Feeling very vulnerable and weak very guilty

[demonhater]

So today I'm 42 days in I'm very happy and the help and all the advice from here as really guided me and kept me on the right path to my new journey before this I walked a very thin tight rope over a thin sheet of ice that I always felt wobbly shaking very nervous all the time.    But for past 42 days since I'm in touch spiritually and have guidance I'm doing a lot better in many ways   sorry for all that my QUESTION IS my girlfriend had to go to hospital with stomach issues she's been having he said he tested her stress levels and also has  hyper thyroid he gave her Tylenol with cod in it and some sort of anxiety pills and my backs been hurting I mean I can deal with it for the most part my job has me picking up boxes some heavy or I load trucks with all boxes   I usually take excedrine or bayor back and pain sometimes helps I mean not like oxy does but I'm far from going back there but I did sneak one of those Tylenol cod and I feel ashamed guilty and just feel like a looser I mean it's not like oxy so I don't know what to do or how to feel please tell me I didn't mess up my progressive since I quit cold turkey and I have been doing great I feel blessed every day I have faith god bless. Everyone keep on keeping on FIGHT THAT GOOD FIGHT

[gnarly_1]

Hi well there is a saying in N/A  one is to many and 1000 is not enough the whole problem her is just because your not taking pills is not enough your still going to think like a addict ...it takes work but the very way you think must change for me it took the rooms of N/A and working the program  I tried just about everything pastor to my church a shrink even a substance abuse counselor  they all help a little but with the 12 step program you will grow out of additive behavior we always say....''getting clean is the ez part it is staying that way that takes the work now you can do this the hard way or you can try a meeting most of us feel a sigh of relief once we get there google a meeting in your area and go  let me know how it was I think you will be pleasantly suprized ....Gnarly

[demonhater]

Yes thank u she usually does take with her except that day and left them out on top of fridge I took one that day and that was all it didn't feel anything like oxy did and i haven't wanted any since that night I know my brain isn't strong right now but my will power and heart is stronger and no I haven't done any meetings yet  but since I did slip up I best I get there now rather than later thanks for support greatly appreciated

[kyle505]

You did relapse, and you will again and again unless you do something different than you have in the past. Just because you are clean doesn't mean you won't use again, I don't care if it's 42 days or 42 months. If you don't work on your recovery - put a plan in place - then you will never stay clean (just my opinion). As stated above, you have to go to meetings and you have to have a support system in place. And most importantly - at least in my recovery - is telling your secret. To trusted individuals, your doctor, dentist. If you don't you will relapse behind it.
K

[Jinx_777]

don't beat yourself up.  you slipped, but it doesn't mean you fell.  
if the temptation is too much, ask your wife if she can keep them somewhere else.  just get them out of your sight.  

[10356]

Hi Demonhater. How are you doing today ? Yes you relapsed. I do not know of many that would have resisted the temptation so early on in recovery even those with a lot of time would be tempted ! You did not loose the days You only lost the count. You learned a lot in those 42 days, Not the least of how Powerful your addiction is.. . No physical wd but the emotional that comes with relapse can be harsh and your wife has meds in the house. She needs to take her meds out of the house take them with her to work our lock them up.. Hitting some meetings many help you in your resolve. Support right now is essential.. You are in danger of a longer relapse.. Keep reaching for support keep talking ok You have worked hard to get here do not throw it away ! lesa

[jifmoc]

Hey, demon. You are not a loser, what you did is relapse. Online help is not enough. Do you have a sponsor? Do you go to meetings? We have to guard ourselves at every turn.