Here We Go Again!!!

[justneedtotalk]

Well....I relapsed again and it is back on the wagon tomorrow.  This time I told ALL of my sources that I am done and my medical supply is also done.  I have been on the wagon off and on for about 6 month only getting a few here and there.  Throughout this site I have finally realized that after care is the only way to stay sober.  I have also had a problem with alcohol which seemed to go away when on the pills but reared its ugly head when I was off of them.  I think that I just need to bite the bullet and go sober completely.  This is something that I have known for a long time needs to happen but I just love have a cocktail when friends and family get together.  I realized after my latest trip to Vegas with family that alcohol and drugs basically ruin my good time.  I now get so hammered that I feel miserable the rest of the time and try and chase the buzz by drinking or popping pills.  Something also happened this weekend that made me really think about my life's choices....My dad is a type II diabetic that didn't take care of himself and I had to take him to the hospital so that they could place a tube in his neck for dialasys.  I am only 36 but I have watched him struggle with health problems over the past few months and I would not wish that upon anyone.  I have a younger wife and a 15 month old daughter and do not want to follow in the same foot steps.  I truly want to get healthy (mentally and physically) so that I can be around for them for a long time.  I purchased the P90X program and have prepared for this detox via natural supplements etc....Anyways, if anyone has any words of encouragement or some advice please feel free to comment...I am sure I will be posting regularly...Thanks!

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude I just wanted to take a minute b/4 I go to bed to encourage you to do this
go into it with a win win attitude the prize on the other side is sobriety and its a beautiful thing it so great not being chained to a pill bottle or a bottle of booze for that mater
this will be one of the greatest things you will ever do for yourself and it will have a trickle down effect on your whole family eventually coming clean with your wife will be necessary our secrets keep us sick so keep that in mind it also helps if you got there support..
YOU CAN DO THIS and with aftercare you can make this your last time good luck to you and God bless......Gnarly      

[dominosarah]

Dont dread being completely sober.....It is the best feeling in the world.

Hopefully your wife will come around and try to understand addiction.  Just take care of you as you are the priority here.......sara

[justneedtotalk]

I agree...Before I found pills I was a functioning alcoholic.  My symptoms of alcoholism were hidden when i met my wife and we do not allow alcohol in the house.  I absolutely dread having to go sober completely from everything but I think that is the only way I will get through these addictions.  I will eventually have to come clean with the wife once I get into after care and that will be a huge hurdle.  She is extremely conservative and has no sympathy for people with addiction problems.  I need to get at least 3-4 months of sobriety under my belt and then we will see...thank you for the encouraging words..Thanks!

[dominosarah]

Aftercare is very vital to our success in recovery.  Using is just a symptom of what is really going on inside of us.  Its really common to switch up addictions after we stop using pills.  Alcohol is not the answer.  That is a dark lonely dead end road too.  You can also check out the alcohol forum on Medhelp too.  There are really good people on that forum also.  You dont have to be a hostage to this anymore.  Time to get you on the road to recovery.......sara