Help! I want to be free!!!

[givnupthehab]

See my story and my plea for help inside this forum.

[givnupthehab]

It is 2:44 AM and I am just finding this site. I feel so inadequate b/c I am a newbie to this whole oxy thing. I have been having fun with about 11 pills per day. I started back in April of 06 when I had some chronic back pain and my reg. doc Rx me percocet. After about 5 refills, he cut me off and sent me to a spec. I went to an orthopedic center and they continued with my perc. Rx's. I really looked at it as treatment but little did I know it was really treating some depression. I tried to get help from a psych. but I was placed on xanax for anxiety. I got a lot going on at home with caring for a elderly mom, 3 kids 14, 9 and 4. I have a wonderful supportive husband who I know is aware of my newly forming habit but ignores it. I have tried to detox before and experienced the fatigue, sweating and diarhea and oh much pain. I thought I was going to loose my mind. I was so scared that it made me have panic attacks. I did have my xanax and that helped. After a few days I was ok but I kept wanting to have something when I came home from work everyday. I used to drink Nyquil and also other alcohol to try and give me a similar high. I am not a fan of alcohol because it always make me sick; even when I was in undergraduate school.

Heres the help I need from you guys; I am almost out of my last bottle of hydrocodone. I have 2 pills left and I am getting nervous. My last visit to the ortho for a post surgical procedure I faked my way into over the Christmas Holiday was last Thurs. I usually call his triage line and see if they can get him to call in another script. I know he will not do it b/c he is noticing my weekly call in habit. I WANT TO QUIT!!! I am going to get rid of my kids for the weekend and my husband is scheduled to be out of town for drill. I have a friend that I am going to confide in so she can check on me over the weekend but I want to go cold turkey. I need to do this in order to regain my life from drugs. I know I may have a significantly lower habit than most I have read about but I don't want to continue on this death trap. I know the imodium AD is good for the diarhea but what else do you guys recommend that I do to help with some of the symtoms I encountered last time?

Please answer my post. I really need the support right now.

Much Love and Thanks

[blitz6]

Hi
I have not been through w/d from this type of drug,but you have come to the best place for help,people will be getting back to you soon,the people here have a lot of good ideas for w/d,you will feel like sh** for a while but it does get better in a few days from what I am told,drink a lot of fluids,try to keep yourself busy,take hot baths,that's what I have seen seems to help most people,look back through the old post there is a lot of good info there,you will get tons of help here you are not alone,stay strong YOU CAN DO THIS!!If you just need to talk post away you will get plenty of replys.
                Tim

[cupoftea]

I have a left a little trail of stuff over the past few days as I have come cold turkey off 400 mg day Tramadol. I think my tips are pretty much all there, but I am going to post something for Minnie 11 this evening, so please watch for that. It has been awful but it has got better really quickly with everyday being easier. Like you I have a back problem so I also have to deal with the pain. But it's worth it. My personal preference has been to not use other medications, just natural ways to cope with symptoms. This was a personal choice, mainly because I was already feeling poisoned without adding anything else. I wish you well. It really is quite short in the grand scheme of life, but it doesn't feel like it at the time! Stay strong and determined. I have found this forum really helpful.

[givnupthehab]

Thanks for your support.  I am really scared to go through this alone.  I have confided into my husband and 2 other friends today.  They are all very supportive and willing to help me through.  My husband will be gone all weekend to drill and I know he wants to be here to help me.  My girlfriend encouraged me to come and stay with her for the weekend.  I think I am going to go.  I tried to get some xanax from my doc today b/c I am completely out.  He will not give it up until I schedule an appt. I don't use that often at all.  I just take them when I am having high anxiety.  

Thanks for the suggesstions. I am going to realy cruise through the site tonight to find all of the remedies to get through this.

I will post later!

Peace and love!

[cupoftea]

Go for it! This forum is a really helpful place. It is the first time I have ever used one and over the past few days it has kept me going in some of my worst moments. you CAN do it! I'm off to bed now (live in france). I dread the nights because of the pain, but I am so tired. I try to stay up as long as I can because if it's too long till morning my back gets so stiff and sore I can't stay in bed and it's better to be awake now than on my own at 4am. Thinking of you and send loads of support for your success.

