Face to Face with choice of drug - said no

[kris123]

So I haven't had a pill in 9 days now and I have been on suboxone for 7.  Today I had the chance to buy some percocets and I said no - I also was offered 4 pain pills from a friend and I truned them down.  You know even if I took them I won't get high because the suboxone does not let you get high, but I still had a hard time turning them down.  I thought of how great the high would be, I even went as far as to get them save them get of sub and then take them but I said no I can't - i have came this far and really the high is not that great and the wasted money.  Now I have been having a hard time getting use to sub but it has help and I can say if it wasn't for the sub I might have bought the pills - with sub you can't get high if you take the so it would have been a waste any way.  So but it was still hard for me - is that bad to say?

[AwayFromTheSun]

How much Sub are you taking? I've used the 8mg tab in my past efforts to quit, but I cut them into quarters.. and sometimes even cut those quarters into halves. From what I've read on the internet and by my own personal experience I have found that using my opiate of choice (smoking Oxycontin) after taking a self-prescribed dose of Sub has had mixed results. There have been times where I've waited 24hrs since my last time using Oxy, then took a piece of Sub to ease withdrawal, then relapsed a few hours later... but still got high as usual. However, other times in this same scenario... using Oxy after taking Sub threw me into what seems to be called "precipitated withdrawal"... and I basically forced my body into withdrawal by using the Oxy. It was pretty nasty. To answer your question I guess it just depends on your own personal factors whether or not you will be able to get high after taking Sub. But...... I'm glad to hear you did not accept the drugs. 9 days is really awesome so keep up the good work. I know that even after youve been clean for a month or two... using "just once" will put you right back where you started. Stay strong and stay clean!  

[Bearclaw2]

Good for you, hooray !!  This is pasted from someone else I just wrote and VERY powerful info on how the mind/memory works against us with substance addiction.....It's the risk of re-lapse of opiates that you need to be very concerned about as over time the mind naturally minimizes traumatic experiences (withdrawal) and remmembers or enhances the pleasurable experiences (opiate high) etc. The memory of 'natural' bad experiences in life are minimized over time so that we are able to move forward with new experiences in life but this works opposite or against us with addiction. When the memory of the painful experience of withdrawal fades, our mind 'tricks' us into thinking something like "Hey, I've been really good and clean for a while so a couple here or there would be ok cause I'm no longer an addict and I can 'manage' a pill or two once in a while". This is the brain forgetting the pain and seeking the pleasure again. This is similar to people re-entering abusive relationships with people or drugs. It would be good to write a note about this to yourself and WHEN  'Mr. Tricky' comes knocking at your minds door with a couple Percocet in his hand, promise to read the note, take deep breaths, relax and your ability to say no will be greater. It would also help to take a photo of yourself looking terrible during withdraw and put it with the note, this will help minimize the brains ability to forget the pain and bring it front and center again. We swear we'll never forget this hell but we automatically do, it's built it programming and we must do everything thing we can to defeat this 'amnesia' process in regards to substance abuse. Relying on aftercare with others is very helpful but it can fade and may not always be there everyday. Your very own 'inner mind' aftercare can be very powerful also, with notes/pictures, you just have to commit to reading/viewing them when the urge comes, and come it will. Best to you and your new clean life, good for you !!

[kris123]

I take three 8mg pills of sub once a day - today is the first day I did it.  I don't know if it is really working, I mean it was good the first few days but I have been craving bad and wanting to get that "high" and my thoughts about pills have increased the past two days!!  I called the dr yesterday because I was "emotionally" out of control :(  I was full of anxiety and cryed all day yesterday - it sucked.  My shrink said it was because I still am going through some type of withdrawel from my drug of choice percocets.  The sub dr said to hang in there take another sub pill (up to 3 a day) and give it a couple of days.  So that is where I am at right now - I am craving super bad right now and thinking of pills, yesterday I was out of control emtionally, I wonder what tomorrow has in store for me.  I am having a hard time right now because I want to use, but I know I can't.  I feel bad wanting to use and I am not sure why the craving is so bad today

[vicki595]

It gets better Kris. I'm very proud of you!!    Proud of your clean days and sooo proud of you for not taking the pills!!      But...I'm wondering what kind of a person is trying to get a pregnant woman to continue using??   Can I suggest distancing yourself from these friends?    

Stay strong~~

Vicki   xo