Aa
Help!
Hello Everyone- I am totally in need of support and help!! I sure you are all too familiar with my story..blah, blah, balh. It's the same! I am a self descrutive drug addict who has now foound a new addiction to pain pills. Arrggghh! I have been using pain pills for the past I would say off and on 3 years and for the past year non stop with two attempts at cold turkey. I have an amazing 3 year old daughter and an equally amazing husband!! I can not tell him ( although if I think he is so amazing I am not sure why) well probably becasue it would devstate him! I am buying Norcos off the street for an obscene amount of money and take entirely way too many in a day along with tramadol and regular 500 vicodin. HELP ME!! I need/want to quit. Since I have done the wd's before I know they are PURE HELL! I am sooooo afraid of them but I know if I don't I know at the rate I am going I am might die. I need support PLEASE ...... Thank you everyone . I know I am not alone I just feel soooo alone and secretive! And did I mention alone!!
Best Answer
You will make it! I know just how you feel and I know you do have the strength in you to do this!! It's time. Think of what you have put your body through taking pills, you body is going through all this right now trying to get back to normal. Do you remember what normal feels like? I'm just starting to touch on feeling normal again, and WOW, it's great! It's good to feel things, it's good to listen to music, it's good to sleep normally and not in a coma, it's good to cry. A lot of self talk, A LOT! Keep yourself going, it will end, you will feel better there is no other way to live you life again! I'm so proud of you, and you are going to be so proud of yourself in about a week when you start to see the light again:) Lots of benedryl and unisom, some dream tea, water, food, eat whatever you can, and vitamins. Take hot baths as much as you can, watch some funny movies.
Hey tavia, you deserve a big pat on the back. Starting withdrawals and going to work is amazing. I couldn't do it. I've always said that women have an internal strength that men will never understand. We are all proud of you for quitting and getting your life back. Life is precious and it belongs to you and your loved one, it doesn't belong to pills. I gave my life to pills for 9 years and they took me nowhere. Getting past the withdrawal stage is likely going to be one of the hardest things you do but the reward on the other side is monumental. You will eventually feel better than you ever have in your life. I know that now I'm clean I appreciate so many things around me. Life before pills was good but looking back I think I took it for granted. I'm a better listner now, I take the time to look around me and just wonder in the beauty that's all around me. The time I spend with family is a blessing instead of an annoyance.
You can do this and you sound like your strong enough to stick it out. Talk to your husband as much as you can so that he doesn't feel alienated but keep in mind he'll never fully understand what you're going through. He'll think that in a few day when you're feeling better that it's over and you can carry on, we all know better than that. Talk to us about everything you're feeling and going through because rest assured, we do understand.
Good luck Tavia, we are all here for you and we are so proud of you for doing this.
You can do this and you sound like your strong enough to stick it out. Talk to your husband as much as you can so that he doesn't feel alienated but keep in mind he'll never fully understand what you're going through. He'll think that in a few day when you're feeling better that it's over and you can carry on, we all know better than that. Talk to us about everything you're feeling and going through because rest assured, we do understand.
Good luck Tavia, we are all here for you and we are so proud of you for doing this.
I feel you. You are not alone. This is my first day on here and 15th hour of fentanyl withdrawl. So far I can say percocept withdrawls were worse and almost killed me! I bottomed out in the heart and require medicine for it, I threw up blood and crapped on myself and could not stop it, and went into renial failure. I had a good hospital. If at all possible tapper down. I like you buy meds on the sly, way overpriced stuff, that does not last anytime.Like you my husband has no idea! He thinks I am fine but I feel like I am dying. Hang in there. I pray for you and me and our marriages and children. This place seems good though. It has gotten me through this many hours.
You still there? It's 4 am and there's a possibility you might be up so I thought I'd send this and let you know I think your doing amazing. If you need to take a few sick days from work do it. Your doing great and I'm praying for you!!
You still there? It's 4 am and there's a possibility you might be up so I thought I'd send this and let you know I think your doing amazing. If you need to take a few sick days from work do it. Your doing great and I'm praying for you!!
