a much better way to cope with things than taking some stupid pill right?
Hang in there and congrats on the four days.....Believe it or not you are almost out of the woods in regards to the rough physical stuff. Tomorrow should be a smidge better and day 6 is usually a turning point day. You have to stay strong, keep taking your vitamins and supplements, and get some exercise the minute you can get off the couch. Exercise will be the last thing you feel like doing but the more of it you can do, will help you heal considerably faster.....I personally worked my way up to 50 minutes of continuous exercise a day and it made me heal REALLY fast. I feel better now sober than I ever have while on pills.
Hang in there.....You are doing great....and just think.....every minute you are sober is a minute closer to getting your life back! Good luck and God bless!
Hang in there.....You are doing great....and just think.....every minute you are sober is a minute closer to getting your life back! Good luck and God bless!
Thanks for your kind words Sara. Today has been rough, body aches, restlessness, no energy. I just keep praying that I'm going to get through this...
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome to the forum~~
Congrats on 4 days!! That is a great achievement. Energy is usually one of the last things to come back. It can be very frustrating but your body is healing now so it takes time. Move around as much as you can, eat healthy foods and make sure to drink plenty of fluids. You will probably feel increased pain for a bit too. Rebound pain is very common and that will ease up too. Many of us actually had less pain once we were off the pills. Please try and not feel ashamed about this. Hopefully at some point you will be able to talk with your family. Keep talking with us as we are here to support you~~sara
Congrats on 4 days!! That is a great achievement. Energy is usually one of the last things to come back. It can be very frustrating but your body is healing now so it takes time. Move around as much as you can, eat healthy foods and make sure to drink plenty of fluids. You will probably feel increased pain for a bit too. Rebound pain is very common and that will ease up too. Many of us actually had less pain once we were off the pills. Please try and not feel ashamed about this. Hopefully at some point you will be able to talk with your family. Keep talking with us as we are here to support you~~sara
I try to limit the cheesy quotes and proverbs...but this one is simple, short, and speaks volumes...I believe this sums up our struggles perfectly:
"Strong storms grow deep roots."
hang in there ;)
"Strong storms grow deep roots."
hang in there ;)
I really hope so...I just want my energy back...These past 4 days have been rough. Thanks for your comment
Wow- day 4!? Give yourself some credit and don't look back! I understand what you are going through... you are almost there! I've recently posted my own story too:)
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