I just read most of today's discussions ... great stuff! Just reading others' thoughts really helps me to keep my perspective.
Today was a good day. It was a good day because I forced myself to be busy. I took my boys to a few places just so they could play. I cleaned out my car and even washed and vacuumed it for the first time in 6+ months (cleaning up all of the ashes was sooo worth the effort). I cleaned all of the dishes, even after supper.
I bought a book I have wanted to reread for some time, and was reminded in the first chapter of what I absolutely must do to stay in recovery - think happy thoughts.
From Harry Potter 5 (think drug of choice in place of dementor):
There was laughter inside his own head, shrill, high-pitched laughter.... He could smell the dementor's putrid, death-cold breath, filling his own lungs, drowning him - Think.... something happy....
But there was no happiness in him.... The dementor's icy fingers were closing on his throat - the high pitched laughter was growing louder and louder, and a voice spoke inside his head - "Bow to death Harry.... It might even by painless.... I would not know.... I have never died."
Harry had to force happy thoughts when they seemed impossible to conjure. I must remember this when temptation is at its peak. I must also remember this to help my recovery because, well, my dopamine receptors are still very whacked.
Scott
Week 5