beachtowel

[JACEM5]

You said you know the strange feelings I talked about in my last post and explained what they were.Can anything bad happen,like a nervous breakdown,or anything,or is it all just in my head.This is REALLY getting to me.I grew up in the Boston projects,I'm 6'1" and 225lbs I don't scare easily,but this has me terrified!I have my moments when I'm on here posting or in the shower when I feel fine,first thing in the morning.That's why I ask if it's more me working myself up and scaring myself.If it is mostly in my head,any Ideas to calm myself down?Thanks.

[JACEM5]

It builds up as the day goes on,it's almost like my brain isn't getting enough of something,everything looks like it would in a dream and I start getting panicky like I'm losing control of something.Laying down and closing my eyes makes it worse.It is very hard to stop thinking something is wrong with me or something bad is going to happen.I hate not being in control,if I had to compare it to something it would be the stories Ive heard of how acid or PCP effects someone,no matter what I do pray,breathing exercises,try to talk myself out of it,nothing works,I'll feel fine for a couple of minutes and then it will come back,but like I said in the morning I feel fine.

[slideshow]

I know what you mean when you say that a man your size doesn't scare easily.  I'm only 6' and 190, but I have years of experience in self defense, in various martial arts as well as simple street knowledge. I was a bouncer and bodyguard in Miami, during the years of the Cocaine Cowboys, so I don't fra many men, even at 55++.  

When I expose my inner thoughts it scares the C R A P out of me.  I don't know about nervious breakdowns, docs call it many thing.  I know where the deep chasm of insanity is and I have looked down into it.  Actually I've fallen in, but always manage to hang onto my wife's hand, or the love of my kids, or just the idea that my family is not ready to lose me yet.

Your fear is natural and does not make you any less of a man.  It helps me to come here and talk.  It helps me to help others.  Perhaps you can work on "working yourself down" instead of up.  When you get these anxious feelings, use them to your advantage, feel their power, and turn them into tools for self defense.  Use them as an aura to surround you and make yourself impenetrable.

Good luck with it.  Those adorable kids in your pic are a good reason to turn your fear into strength.  Good luck to you sir.  You deserve it.

[tootough]

I didn't read your last post but I was wondering, I feel terrible in the morning, terrified and like I'm almost not in control.  You said that's when you feel fine, then  does it build?  I just try to stay calm until around noon, when it starts to lift.  But it feels like anxiety or panic or something.  Sometimes I just try to lay in bed until it goes.  How does it come on after you feel fine in the morning?  I wish you all the best, I'm from Brooklyn and don't scare easily but this is different.Nothing street I have a say in, it seems.