Help, husband quit smoking pot very crabby!

OK guys, I need some advice please! My husband has been a daily pot smoker since he was 13. We've been married 8 years and he's tried to quit 3 times. Never for long but always a complete jerk to my kids and myself  but, I used to have my pills to escape his extreme irritability. Well he quit again 2 weeks ago. It sucks!!! He's been an ass to me this whole time but he wants me to be with him to make him feel better,if you know what I mean. He says he'll make it up to me. It is sooo hard for me to give him a break. He lives for our kids and is the responsible one in our relationship. The problem is he lets me know it ALL THE TIME. I have never smoked pot so does anyone have any comments on how long this will last. What should I expect as far as withdrawel? He's seen me detox at home sooo many times but I was never mean to him. I should be grateful that we will both finally be clean for our kids. I think I'm afraid I'll relapse because he makes me feel so badly about myself when he's like this. I can do nothing right you know? How can I help him get through this without losing my own sanity in the meantime?

[tex3]

I wish I had some concrete answers on how long it will take him to get through that, but I just don't know. I can empathize, though. My husband chews tobacco, a disgusting habit I despise. He's tried to quit several times and is always a real ass when he does. He's never been successful as he always goes back when it gets too bad.
What I would suggest is telling your husband what you told us; how he's made you feel with his behavior. Maybe that will be enough to lighten him up some, if he realizes he is making you feel so awful. If that doesn't work, come here and *****, but don't go back to using! You know that would be a mistake and a rationalization, so I don't have to tell you that. How are you doing, otherwise? Hang in there; maybe soon you will both be free of this beast!

[Avs]

Greetings to all. I am a first time poster, and bad enough I had to break a Thread but you can't post otherwise. Before I begin I've seen post in the past couple of days and I want to get this off my shoulder, GWH, no matter what happened, hold your head up - you did nothing wrong my friend, I'm not sure about what happened in the past and don't want to bring it up, but hold your head up, and like I always say, "Smile, It's the Only thing that don't cost and it's contagous." Now, on to my question. I've been on Xanax for over 2 years, well a generic version, 2 mg name brand can be expensive. I recently went to a new pharmacy and they carry the "Geneva" generic, is it possible for this to be a little stronger? As well as all of us know on benzo's after a while you become prone to the side effects of them, however this seems stronger than the "Mylan or any other, even name brand." Yes I do know my medication, I can't say I abuse them, however it appears this group will give you real answers. I thank you in advance.

[groovygirl]

i'm sure there are tons and tons of drug info sites you could find to get that information.  this is an addiction help forum. people here are trying to get off drugs, not think about what the strongest benzos are.  i feel overly protective of members here when it comes to people coming here to get info on the effects of drugs, and i'm sorry if this sounds harsh. to break a thread where someone is reaching out for help, to ask about the srength of some benzo is rude and insensitive.

[mrmichael67]

As soon as I saw your name in the list of posts under the question, I knew you were going to complain about someone butting into the post.  What are people supposed to do when this board only allows one question a day?  I can't see how one person should be able to have the floor for an entire 24 hours and screw everybody else!  Everyone here has a right to ask a question.  I think your frustration should be aimed at the people who maintain this place.  If they had someone who could archive the other 'dead' threads, then maybe they could allow more than one question a day.  And, the person you just bashed really didn't do anything wrong.  They just asked whether it was possible for a certain generic to be stronger than another or even the name brand.  I think you should lighten up a little....I mean a lot.  Don't worry, I think the original poster will have their question answered.  I could see if they put a limit on the number of posts allowed in a thread, but they don't.  Plenty of room for everyone.  It's the radioboy thread and what you just posted that finalized my decision to leave here.  Things around here will never change.  There will always be someone who has a chip on their shoulder and that shouldn't have to be anyone else's problem.

[groovygirl]

whatever - i don't think this is the place to dig up info on drugs - this is specifically an addiction site...it is totally inappropriate to ask those questions here.  if you don't like it, tough ****.

[mrmichael67]

I still don't see what was wrong with that post.  And, nice language.  You're right, this is an addiction forum, not a truck driver's convention.

