Can't believe I'm such a wimp.

[Soonerdean]

Some you know my story.  Kicked a 75 mic Fentanyl patch habit and went to Lortabs for my chronic pain.  When I first came off the Fentanyl I hurt all over for months.  After a few months I found my pain level was beginning to come down but did not go away completely.  Being scared about my pain I began taking the Lortabs..so I told myself...was up to 3-5 a day.  

I am now down to 1-2 pills a day and cant seem to get over that hump.  What a Wussy I am.  I'm 5'11, weigh 195lbs, bench press 325lbs, squat 350lbs, work out every morning and have a front yard that recently won "Yard of the Month' and this little white pill is stronger than I am.  I always thought I was a strong person both phsically and mentally but Lortab has proven to be a little stronger than I am.

I have read where FLaddict also has chronic pain but is now approaching 2 months without pills and I cant even go 1 day.  Each time I take one of these things my self esteem goes down.

****,  I'm frustrated.  

[beachtowel]

It is not the lortab that you cannot beat it is the addiction itself......

Human beings I don't care who you are cannot fight addiction by yourself you will loose that battle......
Sigmund Freud and others could not handle it and they knew going in the risks..........

[FLaddict]

Aw honey...  I may have 66 days but the pain is killing me...  I see my rheum doc tommorrow and I am hoping he can help me..
You are trying and that is huge man.. Maybe adjust your taper some.. Have you tried taking them in halves closer together??  I would be happy to help you with your taper if you like?? We are all here to help you anyway we can.. Keep reaching out and talking about how you feel and how you are doing. That in itself will help.. And keep you from beating your self up about your progress..
I am here for you..

[vicaddict]

Never say you are a wimp! I know I feel that way and it is easier for me to tell somebody else something I can't even do! :)

But still....if you have noticed everyone here is in the same boat or has been. Your progress of being down to 2 is a HUGE accomplishment in itself! You should be proud of yourself!

It took you a while to get where you are, and may take a little longer for you to let go of one more then before you know it you will be at ZERO.

Do not be so hard on yourself, that I have noticed for myself is a trigger (for me) of relapse.
You have to know that you are doing something about it, be proud that you are, and know in time you will get through it.

I have to tell myself that, if I don't like I said it is one of my triggers and I say F*** it. But I am trying to learn how to think again after 4 years on this s h i t. Eventually you will be more clearer and just know to take it one minute at a time, one day at a time.

and ps:
I agree with juslikeyou's post above as well.  :)  maybe you just need some "down time" take a break and see how you feel. :)

Keep posting, it helps!

We are all here for you!
Huggs
Tracy

[justlikeyou]

if i lifted that much weight and worked that hard on my garden id need pils too :)

maybe you can back off a little on yourself and then your body wont require medication?

im 100+ days clean, i still have moderate discomfort/pain all day every day, its getting better but moma its slow and i know a few pills would be an INSTANT fix.

i want to live my life fully me tho, and i know when i was toxic with the pills i was a long way from my 'normal' self.

my advise is flush any pills you have b4 you go to sleep tonight, and be  gentler on your self from now on.

a few weeds wont kill anyone, and a day off the weights or lighter weights wont either.