Thank you! You are right! I will make it! I am determined! Shootgot just about 24 hours clean packed under my belt! One day at a time right. One day at a time of clean that is! Good God I can't wait to feel normal again!! I love that you said you are proud of me, that means the world to me and I really need that right now more than ever!! You are right in a bout a week I should be felling pretty proud too! Shoot hopefully I can start ( well I see the light) feeling better before that..I am hoping that my 3rd day most of the wds will have been their worst or is the 3rd day the worst? Shoot its hard for me to believe that it couldbe any worse than today .. I am bad and trying to fake it at work. :(
You can do this but the next 3 days are going to test your resolve bigtime. One statement that helps a person cope is "one needs to realize it ok not to feel ok for awhile. One can't speed the process up..I was a basket case the first time I tried to quit as I did not know what to expect. I found if you know what to expect, it makes it kinda easier to deal with the ill feelings..
Okay, 28 mins past since that last post..just took some more ibupofrin and L-Tysonine or whatever it is in hopes it will help a bit..What can I take tonight to make this time go faster? Benedryl and Nyquil make me sooooo droggy in the am!! I HAVE to go to work! I have to live through this dirt dark secret until I am better!!! I keep finding pills in my purse then I get up and go to the bathroom and flush them instead of taking them..That is right but REALLLLLLY HARD! I think oh one and I would feel sooooooooooooo much better but would I in the long run! No all these house I have under my belt would be gone that quick! Ugh! I can do this, right? Someone, please I need support!
Good God!! This is so hard I am MISERABLE!!! Nose constant running body in complete aches and I just have to keep trucking. I just feel like quitting so bad and getting a pill so I can make it through work and feel better!!! No! No! No! but God it is so hard. What is wrong with me and how did I let myself get here? I am definitely feel way sorry for myslef of course mad but its starting to lean the way of whoas me!!! Please yell at me tell me I can do this and everyday will get better I just have to make it through each day, right? Then I have a dayunder my belt and a day closer to sanity. This feels as if its never gonna end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Opps! My drug burnt brain and anatomical responses. I meant 7th line of you LAST post and "Indeed I am the pillE!".
Take care
Take care
Hi, read everything you and to say and the responses from the others. But the 7th line of your post "Indeed I am the pillar!" tells me more about you that everything else that I read. I now know that you can kick this s**t, no doubts whatsoever.
Only two things to remember, (i) don't try to be defensive and (ii) scr**w ego.
Take care
tntdynamiter
Only two things to remember, (i) don't try to be defensive and (ii) scr**w ego.
Take care
tntdynamiter
Oh tavia14! You're right this is a blessing, your husband knowing will give you the courage to beat this! Good luck to you on day 1, just remember that days 3-5 are usually the worst.....you'll get through this though! I know your hubby doesn't understand, know one does unless they've been an addict themselves really...but his help through this will make you feel less alone. I know I couldn't be going through my recovery right now without the support of my husband. He's the only one, besides the people here, who knows about my dirty secret. You can't be alone in this...it's too depressing. keep posting here for support, especially when you think your hubby is just not understanding you at the moment. Good Luck, i'm so proud of you for doing this, stay strong!
OK..Day one with nothing. My husband found out last night! Which was a total nightmare but at the same time the best blessing ever ( I guess). I feel like ( well of course he doesn't) he just doesn't understand! It doesn't make me a bad person that I did this..I weak person yes but a bad person no! He wants to know what is so bad with my life that I had to turn to pills! Come on ..really. He reminded of my beautiful daughter, which believe it or not I think of everyday! And how could I do this to them! I am the pillar of the family ( after this comment I had to do a double take). Indeed I am the piller!. What a mess I have made but the good part is IT"S OVER!! No doctors, no pills!! Just over! I feel like crap but hey who placed me in this spot..yes the one and only! I tried to tell me husband I think I needed to stay home..he said get up get to work and make it through this! You can do it..So here I am hoping that I can! Well, I will. Just hope the wds allow me to function!. He found out by opening the computer and seeing a "chat" on facebook with me and my "dealer" Ugh! Poor guy! Yes, you were all right!