[mrmichael67]

I just had to see the response in case you were wondering why I haven't left. From now on, you won't see my name anymore.

[Avs]

I broke the thread because I don't want to overdose, think before you speak, talk about rude.

[GOD]

Hey,

Please don't leave the forum! Some of us REALLY appreciate your insight and knowledge of our chosen subject. Lately, a lot of the people on this forum have gotten a chip on their shoulder, or are just downright pissy. All of us have had bad days at one time or the other.....

But, as I said before, I hope you can find it in your heart to stick around! I believe that you have personally saved more than one life here, and THAT is what really matters. Keep up your good work!

Cheers,
Jess

[groovygirl]

please stop the vics now if you possibly can!!!  you haven't gotten to the point of no return yet.  i know they make you feel good now, but after awhile they won't give you that feeling anymore, and you will need to take them to simply feel normal.  addicts chase that feeling they got at the beginning of their addiction.

[groovygirl]

i'm sure your dr and pharmacist would have said something about the strength if there was danger of overdosing. if taken as prescribed, i'm sure there is nothing to worry about.

why is it ok for others to post messages similar to mine when in the past people have come here asking questions about drugs?

mrmichael sounds like dive - angry and self-serving.  i was trying to take care of the forum...maybe i was harsh, but i hate people thinking that just because there are a bunch of addicts here, it is a drug info site...there are plenty of those places...there aren't plenty of sites just like this.

[Mamafeathers]

Hello, I am new here... and I am certainly not an expert but I have dealt with a fiance who was an alchoholic, so I have dealt with that sort of attitude before.  I think totally understand what you are feeling - it's tough!  I think the most important thing is for you to not LET him 'use' YOU as his 'fix'.  Easier said than done.  I guess that falls under the whole co-dependent thing, eh?  I have no shining words of advice that come to mind, except for a bunch of cliches like 'hang in there'which are probably of no help... but please know I am rooting for you and wishing both of you ALL the best!  My fiance, Steve, eventually passed away - and I am now very happily married to a terrific man - but I often think of Steve and wonder how it must have felt to be in such a place as that (addiction to alchohol), and to that extreme.  He couldn't get out of bed without a beer.  He was NEVER without a beer in his hand.  EVER.  I'm currently wondering if I am becoming addicted to Vicodin, after being given some 3 weeks ago for pain after major surgery - which is how I found this site... but that's another story, and I didn't come here to break your thread - just to show some support.  WIshing you all the best!

[groovygirl]

i'm not just being pissy.  i'm trying to save this forum from becoming an info site for drug seekers.

[GOD]

Sorry about the "Pissy" remark.... I think I was crabby at the time, and you do have a good point about the "Seekers"--

Anyway, Have a great day and shine on!

Jess

[Avs]

To be completeley honest it sounded like some people, no names mentioned were high last night when they posted.  Lighten up in this room, we are here to help each other, as for as those who have problems with Thread breaing due to Question limitations, do us a favor, leave the freaking forum.

[Hinkster]

Mrmichael hang in there bud. You offer a wealth of good info.
Hell I even read somewhere in here where someone ask if you
were a doctor. Thats the ulitmate compliment. You would be
missed. I don't think Groovey meant any harm she is just looking
out for the forum. Please think twice before you bolt. I can
always get you on the other forum, but some of these good people
who need help don't have that luxury.
Tom

[hippy]

mr. michael, has been helpful and informitive , i for one am grateful,

[Witchywoman]

Hang in there folks. Over the year and a half I've been on this forum, I see us go through this kind of thing periodically.

I too find it important personally that this forum remain focused on recovery issues.  I've learned though that we need to be flexible on the posts because sometimes people start to post before they admit that they have an addiction. When I first started to post, I lurked for a while and didn't post until I was ready to write the words "I am an addict".  While I was in early recovery I found it extremely tough to wade through posts that were focused on recreational use or posts from folks who discussed the joys of getting high.  It does help to keep posts focused on recovery issues, rather than have this board serve as a place to get info on drug strength etc.  But we dont' know the full story behind who posts what, and so a bit of flexibility initially is important. Someone who has a pattern of repeatedly posting about recreational use or only wants info about the effects of drugs is going to be someone I just choose to not respond to.

