Getting of oxy's

[gabby4405]

I am now again getting off pills OXYCONTIN I have been really strong for the last 2 wks my turning point was realizing that I am lazy unmotivated by the high amounts of oxycontin that I once thought was giving me energy and making me happy I now know it is a lie I am not getting nothing done I just dont care whether or not I get it done! This summer has been horrible I have had one bad thing happen after another my engine went in my favorite vehicle I had a really nice GMC suburban I then had to take every penny and put it into another vehicle, my daughter went from bad to worse she is diagnosed add, ocd, bi-polar disorder and she is 14 last week I took my other 2 girls on vacation to ceadr pointe keeping my word and not taking my 14 yr old because of her constant disrespect and lying, stealing the doctor says she is exhibitibg all the signs of addiction (she is not an addict) he asked me was there any problems with addiction with me or her father ofcourse I lied and said no but the truth I have been batteling one addiction after another alcohol, cocaine, pills, pills have been the addiction that I cant seem to beet 7yrs started at vicodin and now oxycontin I went to rehab it took almost 3 months to feel normal and back I went againg thinking I could use occasionaly yeah right! but anyways when we got home she was acting out as usual I asked her to get out of my room and she would not I got up and tried to remove her and she had the nerve to say YOU DONT RUN UP ON A BLACK PERSON LIKE THAT! I lost it she is biracial and I am her mom I knocked the **** out of her and then she started yelling I am gonna murder you I was furious I had enough this time I had her picked up by the police and locked up. The guilt sets in I am thinking if I wasnt a junkie maybe I could see what is really bothering her, I am sure I am missing almost everything since i am always in a fog and stay in my room when I am not at work most of the time.  I am always feling tired or depressed doing just enough around the house just to get by, these stupid pills are robbing my energy my happiness my money etc......anyways if my daughter can suffer lock up and cold turkey from her concerta shes been on since 7 yrs old, I can suffer getting off this **** so I can be the mother I once was energetic, caring, clean I always made sure my house was clean and organized now I just dont care.  I have cut my usual use in half in the last 2wks and it hurts but I read my bible and pray and it gives me the motivation I need but right now my back is killing me and spasms are shooting through my muscles but I am feeling some motivation again.  HAS ANYONE SUCCESFULLY GOT OFF THIS BY TAPERING? I know cold turkey is the best but I have to be able to function and I couldnt function at all last time I CT off this **** for about a month I could barely prepare a meal so that is not an option this time.

[theeagle]

Most of us are lousy at doing a taper.......best case is to have someone else hold the pills and give you a days worth at a time. Standard thought is to drop the dose by 10-15% each week......

[liscamdave]

Many, many people get off by tapering. You just have to stick to your guns. Taper 10% every 3-4 days. That is the easiest taper. You can do this. YOu are a good mom, don't doubt that. You just have to focus on getting yourself the help you need and getting clean. You cant help others if you can't help yourself. Don;t keep beating yourself up. Addiction happens to many of us. Its getting through it that will make you stronger..you can do it. Good Luck. We are here for you...

Lisa

[gabby4405]

Thanks for the support I feel stronger every day I do a little less like now I am uncomfortable but also happy because I am not as depressed as I have been for the last 2 weeks, every time I wanna use I think of 100 reasons why I shouldnt and I pick up the bible even though I dont want to and make myself read it truely helps, when I am at work its even better because I only take what my goal is and I cant cheat even if I want to.  A couple of times I did cheat at home and I didnt get any releif I still felt the same weird I think it was GOD because then all I could do was think why did I do that it didnt even help if anything I felt WORSE! truely strange I have everything I need I even have some of my daughters old prescription for vyvanse it is an adhs stimulant and I was told by a doc that it will help with the severe fatigue when it is at its worst, I even have 4 subs for the last of the taper now its all the mental that is the worst and since the only support I have is online I must keep focused!