I am glad you decided to quit. That is the objective anyway and tapering just prolongs the process. Clonidine is a blood pressure medication and will help in that area. I was given it in rehab and as far as I was concerned, it did nothing for me. It may have helped with an elevated blood pressure but I didn't notice. Maybe wait for some other responses from members who have taken it. See what they say.
In the meantime, go to the bottom right of this page and you will find The Thomas Recipe and The Amino Acid Protocol. They both contain supplements that many members claim to be helpful during withdrawal. I think it is a good idea but it is going to be hard to explain to your husband why you are stocking up on vitamins and minerals just "in case" you get the flu. So this may not be for you.
We will be here to support you all the way and as you go, we can suggest home remedies that worked for us. Hang in there and congrats on wanting to be rid of those evil pills!
In the meantime, go to the bottom right of this page and you will find The Thomas Recipe and The Amino Acid Protocol. They both contain supplements that many members claim to be helpful during withdrawal. I think it is a good idea but it is going to be hard to explain to your husband why you are stocking up on vitamins and minerals just "in case" you get the flu. So this may not be for you.
We will be here to support you all the way and as you go, we can suggest home remedies that worked for us. Hang in there and congrats on wanting to be rid of those evil pills!
I never tried clonidine, but I loaded up on benedryl and unisom, it seemed to help, and keep eating and drinking no matter what!
Hey girl! You know, I tried to taper because it does help to some extent in easing the severity of the withdrawals. But I did it really fast in a one week period, because just tapering alone can put you into withdrawals so once you start the taper it's a now or never kinda thing to stick to or else you'll never finish up with it. I tapered myself down from 200mg of morphine to about 50 mg in one week, i did try to go cold turkey after getting down to 100mg and the second day I litereally wanted to kill myself, so I begged my hubby(pill holder) to let me taper down for a few more days cause I couldn't handle it.....probably the addict in me panicking, but the wd's were reallllly BAD! So I did 100 mg the day I couldn't handle, 75 for 2 days after and then 50mg the friday nite and that was it I told myself NO MORE. My wd's were sooo much easier to handle after that, I had been mentally preparing myself for it as much as I could while I tapered and, basically I felt like I was in wd's for 2 weeks, but now I'm day 11 and I feel soo much better. If you do try to taper, make it so that your just getting to a certain point like less than 75mg and do it in a specific and short amount of time so you aren`t suffering for long, just get yourself down to only functional and mild withdrawls for a few days then take your last pill and say GOODBYE! Get rid of them so your not tempted and just do this. It`s like jumping off a cliff, I know....but you will land safely, I can guarantee you that. Anything is better than the viscious cycle of these pills. Then give yourself a few weeks to be you again, you``ll enjoy so many things that you are numbing with pills. Those pills don`t just numb the pain, they numb your life. Live your life again, I know you can. We`re here for you,and I wish you so much luck:)
Thank you so much for the info I think I should just quit. You are sooooo right 4 or 5 days of hell is nothing to be finally rid of it. I guess I should aim for the weekend so at least my husband would be around to watch my daughter and I could have the flu :( . There are so many reasons as to why I am not telling him. I wish I could I really do but I just can't! I do want help more than anything and I am ready to do this so I will be here asking for help and making my support system this way! I do need your help..Do you think its worth going to the doc? Or just bite the bullet. Would the Clonidine be helpful or not really? Thanks
Hi!
Pretty much the only thing a doctor will do for you is set you up on a proper taper schedule and perhaps prescribe Clonidine for the withdrawal. The taper schedule won't do you much good if you don't have help, i.e. someone to hold them and give them to you according to the schedule. I have heard thousands of people on here start a taper plan and I only know of maybe a handful who were successful. Tapering is tough stuff for an addict, and even tougher if you are trying to do it alone.
Not to be nosy...trust me...I am just wondering why you would not go to your husband, your life partner, for help and get honest? For me, my husband was the first person that I went to. For better or for worse, right? I don't know your story but I will bet your husband will stand behind you.
Your other option is to just quit. You will be sick for 4 or 5 days and the physical withdrawal will be done. Five days is not a lot to sacrifice to get your life back.
Whatever you decide, hang around here. there is great support in this community and the members will help you anyway they can. I wish you the best.