Groovy I totally understand your frustration.
Michael, I hope you don't leave.
I think we can just chalk this up to the differences in style we all have.  I do believe our common goal is recovery.

love to all,
WW

[groovygirl]

why do people choose sides when something like this comes up?  it isn't high school or a popularity contest.

7477 - as far as your idiotic comments go, don't think you can come here for the first time and tell me to leave the forum.  it really isn't up to you.  if your dr. didn't tell you how to use your medication, then maybe you should switch drs.  also, i don't get high...i'm in recovery, so if your comment was directed to me you couldn't be more off base.

[mrmichael67]

GWH, my e-mail is ***@****.  I didn't say I wouldn't lurk occasionally and I had to see what happened.  Goodbye people.  I am not gunning for people to ask me to stay.  I have had enough.  Besides, do you really want my 'angry' posts anyway?  Whatever!  If you want to find me, I will be at the other forum where there is an extreme lack of people jumping on other people's cases and genuine compassion.  And, you can ask all the questions you want.

[trumpet69s]

No one posted an answer about the lady and her husband trying to get off pot.  I smoked pot from the time I was 12 to the age of 25.  I just quit and I did not have any withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms and I know many others who have done the same. Pot is not addictive like nicotine or opium.  It does not have any physical addictive chemicals just mental.  Tell your husband to grow up and stop being such a crab.

[groovygirl]

i was trying to do something for the good of the board.  you guys however, are writing only to give me a hard time.  i didn't set out to personally bash anyone, but i guess this has become a free-for-all.

i'm glad you feel that i have helped you.  i know you are probably mad at me because i have backed offj from corresponding with you so much - maybe i haven't been as responsive to you as you would have liked.  getting personal with people online can be tricky (and dangerous).  it sounds like i have offended you by doing that, so i'm sorry.  it's the reason why i never wanted to answer all of your questions or be too specific about personal things.  i'm sorry you feel abandoned or whatever.  what i have just said seems like the only logical explanation for your last post.  no one asked you if you agreed with michael, and no one wanted to turn this into a who's right and who's wrong battle.  maybe we should get back to the first post and try to help the woman whose husband is trying to quit pot huh?

i don't have much experience with quitting pot, so i left it to others more knowledgeable.

[lifeisbetter]

Mr. or Ms. Trumpet, I love you. Thanks for the reply. I knew somebody would eventually. Mamafeathers you too. Please bear with us addicts we tend to get our feathers ruffled at times. Get it Mamafeathers/ruffled. If at all possible stop the Vicodan now...if you only knew what you'd be avoiding.
Tex3 Hi sweety you ok?

everyone: seriously if you get a minute I NEED A PEP TALK!!! I can only take so much. Remind me why I'm doing this?

[groovygirl]

you're doing this because you KNOW life can be better - just like your name remember?  what's going on?  are you having a tough day?

[OxyDout]

I swear to god if you leave, I'll, I'll..... huh, the internet what a wonderful thing.  

Guys, it it inevitable people will do things and or say things that you disagree with and just don't like, however, thats when you ignore it and move on.  

Mr.Michael, I have appreciated all posts you have contributed to this forum, you have been a pillar to the structure in which this place has been formed.  I to have wanted to not post here anymore and get very tired of it at times, but Ive learned to keep the door open just in case, but do me a favor and post atleast one more time, I would love to have your email address. I hope all is well.  

Groovy, I agree with MrMichael, HOWEVER, you have been a large part of my recovery, you showed me that I DON'T know everything and that I need to keep an open mind to different opinions, so I wouldn't want to see you get irritated at little things, you know?  I mean, I to knew when I saw your name you were going to say something about someone breaking a thread, its not worth it. I know your gonna get mad when you read this, but for what its worth, thank you for your help.

GWH

[groovygirl]

wow, you're still here. i guess saying you were going to leave accomplished what you wanted - people chose your side, and you got the attention you wanted. i hate this kind of stuff, and it was exactly what i was trying to help this forum avoid. i am learning not to let people walk all over me, and i needed to respond to your hostile post, but since you are leaving (sure), i guess it will become peaceful again?

