Everyday I read the forums

[Today30]

Hi everyone
Everyday I read the stories on here hoping that one day I will be string enough to say today is the day.
I'm not there yet and I often wonder how bad it has to get before I say TODAY is the day.
Even though I'm not there yet I find great comfort in reading the stories knowing that I'm
Not alone , I'm addicted to hydrocodene I haven't been able to say it out loud but this is the first time I've even typed it.

[Quietsunshine26]

Hello - I did the same, everyday read & read. Praying someday I could just do it. I took the plunge a couple days ago & I hope you decide to do it as well. I KNOW you can but for now read & read..take care!

[msdelight]

Today30 - is the first day of the rest of your life! Snatch it back! You have taken a very important first step and we are so proud of you for that!! Soon you will be proud of yourself too!

[Ben727]

Keep reading and posting! You have nothing to be ashamed of. People on this forum understand what you're going through and will support you through it all.

[Today30]

That is exactly my dose tooter

[tooter212]

Oh I'm so proud of you!! I know its scary but we will hold your hand. It is so worth it. Before you know it  you'll be holding someone else. I too was hooked on hydro's 10mg 2 5 to 6 times a day. I'm at 2 months clean now and I wouldn't go back for anything. You can do this. God Bless

[digger1976]

The very fact you pushed yourself to start talking to us, shows me the desire to quit is there. It's time to start listening to your gut, you know what you want to do but can't find the strength needed to take the big step. The best price of advice I can give you for when you do take that step is, don't give yourself an out, and surrender to the process! Start by building up supply's, get a counsellor involved, even go to the local AA/NA meeting, even if you sit at the back and just listen, it will help show you it can be done. I wish you nothing but the best my friend, go get your life back!

[Pat1956100]

It's because we have all been there and we know how you are feeling.  You sound like you are very close to being ready to quit.
Just like you were afraid to post you are afraid to make that last commitment to quitting.
You have nothing to lose by trying.  That's all you need to do is try.
Nobody is going to be angry if you don't do it but give it a whirl and see what happens.  
You are obviously not very happy right now.  I know it's scary to quit but when you are ready, you will do it.

[VICourageous]

Oh Hun do not be scared..You will see such a change and feel it too. Your Eyes will have the Light back in them..The skin and hair gets better and brighter. Just know that this ALL will take time..Stay in-tune with your self and know that you will experience some stages as your Brain/Body heals..YOU know that the detox is the easy part (Hard yes) but it is staying Clean that takes the cake..You will have to set up many Boundaries around you..Stay away from old stomping grounds or any people, places or things that can cause triggers. As you Mentally Balance all the Brain Chems and such back you will feel waves come and go..DO NOT give in and run to hide with any Substance. Give this all TIME to Heal..YOU will see that the Grass can be Greener on the other side..Do NOT put any Time limit on it either. TIME varies in many people in there Recovery..Has alot to do with how much you used in a day, how many years you used, what Med or Meds you have used, how old you are and how your health is..Get all the Vit/Min and so on and so forth you will need..We have to replenish the Brain/Body with all the Vit/Min that we have loss while using..Keep drinking tons of water..We will hold your hand all the way..BUT it is up to you to get some kind of Face to Face Aftercare..OK..May the Lord hold you strong..
Vickie

[Today30]

Thank you all so much , I'm overwhelmed that complete strangers would take the time to listen to me. Especially when I haven't done anything to be proud of, but thank you it feels good to cry for once

[Today30]

Thank you, I'm just so tired living a double life. I'm tired of being sad if I'm not "high" I don't even know what happened to me, I look in the mirror and I don't even know who I am... And I'm even more scared of who I will be if I quit

[Pat1956100]

Welcome and great job posting.
It is hard to actually type those words but it's a huge start.
You will be ready when you're ready.
Start stocking up on the things you will need.  Maybe set a date.
Once you make the decision that you want to quit it pretty well sticks with you until you at least give it a try.
Keep posting your feelings, your fears etc and maybe we can help you through this.  You can make this thread ABOUT YOU.  You deserve it.

[meegWpaw]

I remember the period leading up to deciding to quit, it was one of the most dreadful and scariest times of my life ... but it gets so much better!  that's great that you posted and typed it 'out loud'!!!  a good first step, Today, now keep going!

[kyle505]

You will know when you are ready. Right now you are just romancing the addiction, so keep reading. There's really nothing else for you, except the fact that you can lose everything, including your life, to your addiction. From the minute you started you knew it was wrong, but your addict's mind has control.
Being here is easy; going through withdrawals and leading a clean life is hard.
But a wonderful alternative to how you're living now.
K