[1911]

I hope my personal experience will be of some help and encouragment to you.

I am just finishing my first week of cold turkey.  It was a nightmare.  For two nights I walked the house from 10:00 pm to sunrise. I had all the withdrawl symptoms and I would be lying if I didn't admit it was an ordeal.


I'M SHARING THIS WITH YOU BECAUSE...IF I CAN DO IT...THEN SO CAN YOU.
  

Through the withdrawl process last week...I kept telling myself "you can do it."  I repeated that mantra because I was constantly tempted to "get out of this mess with the old drugs".  Or, "I'll go back to the drugs, feel normal again, and then sign up for detox."  I had a hard time convincing myself that was the drugs talking.  

All week I kept telling myself that every minute I experienced withdrawl symptoms was an investment in my future life...a life of freedom.

Good luck...you can do it...!

  









  

[blitz6]

you are on your way to a much better life just hang in there,get very tough with yourself dig very deep and pull all the strength you have,this is a fight that you can win,just keep telling yourself you are stronger than the pills,come here post often it helps to talk,We all have it in us to do anything we want to do,we just have to dig deep to get it!

[MuKappaDelta]

Let me begin by wishing you well!  Dig deep, its all about willpower.  This can be overcome, keep telling yourself that, and you will get through this thing.

I know it can be a very difficult and yes, a frightening thing to confront on your own, and yes, at this time you do feel very so very alone.

By all means go over to your girlfriend's house for the weekend.  Supportive friends can be a godsend at times like this.  Rent a bunch of DVDs, stock up on your favourite foods (yes, even the less than healthy ones!)  Aside from depriving yourself of the opioids, indulge yourself in everything else, at least during the WD period.

So, yes, the Immodium (loperamide) can be helpful in minimizing the frequent trots to the bathroom.  Some Benadryl (diphenhydramine HCL) will help with the sniffles/runny nose and itchy, watery eyes.  Its sedative effect may also help to relax you somewhat, but do not take more than the recommended dose as this can cause restless leg syndrome.  You will have enough problems with this sort of thing from the WD, no need to be contributing to that by taking high doses of Benadryl.  Some Advil will help with muscle cramps a bit, but do not expect any miracles.  Do try and get out for some brisk walks with your girlfriend, the exercise will help metabolize the opioids in your system more quickly.  Also, for similar reasons, try and eat food, even when you do not really feel up to it.  Drink lots of water too.

Now, on the Rx side of things.  If you can get to a doctor at a walk-in clinic or something, just let them know you are doing a home detox from opioids.  Soma (carisoprodol), if you can get it, will help with muscle cramps.  Clonidine would help reduce the overall yucky feeling you will experience, and decrease the sweats and hot/cold flashes.  I have read some good things about Neurontin (gabapentin) and Doxepin, but have no personal experience with either.  They can be very effective in sedating you and allowing you to get some sleep.  I seem to recall that you have benzos (Xanax, Ativan, Valium, etc)?  Please be very careful with benzos.  Opioid addiction is very unpleasant.  Benzo addiction is downright scary.  Yes, they may help with the anxiety and sedate you to the point where you can grab a small measure of sleep, but keep in mind that they do slow your metabolism and may actually prolong the acute WD period.  Use with care.

Ultimately there is no magic bullet for this, well save for one, willpower.  You can beat this thing, you just have to dig deep and give it your all.  As I said, it can be frightening, but try and avoid "psyching" yourself out.  Stand firm, and you will get through this period of primary WD.  The harder part will be ahead of you then, namely, relapsing and using again, but that is another chapter.  I really do wish you all the best!  We are all rooting for you.  Please keep us posted on your progress, and do not be afraid to ask for anything, support, etc.  Best of luck!

Ray

[givnupthehab]

OMG, you really hit everything on the nail.  I am trying to stay strong.  I take care of my mom who has some clonidine for HBP.  Is this the same meds you were talking about?  believe it or not, I am a chicken with taking meds not Rx to me.  I know that sounds weird but that is part of my drama.  I am otherwise healthy but I am afraid of non prescribed drugs.  

My arms are throbing and very painful now.  I had a mobic around 5:30.  I asked on another question whether I can take Motrin 800 now.  what do you think???

Thanks again for the encouragement.