[fishman59]

Come on people I come here to get advice & hopefully find a way to get myself off this sickening boat ride, if I wanted a soap opera I would turn on the tube in the afternoon!!! PLEASE stop this petty bickering and do something constructive---how about an addict-chat room. I would prefer a discussion in real time...

[groovygirl]

altho i am a part of this mess, my original hope was to try to strengthen this board...BUT, some people chose to get personal (and nasty), so i retaliated.  i should have just ignored it and been the adult....live and learn.  i don't threaten to leave...i just go away when i need to and come back when i need to.

thanks for being the mature one!  have a good day.

[Tessa]

Can someone PLEASE tell me where this "other forum", that mrmichael67 spoke of, is??  There is WAY too much drama in this one! People come here for help, not for all of this soap opera BS!!!
Thanks

[OxyDout]

I have been trying to post all day, but my computer is not working well, I did want to clear a couple of things up, BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST....

I don't know who asked the question, but I don't know too much about pot, I did smoke a good amount in college, and I had friends who smoked 4 to 5 times a day, which to me is a good amount, in anycase, when push came to shove, they stopped, cold turkey, with no complaints and or withdrawal, as a matter of fact, they still smoke on the weekends ONLY, so it was not addictive for them, and so much so that they can still smoke on weekends and not even think of it during the week.  I think the issue could be, your husband doesn't want to stop!! like we have always said, you have to WANT TO STOP, you can't make it happen, neither can anyone else.  So good luck to you and I really hope it all works out.

Now, Groovy, I wasn't personally attacking you, I just so what had occurred and wanted to speak up in agreement because I to think its ok to break threads, however, WITH DISCRETION.

I feel no abandonment what so ever, nor was it my main goal to find out all about your life, I just thought it was nice to have someone from this forum in the same geographical location is all, which is why I had told you before that we seemed to be butting heads and that it would be best to speak over the forum.  And Yes, you have helped me, during our trials and tribulations,hahaa, I say that because you helped me through our conflict, you helped me see the right perspective on things, so thank you.

So, I don't know too much about pot, except for what I have posted,  I wish I could help more, but maybe you should confront him and ask him, do you want to do this?? or do you want to continue smoking pot? get him to really come out with it, and weigh the pros and cons of the situation, that might make things easier or harder, but either way, youll get the true answer.

Good luck

[groovygirl]

it was i who said i thought we should ONLY speak via the forum, and then you seemed to get p.o'd about it. you didn't seem to understand why i felt that way, and it was because you got too personal...wanting to know where my husband and i worked, etc.  whatever....all being said and done i wish you well in your recovery, and i hope one of these times you will make it. good luck

[mrmichael67]

E-mail me at ***@**** and I'll get you there.  Groovy, this all started because you gave someone hell over asking whether it is possible for one generic to be stronger than another.  The real reason you were mad at them was because of butting into the thread.  You have been trumpeting this for awhile now.  There was nothing nasty in what I posted, I just posted the truth.  Stop trying to act like the victim here, you're not.  That person who asked the question you bashed asked a completely legit question.  I get the generic ms contin because I think it is stronger than the brand.  So, now am I not allowed here?  I don't want to be anyway, but there seemed to be unfinished business.  I didn't say I wanted to leave so people could jump on my side.  In another thread, you cried because someone agreed with me.  I didn't threaten to leave there, did I?  That person wasn't looking where to score anything or anything remotely like that.  You had no business saying anything to them like that.  If you are truly out to help people, then you would want people to ask questions.  There is no limit to the amount of posts, so why not?  And, are you a moderator or admin here?

[OxyDout]

well I'm not going to argue about who said what first, and Like I said, I was just excited to here that one of these names on this forum was close by "physically".  but as we both realized quickly, we really didn't see eye to eye at all.  

GETTING BACK TO THE TRUE FUNCTIONALITY OF THIS FORUM.........

Groovy, how are your husband and daughter? most importantly, how are you? I know you have been using Buprenex as a substitute for hydros and that what was supposed to be a taper, slowly became another addiction.  That happens to us all, but what now? are you going to really try and stop, or just keep where you are now?