Pretty much the only thing a doctor will do for you is set you up on a proper taper schedule and perhaps prescribe Clonidine for the withdrawal. The taper schedule won't do you much good if you don't have help, i.e. someone to hold them and give them to you according to the schedule. I have heard thousands of people on here start a taper plan and I only know of maybe a handful who were successful. Tapering is tough stuff for an addict, and even tougher if you are trying to do it alone.
Not to be nosy...trust me...I am just wondering why you would not go to your husband, your life partner, for help and get honest? For me, my husband was the first person that I went to. For better or for worse, right? I don't know your story but I will bet your husband will stand behind you.
Your other option is to just quit. You will be sick for 4 or 5 days and the physical withdrawal will be done. Five days is not a lot to sacrifice to get your life back.
Whatever you decide, hang around here. there is great support in this community and the members will help you anyway they can. I wish you the best.
Hello all- Yikes I spent almost 30 mins writing a reply and poof I don't know where it went...so here it goes again. Sorry I am just getting back to you all now. I only have access to this website from work since I have not decided to tell me husband yet. I know I should but I just can't bring myself to do it. So here's an update on me. I tried yesterday tapering off. I tried as hard as I could to keep 6 hours inbetween pills and then only took ONE. Wow, it was REALLY hard and then once I took that one of course I wanted more because it felt so good. Yuck God I hate this!!!!!!! My question now is has anyone gone to their doctor for help? I am thinking that maybe there is something he could give me to help with the wds! Anything has to be better getting off of than these damn pills!! Or is this just another addiction I would have to get rid of?? Anyone done this before? I want out! I really do! I find myslef watching the clock and waiting until my next pill.. Help! Thanks everyone!
I think tapering does help to some extent, but you are going to have withdrawals either way. I tried to taper for about a week before I just bit the bullet and said this is it! It was hard to taper you have to be really disciplened(sp?) and not give into temptation. If you confess to your hubby then maybe he can help you to taper a bit and then help to support you through the wd's. It's hard, but I'm on day 6 and am starting to see a little bit of light at the end of this tunnel. You can too! This forum is what's gotten me through this week of hell. First I read a LOT of info on wd's, then I read some peoples inspiring stories and now i'm posting too, it helps so much keeps me busy. Stay strong, I know what it's like to go through this and have to act normal in front of my 3 kids but that helps motivate me more and more too. Take the bull by the horns and own it girl!
Wow! It was wonderful to come here and see all the support from everyone today!! you guys are awesome!! Thank you a million times over. You are all correct in what to do it's so funny I know how right you all are yet scared to death...especially the part with telling my husband!!!! I need to do this I want to do this yet I wake up and take another pill ( who am I kidding another well almost 4 pills now :( !!!! How do I do this? Do I just wake up tomorrow morning and quit? or do I taper? If I taper, how do I do it? Will it make the WD easier or will they be the same anyway I do it? Should I go to my dr and confess ( this way I do tell my secret to someone) Help!! Thanks everyone again so much for the support it makes me feel as if there is hope :) !!
IB always has the best advice :-).
Tell your husband the truth.... You need support and the best kind of support is from your family. It's gonna be really hard to get clean without someone noticing the issues assiciated with WD.
I'm 7 months clean and the one thing I can say is that its worth every minute of suffering you do now.
Good luck to you.
R
Tell your husband the truth.... You need support and the best kind of support is from your family. It's gonna be really hard to get clean without someone noticing the issues assiciated with WD.
I'm 7 months clean and the one thing I can say is that its worth every minute of suffering you do now.
Good luck to you.
R
Hi, just wondering how you are doing today? I'm feeling hopeful today on day 6 and it does get better if you just stay strong and push through. Do it for your family! You can find lots of support here, keep posting.
Hi! Hey, I know you are sad and discouraged and stressed! Being here is great start. Keep posting. The people here really care. For my two cents, let your husband read your first post. I couldn't have gone through WDs from pain pills without my wife. No doubt about it. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Getting stuff from the street is too dangerous for a mommy of a three year old. She needs you and you CAN do this. Praying for you.
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