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I know that is hard for a parent, but they have tried and tried, and tough love is it for him, i am afraid..
I am a mother too, and that has to be the toughest thing in the world!!
hang in there
r2r
There's an attorney I know named Chuck, who's now in his early 40's, married with kids and as sober as the judges he practices in front of. His parents are now very close to him and his new immediate family.
When he was about 30 the opposite was true. His parents not only had to throw him out, they had to cut all ties with him. They sent him a letter that told him that any further contact was not welcome. He was specifically told not to come over, not to call and not to write unless he was clean & sober at least 6 months. The words that I can recall verbatim from the letter are "it is simply too painful for us to watch you destroy yourself. We won't do it anymore."
Then they stuck to their word.
Chuck has told me that his parents' action was huge in helping him turn the corner into Recovery. He says it was necessary for him to reach the end of his rope. Many, if not most, of us simply cannot get better if there's any little bit of rope left to hang on to. I know I couldn't.
Of course all that's easier said than done. I have four kids and the thought of having to turn my back on one of them makes me ill. Given their gene pool, however, it's a thing I may have to face one day.
The fact that rehab was tried before doesn't necessarily mean it's too late for rehab. I had to go twice - once for 28 days (after which I quickly relapsed) and once for 122 days (with no relapse as of today). To be perfectly honest, I think 28 day rehabs are dangerous - it's just not long enough for most folks.
In case afer case after case, they're with the program and feeling GREAT about their Recovery as they pack their bags on days 28. But they end up feeling like the rug's been pulled out from underneath them when they leave the safe place and return to the scene of their crimes. They (and often those around them) think that they should be back at the top of their game, with their problem treated and behind them. The truth is that they're at one of the most dangerous times in Recovery and most of the problems are still to the front . . . and they're not ready to face it yet unless they stay in a safe place, with safe people.
I know you said your parents don't have the resources to invest in further rehab, but they may not have to. Most states have programs for long-term Recovery programs that are virtually free. You might check with some local social services reps and see exactly what is available in your area. If long term, no-cost treatment is available, your parents might be able to present it to him as a "Hobson's choice" -- go to this long-term treatment or simply go away.
In the meantime, it might be of great benefit for you and your parents to try some Al-Anon (see http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/). I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but I know a fair number of folks in that program through my time in AA. They tell me it's been a life saver.
I will pray for all of you.
CATUF
Day-951