[skipper]

ok, i give up. would someone please tell me what the hell every-
one is so upset and unhappy about? last saturday my wife went to
do some work in Duluth, Minnesota. we had a terriable argument
right before she left. when she called me saturday night we both
were very remorseful. after hearing about 60* temps, it didn't
take much to convince me to hop a plane the next day to join her.
(did i mention the weather was in the mid 90s here?) i got back
home wed. night/thursday morning to find the people on this forum
at each others throats. what gives? i can be as difficult as the
next person, but in the 1 year plus i've frequented this forum, i
have never seen so many unhappy people. what gives?

get an angel on your shoulders
kip

[mrmichael67]

What gives is that people should be able to ask a simple question without being jumped on for it.  7477 or whatever simply asked if it was possible for one generic to be stronger than another....that was it!  I agree with not having people asking drug seeking questions, but I don't see the foul there.  That was a perfectly innocent question.  And, with the way that this forum is operating, the only way to be heard is to break into a thread.  If there was a limit on the number of questions allowed, then I could see where breaking in might be a problem.  But, there isn't.  There are people who rely on this board for their own sobriety and expecting to wait for their .001% chance of being able to ask a question is unreasonable.

[groovygirl]

you're still here?

[Witchywoman]

I'm confused about the heat here too Kip.  I don't understand what's up, but the simple solution is to just get back to supporting each other. We're just like all other human beings, our buttons get pushed sometimes, we all can get defensive. But let's remember we're all in the same boat.  Sometimes it is the very ability to get angry that helps us recover. If we get as pissed off at our addiction as we do at each other sometime, and use that anger to fight the Dragon, we can get farther faster. My humble opinion.

We don't all have to agree with each other or like what each other says all the time.  Agreeing to disagree is what I've heard it called.  ;-)

This place, like other places, has its cycles with moods and tempers flaring from time to time. There's no escaping that anywhere, as far as I can tell. But this is a darn good place, that saved me and while I may not post that often, I care about all of us here.

love,
WW

[mrmichael67]

Like I said, unfinished business.  It is obvious you are an instigater, your last post shows that.  What you should do is apologize to 7477 or whatever the number is for overreacting.  Still can't help but see that you are the only one who called that post a drug seeking post.

[skipper]

witchywoman:

yes, it can get rather unpleasent here at times. it's good to hear
from someone who isn't caught up in whatever it is now.

irish rose is still in Duluth. she is due back tomarrow night. i
went the the whole day without oxy...felt ok till about 20 minutes
ago...took .2 mg bup. i was sort of hopping i'ld get by without
anything...maybe later this week.

how are you? i hope your household is doing fine, have you gotten a
dog yet? i'ld be lost without mine!

keep an angel on your shoulder!
kip

[skipper]

hey people:
for what ever it's worth, i've been around this forum for awhile.
matter of fact witchy woman and i go back uite a few months. i
find myself in agreement with witchy woman about all this. lets
just write it off as all of us being different in style. i re-
member a while back...getting into a dis agreement with witchy
woman. instead of the usual fur flying, blood letting, we agreed
to disagree. golly, we acted like adults! to this day witchy
woman comands my respect and more importantly, i consider her a
a very good friend who has always been there for me in my many
hours of need! and we still can't always agree!

i'm real tired of trying to keep up with who is going...who is
staying...who said what. last fall there was a major falling out,
a whole bunch of people got mad, left and started another forum.
where there was only one, now there are two. that's the way i
choose to see it.

hey people when ya' get right down to it what do we have here,
except each other? our strengths are our differences. i don't
want to be thought of as a doctor, troublemaker, or anything else
other than what i am....a drug addict who is nothing alone. but
if i have this forum...i have a chance to be everything i was
intended to be. point is I CAN'T DO IT ALONE!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[groovygirl]

it's a rainy saturday morning where i am.  how is everyone feeling today?  i can use my right hand for typing now.  carpal tunnel surgery is really a snap.

i am continuing to taper the bup, and my hope is that it will all just be a memory in a couple months.  how is everyone else doing?  

