Help! I'm fighting 4 my life!! "Subs" Need advice

[Familyman239]

Just wanna throw out there that I haven't been sober n a total of 8years! Very sad to admit that to myself. I've went from blues to subs back to blues & now finally subs again the past 3 years. I know I'm about to meet Hell !!!! Any1 reading this, thx u so much. It means the world to me.
So on suboxone 3plus years I've started at 6mg to now .75mg. When got to 1.25mg I stayed there up and down for the past 5-6months. In the past 9 days iv gotten down from 1.25 to now .75. Here's what I've done exactly.
I jumped from 1.25mg to 1mg  after 5days of 1mg went to .75mg today will be my 4th day on .75mg. Last night was worst for my taper so far. I started feeling the wds "muscle spasms, anxiety, and the serious lower back pain" I fought the mental part and was able to fall asleep. Though tossed and turned all night. 5:30am my boy woke up and my brain just turned on! I was wide eyed awake and the wds were intense. After getting my son a drink and breakfast ready. I laid down for about 20min just to c if I could mentally shut off wds. And I Couldn't, it kept getting more intense. Though I was able to make it to the 23-24hr mark of takin next dose. But tomorrow I Had planned to go down to .50mg. Do u think I'm going to fast or should I let the wds come??? Main question is that Im wondering if it's better to have minor wds?  So the half life catches up, and when I finally jump hopefully it won't be so intense... Or do I Go back and make another 4 days of .75mg? Like the taper guide that "robert325" suggest? Not sure if you'll know who "Robert325" is? Try googling him, It seems to be the best results for people tapering successfully. From what I've read.  I just hate the thought of starting another 4days at that .75 taper again. Everyday ***** so to get down to the minimum 4days with no signs of wd seems to make me not so panicky. But I'm trying to get as low as possible like .25 or even .125 every other day....Then jump! I've tried jumping at heigher doses but I CANT take the wds by the 4th or 6th day. So that's why I'm trying to get as low as possible and I'm hopeful to get to the point where all this half life can catch up. I've been taking these subs a long time so not sure if that has to do with anything. Im planning to jump in about 2-3 weeks. But not set in stone. Whatever it takes to successfully get sober.
I'm just trying to make this as easy as possible. After feeling those more than usual intense wds, after only last dose being 24hr. It wasn't mental, this was physical, usually I can sort of shut it down. It's FREAKING me out!!!  Wasn't expecting that. Plz anyone with any input or advice. I'm all ears. Please help me. I'm determined to beat this! Thxs 4 reading.
This site means a lot to me, throughout the day Im constantly think about everybody that I've been n touch with, it's gr8!  Hope everyone on this site has a blessed and productive day. God bless

[vicki595]

I commented on your thread before this one...they look identical...In that post I said you're tapering too fast. Give yourself at least a week to adjust before you drop again. You can't rush this process and if you go slowly and drop by small amounts at a time, you will cut those wd's to a more tolerable experience.  Good luck-

[clean_in_ks]

Just my opinion......doesn't sound like you are giving yourself time to stabilize at each drop in dosage.  Your body chemistry may need more than 5 days to adjust and stabilize as you decrease each dose.

You sound VERY determined....that is GREAT.....so listen to your body and get stable........don't put a pre-determined amount of time on it.....then drop again.

Wishing you the best...we'll be here rootin' for ya~