[skipper]

groovy:
the sun is out here...it's torqueing it'self up to be a real stiker by late afternoon, so rain actually sounds good. earlyer this week i spent a few days with my wife in Duluth, Minnesota. the day i arived the temp was 81*. all the crazy sweedes (well jessie is their govenor) were ecstatic about the "heat wave." temps returned to the low 60's i only wished my dog woud have been with us. the lake has 3 tiers of paved paths along the urban shorline... this is one of the most beautiful places the upper mid-west has to offer.

i thought you would see a big pay off with the carpal-tunnel surgery. i awake every morning with the fingers of both hands tingleing like half numb sausages....sometimes it last all day. i'm not real upset by it as neck surgery is king kong compared to the minor discomfort. i hope your feeling beter, you deserve it....one more thing (and don't take this the wrong way)

just keep an angel on your shoulder,
never mind what the SAD FOLKS say
never throw your dreams away
for they will save your life one day

kip

[angst]

i hope you keep lurking and put your two cents worth in when needed.  you are needed here.  no one else has the information you do.  it would be a great loss not only to us recovering addicts, chronic pain patients and people with questions, but to
the new posters with questions groovy cannot answer.  thank you
for enlightening all of us at times.  i will miss your ability to
speak the truth about a medication, mixtures, and your own condition.  God bless you,  Ava

[angst]

i take what i can use and leave the rest.  i also believe most of
us learned what we needed to get along in kindergarten.  basic
civil treatment of others on this ever shrinking planet.  i am a
drug addict.  there is no greater help than one addict helping
another addict.  that is my reason for being on this forum.  i
have made alliances, they know i was down for the wire in getting a job.  i enjoyed telling them i got one and not so bad of one.  i used to be a nurse, but i'm not on SSI or living off my exhusband.  i am making my own way.  the na text talks about us becoming productive members of society.  i hope to do better, but i am okay for now.  i hope some people are glad for me.
if you wish me ill, then you are only hurting yourself.  i wish you the best of life.  i do not take sides.  i only think it would be a waste if some people quit the forum.  that is it.

[groovygirl]

i thought we were done with the digs/fighting here.  why don't we move on ok?  if you are one of the pro-michael people, why don't you post to him, and you can just forget all about me?  that would be wonderful!

[pennylane]

I have a question.  Did your husband's pot smoking interfere in your lives?  Pot smoking in itself seems fairly harmless.  It isn't physically addicting.  It is pretty good for pain from what I hear.  If my husband smoked pot, I probably wouldn't care too much as long as he didn't do it around children or in the house - because it stinks!  However, it it took over his entire life and made him unable to function, then I could see why you'd be forcing him to quit.  Well, I hope he is able to overcome this, and with your support he should be able to.

[Witchywoman]

Skip, I hope things are going ok for you and Irish Rose, you are both in my thoughts a lot and I hope things are not too hectic.
I'm ok...but just ok. My husband was laid off last week from his job, and we can't make the bills on just my salary. He got one month severance, and we are praying that is enough time to find a better job. He hated the commute, but liked his work. The company had to lay off 50% of its employees due to posting losses. The Software industry is having tough times. So , I'm terrified, and trying to hold my ground and not crumble.

I've been to two Doctors in the past week, both of whom want to put me on oxy, even after telling them I'm an addict. LOL  It's too bizarre.  Needless to say, I said no to the oxy.  Tuesday I go in for a facet joint inject, which might greatly reduce my back pain. That would be a blessing I"m willing to accept!!

Groovy, angst's post had nothing in it against you.  I don't understand your reaction.  You are a valued member here, so are many others. We can't all agree, and we've got to be able to express opinions that differ without explosions happening over it.

One of my biggest constant lessons is to try to not take things personally. I fail at it a lot, but it gets easier the more I try.  Just try to let it roll off your back and not assume that if someone posts something kind toward michael or someone you are in conflict with, that does not in anyway mean they are against you.  Just try to breathe deeply and know that we do care about you and want you here and really hope the conflict can settle down. You've got a lot to offer, and I hope that you can get the support you deserve here as well. Just try to not take things personally and try to not make assumptions.  I know it's hard, I have a hard time with it to, and in fact am afraid that I'm just going to make you mad by writing this. But I'm writing it out of love and I hope you can see that.

Everyone else....I'll be on and off here..hubbie needs the computer a lot to look for a job, since his was stolen when our house was broken into last month (it's been a really bad month...)  I've got to try to not fall into the depression that is trying to take over.

love to all,
WW

[angst]

sorry to hear the bad news. i am finally employed.  it is not the
most important job, but i like it.  i hope things settle down around the forum.  i wonder if i am useful at helping others as one addict to another.  i can try.  i also will be posting less as i work more.  good to hear you posting.  good luck with the injection.  i hope it gives you relief.  you know what is best.
Ava

[1fortheroad]

i wasn't going to answer, but since it's you and i've always respected your opinion, i will.  angst has always thrown little digs at me including her post about "groovy's forum" etc, etc.  i don't understand how you could not think there was anything antagonistic there, but to each his own.  i have been on the receiving end of too many negative posts this past week, and i for one don't think this place is worth my continuing to defend myself.  most of my "friends" have left anyhow, and no one here likes to hear the truth.  i can't believe some of the bull i read here, and many people looking for help only want to be sympathized with, not hear the cold, harsh truth of what it's going to take to get out of the cycle.  i wanted to leave months ago, but skipper told me that helping others was the way to repay being helped, so i tried to do that.  no one wants the "tough love" kind of help, and would rather discuss their jobs, drugs and whatever.  so good luck to you all - i hope you all end up "doing" something to help yourselves rather than "typing" a daily diary here.

[skipper]

groovy:
i certainly hope this is not the last correspondence we share with each other. i have watched with growing concern the "fundamentalist intolerance" and bewilderment of your posts for sometime now. the last thing i wish to do is take your inventory, and put down a list of things that hinder your recovery. if i were into such games, i would instead of posting, attend one of the most vicious AA meeetings in my geographic area. this meeting speacialiszes in "blood-letting and witch burning. it is run by a getstapo of step police who stop at nothing.... all in the  guise of recovery!

ya' know the really funny (funny odd and funny ha, ha) thing about "tough love kind of help," is i enjoy dispenceing it far more than i do recieveing it. be patient wtih us (and yourself), see god is not anywhere near done with you or i or anyone.

i know that it can be very frustratating trying to help someone who would rather, instead of talk of recovery, talk of other things. but dear friend jobs, drug consumption, the state of our love life, and all the other superficial matters are also to some extent very important parts of recovery.

groovy, 20 years ago a man (who has since died clean) let me in
on a little secret about understanding addicts. want to know how
to quickly find out about what's bothering an addict? it is not
what they are talking about so much as what they are not talking
about....

i choose no sides here...that is simply not what i am about. i
value your friendship and respect every bit as much as i do the
same from angst or witchy woman.

sometime back witchwoman helped me to learn that i can agree to
disagree with someone, and still hold them as very dear friends!
like it or not i took one step closer to being a mature adult. i
will never be able to compenssate her for this favor, except by
being the kind of friend she was to me to everyone (esp. her)
else in my life!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[1fortheroad]

you have showed me the error of my ways many times in the past, and i have never gotten defensive because you choose your words carefully and never have the intent to destroy a person.  that being said, i think that some of my comments were, altho perhaps harsh, well-intentioned and truthful.  some perhaps weren't.  i have learned that i am not welcome here (except for maybe by you), and that i am sick and tired of being sick and tired of this place. even when my posts aren't directed at a particular person, certain people consistently jump in and give me negative feedback.  it's as tho because i never post to them, they will do anything to get my attention - even be cruel.  i have turned into a person (at least here) that i don't like.  i try very hard in "real" life to not get into petty arguments.  i almost never do with people i don't care about because they are just not worth it to me...i should have done the same here.

you have my email address i believe, and i'd love to hear more from you.  i can use CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, and that is usually what you give me.  thanks skipper - i hope you continue to fight the good fight.

[Witchywoman]

Well, I don't know what to say except that we all have to make our own choices about where we feel comfortable and where we feel placing our energy is most productive.

I found that coming here when I was trying to get clean, and being met with unconditional acceptance was what helped me most to get clean.  The friendships and support I've found here have helped me stay clean.  But, it is still a daily choice, and sometimes writing about what is going on in my life, my job, my husband etc is part of what helps me stay clean, knowing that I've got a place where folks who care will listen and support.

I've said it a million times. It is different for everyone.

Groovy I wish you the best that life has to offer, whether you continue to post among us or choose to go elsewhere.  I feel that any addict who has the desire to find recovery is welcome here, and hope that we can all be patient and kind enough to each other to help us all get to wherever we need to be.  

There was a time when I was in conflict with some people here, and when I posted about a very close call with relapse (pills in hand ready to take them...) those I was in conflict with jumped in with support and helpful words. They put aside the 'stuff' we were dealing with and just gave me help, addict to addict.  It still brings tears to my eyes when I remember those posts. That kind of unconditional acceptance, even from folks who got pissed at me for some stuff, is what keeps me here, and helps me stay on my path.

Like Kip, I'm not about choosing sides.  I do try as best I can to be about speaking Truth with compassion. I'll miss you if you go, but I trust you to know what is best for you.

love,
WW

[Keegan]

yeah, it may be good to seek professional help and see what the doctor says.  this could be a very tough thing to have him withdrawel from.  how do your kids feel about him being on pot?
i guess it could be like withdrawel from whatever the rest of us are on like caffeine or smoking cigs, etc.  if he has been doing this forever and just stops of course i think i would be moody too and it is such a change for your body.  but, he shouldn't be treating you badly and tell him to get help professionally because, you and the kids need to be treated better.  prayers are with your family.

[TiffanyLee]

I have been smoking Marijuana daily for almost 8 years. I started when I was 14 years old. I am currently 22. I started smoking because all my friends where doing it; it was the "cool thing" to do. Prior to smoking I was always on the honor roll I was the class president, and captain of the girl’s varsity track and cross-country team. As I began smoking more and more I started to notice that my grades started slipping and I was never on time for class. I started to bunk school and got into a lot more trouble. My parents did not know what to think of me. I would never go home I was always late for curfew. I remember at one point I did not go home for a week. I was starting to think about dropping out of school but then I got pregnant and decided to finish. My daughter will be 5 in just a few weeks. I had tried to quit before back in 2008, so I order this audio program that was suppose to have 100% success rate. Yeah what a bunch of BS that was. As soon as I heard the guy talk I shut it off, I could not even understand what the guy was saying. I knew that I had wasted my money. I quit for about a day and started smoking again. I know people say that you can not get addicted to pot but I do not know for some reason I knew I was. It was weird; I had never wanted something so bad. However five months ago I decided that enough was enough I knew I needed to quit. I could not afford my habit anymore.  I was spending all my money on pot rather than rent, food or anything else that is of prime importance. So I decided to quit. I went 2 days without smoking and then I noticed that I started to have anxiety attacks, became depressed and I was really nausea. I began to have cold sweats and just felt really weak. I started getting angry for no reason. I knew something was wrong. I really wanted to smoke but I knew that I needed to quit so I could better my life. I called my doctor and he said that I should try to pick up a hobby and he said that he could prescribe me something for the anxiety. I started drawing and I refused to take the prescription. I do not really like to put anything in my body that is not natural. I do not even like to take Tylenol when I have a headache. Picking up a hobby did not help at all.  I knew that I could not quit "cold turkey" so I started to look on the internet to figure out what I could do. I came across a website Maritox.com and it completely changed my life. I now have a great job, I have more energy to play with my daughter and I am back in school to be a personal trainer. If I can give any advice to the people out there that struggle trying to quit on there own or trying to find a good job, it would be to check out Maritox. I loved Maritox because it was all natural and not a chemical that is addictive and it is for those who want to quit smoking marijuana without being hooked on another drug. It actually helped with all my side effects that I was feeling while I was quitting. It is just like taking a daily vitamin or supplement. I am not saying that quitting is for everyone and I am not saying that everyone can get addicted to marijuana but I know for sure that I was and the only thing that helped was Maritox. I have not smoked in four months. Thank you for listening to my story. I would like to wish the best of luck to everyone that WANTS to quit.